Is it okay for my girlfriend to kiss other guys?

My girlfriend is an actress and she always does these local plays in our town. I don't have a problem when she has to kiss a guy on stage during the actual play (I will admit it still irks me but I just bite my lip and get though it) but when she rehearses with this guy at his apartment, they still do the whole kiss scene for real. And I only found out because I wanted to go with her one time and she said it probably wouldn't be a good idea because I'd get jealous. I just don't see why they have to do it over and over again when they're rehearsing, can't they just fake that part of it until the show. It really p*ssed me off when she said they have to practice that scene like 30 times that night, its like they are making out all night. What should I do or tell her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ummm. I did a good bit of acting. Generally speaking you need to cool it as stage kissing is not particularly fun or erotic to do, but it is really hard to sell to the audience and truly *does* need to be practiced.

    The caveat here is give it some thought as to whether you are willing to suggest she is cheating with the guy. Doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like you don't understand that when you act you are fully becoming someone else and it takes practice of every little movement (including stage kissing) to fully embody the person you are acting out. Relax romeo, she's prob not running off with him. and if she's not running off with him, then there is nothing to this but your own insecurity over a stage kiss being too real for you. People have this reaction, but as someone whose acted, its not a very legitimate worry.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I was around an actor a lot when I was in college. Though we were crazy for each other, it drove me mad that he had to "practice" kissing other people (ahem, note "people") for different roles. I tried to understand, but there are things to consider, not just in terms of the emotional wear and tear on you (watch her personality shift a little each time she gets a new role, lol), but the risk of contracting something from the many crash-test dummies she encounters on stage, in studio sessions, etc., etc. While it may seem fun at first (almost like you're dating different people), the novelty and melodrama of that scene may leave a person wanting for something a little more stable at so many different levels.

    Personally, I had to move on. That guy's with another actor now and they understand each other. I can sincerely say, "Good for them!" as I was clearly not prepared for the degree of mental flexibility required at the time.

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  • Why is she at HIS apartment? Why can't they practice right before they have to start? But just only work out on faking chemistry etc.?

    So many questions...

    I'm not even dating her and I'm kind of annoyed at it...You need to express your concerns (in a non-intimidating way) and be honest with her. See if she can compromise...If she cannot (or will not) then you can either suck it up and support her or find another girlfriend depending if you truly care about her or your length of time together.

    If you care about her, just talk to her and support her, it MAY NOT be easy for her either...May not...Key word there...

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  • How long have you been together?

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What Guys Said 6

  • i think you have to understand that for an actor, their job is convince an audience that what they are portraying on stage is REAL. it is the actors' art form to be able to convince an audience that the lines they are speaking are the truth, and not just lines. likewise, her loving him and kissing him is not the truth, it's simply written into the script. but she must convince her audience that it is the truth. thus she must make the kiss appear to be as natural and effortless as if it were real spontaneous love, and that requires practice. what should worry you is if the kiss was so naturally passionate that they DIDN'T need to practice to make it look real. I understand it bothering you, though. the best thing yo can do is to support her, if you love her, and just do your best to remind her why kissing YOU is to tell the real truth.

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  • dude your dating an actress look at it this way the only way you date an actress that doesn't do kissing scene is if

    1) you date an ugly actress

    2) you date a bad actres(unable to get big parts means she is unable ot be the lead girl which usually gets the kisses)

    sp should support her cause it would be tragic if she suddenly got a big break as soon as you break up with her over this

    btw I wouldn't be upset with this unless she came home and didint wanna kiss you like if she had to reherse that night but was always to tired to makeout with you or have sex with you then I would think it was a promblem

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  • She's an artist. She gets one lifetime to express the muse in her soul. There are a million guys she can spend that lifetime with. Why should she waste her time with someone who doesn't fully support her practicing her art?

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  • Fake rehearsals lead to fake performances. She's doing her job, and being professional about it.

    Try offering your support. She needs it way more than she needs some jealous rant.

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  • This is something that she really admires and you must of known going into the relationship that she was going to get involved in situations like this. It all comes down to trust, if you truly trust her then you will be OK with this. You need to let her do her thing and just support her and if you can't then maybe she is not the girl for you because you can't tell her to quiet her passions just because you don't feel comfortable. At the end of the day its just a job and you need to deal with it or leave. Good luck man!

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  • Dunno what to tell you.

    I wouldn't like that too.

    I'd ask her exactly what you said: 'Why can't you just skip the kiss and only do it in play?'.

    Anyway, try to find out if they only met in stage or have any kind of background.

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