Normal or Psycho - men please tell me what you think!!

e been dating a wonderful man now for the past two months. We are both 30 years old. I am crazy about him, but recently discovered that he has been sneakily looking through my phone. Then I discovered he also went though my computer files snooping for info. He checked my photos, tried to check my financial statement which was privacy locked) and viewed other random files.

I've talked with friends and some say this is normal and others say he is possessive and insecure and I need to cut it off now. I'd like to hear from men and hear what you have to say. Is this normal or completely psycho for a man to do (and so early on). Also noteworthy is the fact that I haven't given him a reason to distrust me. Admittedly, I checked an ex's phone (in the past) but we were together years before I did it and he had given me a reason. I've only been with this man for two months?

Advice is greatly appreciated :)

Ladies please answer as well. thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's possessive and insecure to say the least - if a woman I was dating so clearly demonstrated that she didn't trust me and invaded my privacy to that same extent, I would end things right then and there and not look back.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Checking someone's phone doesn't seem horrible as snooping goes. I've never done it, but would only be slightly upset if a girl went through mine. Going through your computer seems like more of an intrusion to me. I would be pretty upset if someone I had been dating for only a couple months started going through my computer and trying to get into financial statements. Either he doesn't trust you and wants to see if your statements show you've been spending money on dates with other people or he wants to see how much money you have which is none of his business until you choose to share it with him. Those are about the only possibilities I can think of and neither one says much that's good about him.

  • Psycho, honestly I distrust all women all the time BUT I never go through women's stuff. The not giving him a reason thing doesn't cut it tho


What Girls Said 2

  • to hold against you or blackmail you with or stalk you. Secondly, if he was trying to check your financial records, he may be after your money if you're rich or wants to see how much money you have to see if he wasting his time if you don't have a lot or if he can make you financially dependent on him to control you with money. That's a really bad sign. Thirdly, I have talked to other women who had the same exact thing happen to them, one was my sister. She had been with her boyfriend for about 8 months. Things were OUT OF THIS WORLD!... at first. Then, as the months rolled along she began to notice things in his personality that gave here the "creeps." She came home one day and found him going through all of her things and her phone. She left him shortly thereafter, and became a total psycho/stalker. She had to move, change her phone number. She bought a brand new car and not even one week after she bought it, she woke up and went to the front yard and it was TRASHED! The assh0le smashed out all of the windows, slashed all of the tires, and took a baseball bat to the doors and hood. He terrorized her. I felt so bad for her. This was about 4 years ago. And I have talked to many other women who have been through similar situations. And that's not mentioning all of the horror I have personally witnessed and experienced myself.

    Men are pieces of shlt! The first red flag they give you, hit the road! Please, trust me! Every single time I didn't listen to my gut when it told me to "RUN!" I paid dearly in the future for. A man who TRULY loved you would NEVER be snooping through your things behind your back.




    • Thanks for the feedback. Can you tell me more? What leads you to say that? have you been in a similar situation?

    • That's a very bad warning sign of a manipulative and controlling person, or worse. I've been through a couple of relationships with personality disordered men and they are all the same AT FIRST!!! They are very charming and sweep you off your feet, and you begin to think that you have found your soulmate. Seriously.

      What he's trying to do is get as much information about you as possible, for a various number of reasons. One, if the relationship goes bad he may be looking for information...

    • Thanks so much for your advice. Women feel free to way in!