Why couldn't he just choose?

I asked my boyfriend to make a decision between me and his wife. He had been having an affair with me for 2 years. He couldn't make a decision. So I did. I told him it was over. Why couldn't he just be up front with me and say I am staying with my my wife.I have been through way too much heartache.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The heartache was self inflicted. You got involved with a man who was already involved with someone else. Not just involved, but vowed to spend the rest of his life with someone else. He didn't tell you upfront because he's not a good guy. You're surprised that a guy who cheats on his wife would lie to you? I'm suddenly reminded of a quote from The Hangover, "You mean, the drug dealer at the liquor store *wasn't* a good guy!?" Seems like a no brainer to me.

    It's also a well known fact that guys who have affairs rarely leave their wives. Women who cheat usually do so because they're unhappy in the relationship, men cheat for the spice and sex life they may not be getting from their wives. It doesn't mean they're not in love with her. It means they wanted some tail on the side. You were that tail. And they will say anything to keep it. Playing around with a married man never ends well. He'll most likely never leave his wife, and if he does, you'll spend the rest of your relationship together paranoid that he's sneaking around behind your back too. And he probably is.

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    • Unknowingly self inflicted. Like I said I didn't know he was married until the end and that's why asked him to just say to my face I am staying with my wife.

What Guys Said 1

  • why would he want to throw away some strange on the side...he wasn't going to leave his wife and family for you, two years come on you knew that...you were easy free sex on the side. if your p*ssed tell his wife.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You got involved with a married man and are surprised he didn't want to choose and that you've been through heartache because of it? ..Really?

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    • I didn't know he was married until the end.. that's why I asked him to choose

  • because he did not want to lose you as a sex partner. How could you expect him to be upfront with you about y'all situation when your entire relationship was built on dishonest. Hello! he WAS cheating on his wife with you. Honestly woman to woman: You shouldn't have settled for bein tha other woman. You should value your self more. Maybe if you got into real relationship not a side one you would not have as much heartache and drama as you do now.

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  • Because he didn't want to lose his fun on the side, sorry to sound harsh but unfortunately quite a few guys and girls would rather not make a decision and try and get to keep both then have to be honest and risk losing one of them

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  • no offense, but I feel absolutely no sympathy for you. you got what you deserve

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    • Cuz I didn't know until I found in the end he was married? Give me break it could of happened to anyone. I asked him to make decision or I would. Why is it so hard to say I am staying with my wife.

  • I am sorry to hear...

    I suggest you stop asking why... sh*t just happen, there is no why.

    It is over and done with, so, stop asking why. Move on and enjoy the rest of your life :)

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    • I am enjoying life thanks but it sucks that he lied to me for a year and a half.

  • He wasn't upfront cause he prob had some sort of feeling for you, he didn't want to hurt you. He was thinking it through in his mind, "Her or my wife" ... he gave it some thought. That's why when you went up to him and were so straight up he was speechless, cause he liked you .. I mean, he was having an affair with you for 2 years.

    Plus, a marriage is not a easy thing to just get out of, they got married cause at someone point in life he had some sort of emotional feeling for her. So he couldn't throw his marriage and all that he has with that lady away.

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