Okay, here it goes. I'm bracing myself for a bashing from all of you. Yikes!
I've been in a committed relationship to an older woman for 14 years until just recently. She and I have discussed going our separate ways about four months ago. It came to the point where we were talking about how we were going to handle shared assets, but I never left her. We continued the blah! relationship. She and I never shared the same interests and we couldn't remember a fun time together. I had goals of starting a family and she didn't. I like being social and she is a homebody and workaholic.
I've been working out at a gym where one of her company's activity desks are located. There I met several of her female employees. I grew attracted to a young red head girl, Paris. She and I kinda hit it off from the start. There was a lot of teasing and flirting, and we shared a lot of common interests such as diving, running, photography, and social activities. Well we started diving together without my girlfriend knowing. She and I would go out to dinner after. One day, Paris asked me if I wanted to run. I accepted and my girlfriend caught us. When I got home after the run, my girlfriend was rightfully upset and she called it off!
Paris and I have continued to see each other until recent. She also still works for my ex. Paris has started to say that she doesn't want to be labeled as the Homewrecker and is concerned about her image within the company. She is also paranoid about losing her job. I'm afraid that I've already lost my relationship with Paris. Can anyone tell me if I need to give it time? What are your thoughts?
Most Helpful Girl
Whatever actions went on had actively in real time occurred. However way you would like to approach the situation, add length of time, or justify to rationalize you can't hide from the feelings and emotions born from the event. This looks like a wild random incident that could have been avoided however temptation ruled and dragged out. I truly believe if both of you & ex were over the relationship splitting assets would not be problem.Material things has the weight equivalent to a fingernail clipping when your already out the door. Its clear, you didn't have a perfect relationship, feelings were hurt, and holding on to material things is a cop-out to hold on to the other person as a way of control ref. to communication.Your both adults, and know who bought what, belongs to who, especially what you brought to the table before you moved in.Why are you really into Paris? Shake it off; if you want some of your assets, you won't get it by staying with Paris and using her for reason to be within a certain vicinity is not smart.Cut your ties, and learn from this.Paris wants her job, and understands the ever so wise cliche of not mixing business with pleasure.It's apples NOT oranges.The girl is in a crappy position and probably wakes up every morning worried fear of job security.Leave her alone. When and if she gets canned or decides to go her own way maybe then you should approach Paris again.But only until then.0