We broke up in February. I am a writer and have had a blog since June that I write in frequently. He has been checking it DAILY and sometimes even multiple times per day (I get web stats so I see who visited). In the past couple weeks, he has even started commenting under a fake name. He had no idea that I knew this.
Anyway, I took this to mean he might still be interested, so when I was in town this weekend I sent him a "suggestive" text that we meet up. He backed out and claimed that it would only be "cold, detached" and there's no use in someone getting hurt over it. We spoke back and forth through text throughout the weekend but he remained aloof and distant. Finally, I confronted him and told him I know he still cares and that I didn't know how to break his wall down. He sent me this:
"In all fairness, I am in a relationship now and the most important thing to me is to not mess it up. If I thought we could co-exist on some plane and not mess that up, I would. However, I just don't want anything to mess up the path I've currently rebuilt"
Sounds blunt enough, right? So then why would he wait until I had spilled my guts to him over and over this weekend before he decides to admit his relationship? And why, if he's in such a happy relationship and doesn't even want to "coexist" with me, does he read my website EVERY DAY, comment, even make heartfelt remarks at times? If I knew my boyfriend was e-stalking his ex and messing around on her website all day, I drop him like a hot potato.
I would appreciate your analysis on this matter. Thank you.
Most Helpful Guy
If he is "stalking" your blog he probably still has some interest/feelings/regrets about you.
If he says he is in a relationship with someone, maybe he really is. If he is just be happy for him(assuming you ended on good terms) and wish him the best. But end the conversation there. Don't drag it on. You will come off as still interested in him, maybe clingy/needy depending on your messages back and forth.
His text as far as I can read into says that he does have some feelings for you, and maybe he is afraid if he sees you he will be filled with the emotions he has finally overcome to advance his life. Or maybe he is single and just trying to make you jealous. Its hard to say for sure.
Rather than getting pulled into a mind game with him, just take everything as he says and just be OK with it. I say just let him be happy with his Girlfriend (fake or real) and back away. This may even make him feel more attracted to you at the ability to not need him (if your angle is to get him back that is).1