Why did he join an online dating site?

for the past two years my partner and I had been having a rough time of it, fighting all the time and never doing anything together because of it and never trying to talk about our problems like adults , he would say I was controlling because I asked him to text or call before he heads home so I know when to start cooking dinner so it wouldn't be stone cold when he got home because he works all different hours and because sometimes I would need him to watch the kids and he wouldn't be home when he said he would and wouldn't call to let me know all our fights were over stupid things like that. So after a while I started getting a weird feeling and did the naughty e-mail check up yes I know invasion of privacy but he was the moron who got me to set up his e-mail account and never changed the pass word ,and while I was looking at them an e-mail for a dating site come in and I went and looked at his profile he had listed in his 'looking for' all the things I am not! and tried contacting much younger girls with those qualities when I confronted him about he he tried to make out I was setting him up or maybe one of the guys he did a take course with did it as a joke then finally that he just wanted somebody to talk to about our relationship problems but I just don't buy it am I right to be worried?

Updates:
I stay because when I try to leave he says I have to leave with nothing and that he will take my kids away from me and after we fight he says he loves me and that he doesn't mean what he said
I don't want to hear from guys who are gonna hate on me for looking through his e-mail I did it once because I was worried he is cheating on me and I have a lot invested in this relationship men just use that privacy crap as a way of hiding these things

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Becareful on your approach on this subject. Should you be worried? Um, you should be trying to pull him back in on his free will. I say this because even if he is thinking of cheating or has, you can't force him to admit it. You can only open his eyes to show him why he is still with you. I suggest you read Gary Neuman's, "The Truth about cheating". One of close female friends just read thatt book and foudn some "interesting insights" (her words not mine). This is only if you are interested in keeping him. But please remember that you deserve a man to be straight forward and honest with you. This man needs to open his eyes or leave. That choice is really up to you. Whatever you choose to do, just put your heart first. Because at the end of the day you can love him, but remember to love yourself more.

    Good luck to you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • he is looking for someone to cheat on you with, then again, you went through his personal stuff so I can see exactly why he might want to do that

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    • I went through his email he asked me to set up for him he one time because of the way he was acting he joined the dating site before I did that it wasn't something I was doing all the time ,why is it guys always say this unless you always have something to hide you're a jerk not helpful at all

  • yeah you should be worried sweety he's gonna cheat on you

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  • You've fought for years and are still together for some reason...

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's horrible that he mentions keeping the kids. But if it isn't working you two have to sit down as adults and decide you need to be apart and who should get custody. Whoever makes more money can provide for the kids, but if they work too much and are not around to watch the kids that could be a problem as well. This is a tough one. All that matters is that you both raise and respect your kids together as a couple or apart as exes. I hope it doesn't get catty between you two, cause it might make the kids act out. If he is on a dating site, he needs to move on already. All this arguing is just stressing you guys. :-(

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  • If he's looking for everything that you are not, maybe he's tired of you...as you two have clashed for years. Or he's in limbo about where things are going and is trying to test the water before he jumps into the pool. You guys really need to do some enjoyable things together (outside of sex!) so that you have more happy memories to reflect on and outweigh the bad times. If things still aren't working, then it wasn't meant to be. You nor he should take it personally if it doesn't last, just be amicable for the children. Its best they see you happy apart, than going at each others throats when together...

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