Are girls afraid to date a guy who doesn't need them?

Are girls afraid to date a guy who doesn't need them? Is it a control thing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just want to feel wanted, not needed...my boyfriend says he'd kill himself if I was to die, and I hate that, no one should kill themselves, even if it is for love. I don't like have a lot of control, I prefer the guy to, but he has to be reasonable.

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    • You aren't the romantic type are you?

    • I agree with your comment. Thanks :)

    • I am a romantic type. But I believe I have to try to make it as romantic as I can too(girls can be romantic), and if he does YAY. If not, so what, that's life, you can't have everything you want all the time

What Girls Said 13

  • Nah, because trust me, every guy needs a girl. Just like every girl needs a guy. No matter how independant you are, you are not going to be able to hug youself when you're down or cuddle yourself in bed when you're cold and lonely.

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  • Well just like love.. you need another person in your life, admit it or not its what you need.

    I'm not gonna like.. your question confused the living hell out of me, but if you mean girls don't want guys that don't want them back. Yes, and no.

    Why would I want a guy that not only thought nothing of me, but said he didn't need me?

    I think I'm going with the guy that says my life would be NOTHING without him. because then do I not only feel wanted.. I AM wanted.

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    • I hear you. I want the person and love them, but I don't *need* them.Like,not a I won't be able to live without them kind of thing. I will be able to live, I don't need her to complete me, I am complete, I just want her to walk with me. know what I mean?

    • I know exactly what you mean.. it just means your extremely independent in a relationship.. but maybe try to let your guard down a bit & open up to her and show your feelings. and dnt tell her that, haha she will leave if you are not needing her =[

  • No but they at least want to feel wanted I mean no one wants to be in a relationship where the other person doesn't want them. I mean I don't want a guy crying the second I leave and jumping with joy when I enter a room but I do want to be wanted. When I haven't seen them all weekend a nice kiss and "i missed you" will always make me smile.

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  • All women love to feel needed. May I suggest an article I wrote earlier? It's called the Art of Being a Woman, and it talks a little bit about what you're asking. Hope it helps.

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    • This is actually funny. One of the questions I asked was "could someone be TO GOOD for another person" and therefor push them away. I guess if a woman wants to be needed and can't find a reasons it is possible that the guy could be "TO GOOD" or "TO PERFECT"

  • Most of us don't want to be with someone that seems to have no need for us. It's not a control thing, it's an affirmation thing. If they couldn't really care less if we're around, then why stick around?

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  • Needy guys are predictable, I like to be surprised. Guys that are needy are generally too emotional. Honestly, I have no problem boosting a man's ego, but if he is constantly needing me to enable him, I will enable him to be history.

    You can control needy guys, but they suck the life out of you. I would much rather have a guy who chooses me over everyone else than a guy who needs me. Chances are if a guy needs you he probably need two or three other girls as well.

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  • I would say that some girls also want (reasonable) distance and need time on our own, what we don't appreciate is when a guy disappears for an unreasonable time.

    Put yourself in our shoes, if you had been dating a girl for quite some time and all of a sudden she just dissapears wouldn't it be natural to at least wonder what happened to her? and why she just stopped existing?, would you even consider IMing her?

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  • If a guy acts like he doesn't care whether I'm around or not, it's a big turnoff. if I feel like I'm just some replaceable girlfriend then I will start to Not care either (a.k.a. dump you)

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    • Yeah, I do care though. I have been hurt in the past and I guess I have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, and it doesn't appear like I am emotionally invested.

    • I've been thinking about this lately.I know I'm good guy and will hold up my end of the bargain, but I have been burned in the past unless the girl showed her cards first before I showed mine.Thank you for your answer,I guess I am still figuring this out

  • As a woman in her late twenties - I must say I would never date a man that needed me. You should never need anyone in your life, you should simply want them there.

    I'm a firm believer that you must first be self sufficient and independent before embarking on developing potential long term relationships with others. - Do I want to feel appreciated and wanted, of course - who wouldn't? But needed, definitely not.

    If a man were to relay to me that he "needed" me in his life, I would interpret this to mean that he has some sort of instability in his life that which I do not want to be a part of.

    I like an independent man - its a good quality to have.

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  • Here's what I always say to my boyfriends, "I don't need you I want you" there's a big difference. I'd rather a guy not be needy because when you're with someone needed you tend to become one person. (You know where people say both your names like one big one like jessicaandjosh or something. ) Keeping your individual identities is the most important thing to me as I'm sure it is to other women. Being an individual doesn't mean ignoring the girl, it just means giving her space.

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  • Well, afraid isn't the right word.. We're not AFRAID, but what girl wants to feel unwanted? Most girls tend to have low self-esteem, and most of us still strive towards that fairytale romance you see on the big screens. We don't want a jerk who treats us like we're as disposable as used napkins. You don't have to be clingy, but if you want your girl to stick around, try showing a little more appreciation for your lady.

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  • I wouldn't date a guy that didn't need me because then what would be the point in dating you I like to feel special and having a boyfriend that didn't need me would do the apposite

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  • its not that I'm afraid.i just wont.why date someone who doesn't need me when I can find someone who does?

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    • So how can you tell when a guy needs you? What does he have to do to prove it? does he have to feel pain or something when he is not with you?

    • If I'm with a guy and he treats me like sh*t then he doesn't need me so I won't be with him...i'll find someone who will treat me right and I will know he needs me and loves me.

What Guys Said 6

  • No, definitely not. But what girls (people) don't like is if someone is emotionally distant, particularly in that boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that should be one of the closest relationships you have (if not the closest). A girl absolutely wants to feel needed, liked, and admired in a relationship. If she feels like an afterthought or accessory then she'll be looking to leave. On the other hand if you come across as strong and independent, but involved and caring, she'll respond to that.

    It's not a control thing; it's a feeling.

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    • I absolutely agree. It's the reason I've left relationships.

      Don't lose her.

  • Are you serious?

    Everyone wants to feel wanted!

    Its not control, but they do want to feel needed.

    Sincerely,

    A Loving Black Man

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    • Thanks for the answer, you make a good point.

      I couldn't tell if you were black and loving at first, but now looking at your picture I can tell you are :)

  • They want a guy who doesn't need them, this only pisses them off and annoys them to a point of where they don't talk to you anymore if your needy, the key is to make them want to need you, how do you do that by not being available all the time.

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  • Nope. The way I see it, they actually want a guy who doesn't need them. In some cases, and I know this from experience, they will actually dislike a guy who needs them, They prefer someone who doesn't even want them at first, because that makes them feel like they've won something and the guy is their trophy

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  • I feel I'm the same I've had girlfriends really lovely girls. Yet I've never felt I needed a girlfriend its nice but I feel I could live without. My current girlfriend is long distance but I don't mind cos I enjoy hearing from her but my life is good as it is. There's always something to occupy the mind.

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  • Why would you date a girl if you don't want or need her? just sex? you're still in need and of course if you are any type gentleman the woman is in control when it comes to sex....i.e. saying yes or no. unless she's but faced drunk or drugged and doesn't know whats going on.

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    • It's not a don't want thing, or not being a gentleman. I really care about women, I am just a complete person emotionally and independent. I don't really have any voids for a woman who likes to help people or tries to save guys.

    • I hope you understand what I mean when I say that, a woman who tries to "save" guys. And of course I believe the woman is in control, I don't use people or would want them to use me. I'm just saying I'm not a needy person,it doesn't mean I treat women bad

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