I cheated. Help!

I know this is like the #1 asked question on this site and should have an obvious answer, but I think my case has a few differences.

I'm with this guy ONLY for the summer. We're both aware and have discussed that the relationship (we're not officially dating, just hanging out and hooking up and talking and yeah) won't last after, because we're going back to school (schools which are about 12 hours apart). We'll still be friends and will hang out when we come home though.

I do not love him.

It is a summer fling. Nothing more.

And yet...

It was a one-time thing at a bar, he was out of town and I was missing him, I was incredibly drunk (which is no excuse, but still...), and the next day I sat in bed for hours and sobbed because I was so disappointed in myself. Our friends found out, and are threatening to tell him if I don't. I already convinced him that nothing happened between this guy and I, but I'm pretty sure our friends will soon sway this belief.

If I tell him, he'll be crushed and probably won't ever speak to me again. If I don't, our friends (who refuse to speak to me until I tell him) might eventually convince him of the truth anyway. Either way, our friends will probably never forgive me.

I had decided early on not to tell him because I saw no point in telling him. It would bring more bad than good. If we were in a committed/long-term relationship, it would be different (hopefully I wouldn't have cheated in the first place). But we're not.

So the question is, do I continue lying to him and either hope he trusts me over our friends or try and convince our friends also? Or do I come clean (or at least half-clean)? Should I wait until the end of summer or tell him asap? Or would coming clean now be even worse since I lied to him when he confronted me about it?

Put yourself in my shoes.

Please, do not comment if you're just going to judge me for this (though I do appreciate honest answers, even if they aren't what want to hear). I made a horrible mistake. I feel f***ing awful. I shouldn't be forgiven for it. But believe me, I know all of this already. I came here for help, not for hate.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you cheat on a guy he will most likely leave you or use it as a free card and start seeing other girls...


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What Guys Said 3

  • i think your should tell him because good people don't lie. I feel you want to be good. So tell him and accept the consequences like an adult.

  • Tell the whole truth, apologize, and move on with your life. Don't cover your ass, do right by your friends and the guy by being honest and trying to make a change.

  • oh good lord.. if you're not commited to this person.. don't even pretend to be. Enjoy your summer in any way you see fit.


What Girls Said 1

  • You said yourself it's not serious and if you both know that what's the big deal? Maybe it'll hurt him for a while but life goes on. Relationships are for the older people that have had their fun and are ready to settle. If you haven't had your fun then stop taking everything so seriously.