Do you ever wonder why some men like bitchy girls?

Well I don't usually like calling girls derogatory terms, but I know most people do so eh. I am what a lot of people call "bitchy." I know my qualities and that I am an awesome person in my own way but I guess this is just a brief moment of insecurity. My boyfriend and I ran into his ex girlfriend (the one he dumped so I would go out with him...awkward) and she is the epitome of sweet. She's soft spoken and in comparison to me she's very quiet. I've like never heard her curse or yell at anyone. She very calm and composed, the kind of chick who you know will tolerate more than she should but never air her dirty laundry in public or make a scene. She's not beautiful but she is pretty and she dresses well. She isn't very noticeably intelligent, in fact she's a bit simple but she has a charm that makes her adorable. She was the cheerleader in high school who everyone adored. Just to give you a picture of what I am comparing myself to. I have nothing against her we just were not (and still aren't ) compatible types in high school. Very different. Which sometimes leaves me insecure and thinking about why he chose me over her. I would choose me but I always hear men saying the opposite.

I've been with my boyfriend since junior year in high school, 4 years ago, and I know I am a handful to deal with. I have a very sharp tongue and it doesn't take much effort for me to be condescending or belittle others especially in debates or arguments. I am very persistent and sometimes demanding which sometimes leads me to pick arguments with my boyfriend especially if I feel like he's trying to ignore me or move on from a potentially volatile conversation with me; even my tone of voice can be this way without me even noticing it. I am the exact opposite of a push over - I'm a beautiful confident strong woman and I own that. Sometimes I feel like I have to dominate more than necessary ( in less than positive ways) to prove that I am a strong woman. I may interrupt him when he's talking or demand that he do something or go somewhere with me without asking him or talking it out like I should. I'm not always like this but all of this is a part of who I am. I can be very nice and kinder than most people I meet but I'm not sweet in the way his ex is. I wonder if he ever thinks about how different things would be with her. :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well to answer your original question, I think the reasons some guys like bitches is the same reason women like jerks. The assholes amoung us are more assertive, so sometimes its easier to go along with them than argue.

    It can be a lot of work and pressure on guys when they are with an ultra un-assertive girl. They never innitiate anything, not sex, not dating, not the relationship. If you are with an un-assertive person you have to do all the work. That can be tiring.

    It can be refreshing to not have to do all that. If you are with an assertive person, its more likely they will take some of the responsibility for making the relationship happen.

    For better or worse, most bitches/jerks are at least assertive, that tends to be their redeeming quality.

    Its a trade off really, I have zero tolerance for bitchy-ness myself, I have a very low thresh-hold for tolerating BS. But its also exhausting being with quiet girls who refuse to make any decisions. Some guys are willing to make the trade others are not.

    Likewise, some people just like being told what to do. In both men and women there are those of us who like being bossed around. There always have been.\

    Where does this leave you? I don't know. Its always hard to say if 2 people are compatible, we all want different things. If your boyfriend likes it when you are bossy and domineering, then maybe you are a good match. If he likes it when he is in charge then maybe you are not such a good fit.

    I'd say it looks good for you. it sounds to me like he used to date the prettiest most popular girl in school. He didn't pick her. He picked you.

    It sounds like you think you are a little to pushy with him. I recommend making a more concerted effort to show him some respect. Do not interrupt him so much, do not boss him around so much. And of course TALK to him, and find out what he thinks.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I don't like bitchy girls , never did ... and if you are vulgar and loud then all the hotness that you have wouldn't match how unattractive you are to me.

    In fact I have a thing for the quiet girl you described... shyness is so sexy . Ofcourse there should be a balance in personality ... but lets put it this way if I am to choose between a beautiful girl tha is quiet and shy and a hot goergeous girl tha is loud and vulgar I would choose the quiet and shy girl hands down .

    But men and women are different and tastes differ. Nothing here saying that you are bad and she is good. That is just my tatse.

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  • well I guess being a little bitchy is good cause you need backbone I like the girls who like to hold back and cry and sh*t when they get talked about are wimpy good job keep being bitchy love it hell I do.

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  • I like bitchy girls because their a bit of a challenge. In all honesty once I've had them I dump them. Can only take a bitch for so long. Anon posted bitchy girls are confident. That's not true, I found they are the most insecure out of all women and being a bitch is a front. Just my experience.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Guys only care about looks,so as long as the girl is eye candy,that's all that matters:-)

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    • Lol true... but I'm pretty difficult and I don't think many guys would put up with a difficult woman just for her looks for four (almost five) years. I think if it was just about the physical he would have moved on a long time ago esp for an attractive guy our age. He loves me that's why he's with me but I still wonder if he thinks about her. I ask him and he says no I'm the real deal she's just an ex but idk.

    • I think most would if the girl was eye candy

  • guys like bitchy girls because bitchy girls are strong. girls who are wimpy doormats don't get respected by guys because there is no challenge. if you do everything a guy tells you to and bend over backwards to get his approval why whould he like u? "bitchy" girls that are more confident are respected plus they are usually hotter lol. you have to have a backbone

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