Going through some financially tough times....how should I approach dating?

I'm 28 and I'm a small business owner. Lately I've encountered some real tough times with my business. I'm not exactly rolling in the big bucks right now. In fact I just have enough to get by.

I also recently got dumped from a 9 month of/off relationship (day I got dumped I lost a big client...nice huh?). I know I should go out and meet more girls. But lets face it, if you have a penis...dating costs money. I figured I was spending $200 to $300 a month when I go on 4 to 8 dates.

Whats worse is I'm worried about when women find that I'm in tough times right now they will get turned off. I even believe my ex sensed this and subconsciously used it as an excuse to get rid of me.

On first dates I'm usually pretty good an covering this up and acting confident. I never discuss money and what my situation is. However sooner or later a woman is going to figure me out.

I could put my head down and stay single and save money. Truth is I'm very lonely right now. Having a girlfriend would help boost my self esteem a bit.

Again I'm no idiot. I have a college degree and ran a business for four years. I'm also told I'm a decent looking guy

Updates:
Thanks for the feedback folks. This is going to force me to get creative which is a good thing. Also this is a "acid test" to see what a girl is really like.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First, you might want to consider focusing on your business and getting things on track again before dating. It will give you genuine confidence and more money to spend on dates. You also mentioned that you just got out of a long relationship. Do you really want to make the next girl your rebound? Ouch. If you're lonely, get a dog, spend more time with family, do some volunteer work in your free time. Maybe even pick up a new hobby, like training for a marathon. That is the safe and secure way to go.

    Second, you could continue dating and just re-work your strategy. Ask the girl to go dutch sometimes, go on cheap or free dates, cook for each other at home, etc. Not the most glamorous option, but if you've made up your mind, there ya go.

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What Girls Said 3

  • One of the best dates I have ever been on was a bonfire at the beach. it was so romantic, and totally free. however if you are nowhere near an ocean, anything outside really is great. go on a walk somewhere, or take her somewhere scenic and pretty, its free, and I think it means a lot more then the age old classic dinner and a movie.

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  • Just get creative about it... do more thinking and plan the date in a way that you get to spend next to nothing, and in the same time... you will have more fun because is going to be different!

    Look on the good side - its hard but it will make you think harder... and impress the girl more! Stop with the self pitty... Watch The secret... (by that I mean to enchant the following mantra - `money comes easily and frequently` !)

    Good luck!

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  • well this could be a blessing in disguise. you will find out if a girl really likes you for you, or the benefits of dating a guy with money. I am a girl so I have no idea how much guys spend on dates. I just know that I don't date guys that don't take me out on dates, not because of financial reasons but because I don't want to feel used or like he doesn't think I'm worthy of taking out on a date. but I would go out with a guy who was creative and spent time with me and made me feel special...you guys can go for walks. go to lunch instead of dinner. you can cook home meals and have date nights there. go to museums. go to like fairs or parks on free admission days. you could tell her straight up "look I don't have a lot of money but I do like you"...its not all about money, its how the guy makes you feel. I know there are gold diggers out there but we all are not like that.

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What Guys Said 2



  • Acording to must belives you don't need much money to take a girl out and if they like you won't be the fact your broke at moment that will aftect her choice..

    You can take her to wal in garden, beachwalk, mountain trails..sightseeing.. there's tons of free stuff.. or cheap stuff... take her to eat an icecream on a beach or soemthing..

    Also tell the truth.. if ur broke , tell them that you are broke..dont pretend to be/have more that you are/have cos eventually you won't be able to keep up with the image you created.

    Also don't be afraid to get dumped by a girl cos your broke at moment.. she without knowing is doing you a big favor..

    And I'm telling this from personal experience.. One of the hottest girls I dated was a swedish girl...we met in a party in my freind house and she ask me in the end of the night for my phone number..few days after she called me and asked if I wanted to dinner . I simply was honest and told that I coundt cos I was broke ..she simply said didn't matter and she didn't mind to pay..We dated for 6 months till she got back to her country.

    Also take in a consideration the oposite if a girl doenst mind to go out with you if your broke , doenst mean you need to become a leech and make her pay for everything single thing.. Try to pay for small things and when you get better ,buy her some gift and start payign for some dinners too

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    • Lol. I wonder how many american girls would actually pay for dinner.

      I always pay for everything. But right now I don't have a choice.

  • that degree won't help you in women

    i can help in ur tough situation

    first you should tell ur date ur situation that way..

    1) if she doesn't like you she obviously wants money out of you

    2) you know the her character some what before getting serious

    there are more I can come up with its up to you if you want to find out more

    i can help if you need more detail in this don't be afraid to msg me

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    • Its it okay if you tell me more right here? Thanks for the advice. One thing I can say is that being honest about being broke is a real acid test for a girls character.

    • Yes it is but you should stop looking for girls that want money

      and get yourself some1 who cares

      u can still be romantic and be poor

      i know it because I do it sure few dollars her and ther but nothing like 200$

      and I know many ways to figure out a girl just by using ur words in a form that takes twice to fully understand but the point of it is, its that it show their true colors

      by doing that it leaves you the choice to stay or leave instead of the girl having to choose before you know it take my word

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