I am a single mom to three kids who are small. Does that turn you away from wanting to date me?

OK so I am a single mom I have three small kids would you date me or think it's to much for you because I have three small kids? Also How do I meet a guy when I am so busy at home I am tired of being single and alone how do I get back into the dating scene with three small kids?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alot of the people responding on this forum are really early 20's or not even there yet and are at a completely different stage of life than you so don't really pay much heed to their "hell no's". I'm only 21 and I've found that what I want from a woman is already rapidly changing from when I was 17 and I'm sure that when I'm 25 it'll be different from when I was 21. If I was 28 and had a stable secure job would 3 kids detract me? I don't think so. I would be falling in love the woman and if 3 kids are an extension of her than I would love them as well. Some guys have more pride than others and couldn't grow to love a child that wasn't their own. Other guys are only interested in having a family. I know I would be more than willing to adopt if my wife couldn't have children and I don't see marrying a woman with 3 kids to be much different than adoption.

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    • Thankyou for what you have said and I feel that you are right thanks for that smile you have placed on my face.....

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    • This. In the most non-hitting-on-you way possible, I love men like you. That's why I'm marrying one. :-) You guys have your hearts in the right place.

    • Wow...truth

What Guys Said 15

  • That is a big turn off for most guys, especially if they are under 25. Most guys don't want to be in a relationship and already have to think about 3 younger kids. When you start dating, you shouldn't already have to be thinking about 3 younger kids, and all that goes with that.

    I'm sorry that you're in the situation that you're in, but it isn't going to be easy for you to find a guy who is ready to be a part of that. There really isn't any advice to give other than to be patient. It's not the answer you want, but it's the only answer that is true.

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  • for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

    (note to reader this answer is from another post I answered on the same ? but applies here as well except possibly age range)

    let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

    i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

    i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

    the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

    most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

    he was controlling

    maybe abusive word or physical

    cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

    he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

    well what type of guy should you choose then?

    well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

    ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

    LOL ...

    but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

    realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

    yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

    you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale ...lol far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

    hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.

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  • I can sum this all up as: A woman who is a mother is not a turnoff. But a woman who is a sh*tty mother is. I'm not above dating a woman with kids, but I can be very judgmental about how she treats them. And if it seems wrong to me, like she's abusive or neglectful or spoils them rotten, I'm history.

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  • Yes. I'm not ready to be a pseudo-dad. I also have no interest in picking up the pieces for someone else's failed marriage or bad decisions.

    That probably sounds harsh, but to act like being a single mother (especially a single mother of three kids) isn't a major detractor just like being grossly overweight, or being a drug addict, or being a giant asshole... to act like being a single parent is somehow "different" would be dishonest. Sorry.

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    • What I mean by that is more that a girl who's somewhat attractive but has three kids needs to understand that she can't simultaneously maintain ridiculous standards as though her having three kids isn't an issue with dating her.

  • Not a turn-off, but I'll need some time to decide whether I want a relationship with you before deciding whether I want to parent with you (or at all). By the way, this goes both ways; you'll need time to decide about me.

    A lot of serious thinking to be done. Can't be rushed.

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  • Me personally? Yes it would. I'm 20, work full time, still in school, and haven't done nearly as many of the things I want to do like travel and stuff like that. I have a good job, but am not established as far as a career goes. Also, and this isn't anything personal, I'm just not interested in kids at my age. I don't want marriage or kids now or anytime soon.

    As for other guys? There are those out there that don't have an issue with a women already having kids. I know my step sister has 3 kids, is trying to start the divorce process, and has people that still are interested in her. So it's definitely possible. There's not really anything in particular you can do, you just have to find those men that don't have a problem with a woman having children.

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  • I personally would not date anyone with one kid, let alone 3 kids. The reason is that most guys would prefer to start fresh than with someone who is already a mother...they want their own genetic code in their kid...it's wired into all of us.

    Not saying this is you, but personally to me...I am not attracted to young mothers. I question why they would consider having kids at such a young age (having 3 kids when you're 25-29 tells me you were a young mother) if they don't have (not saying this is you, so don't bash on me) a degree with a stable job with a stable income.

    I always believe that to raise good kids you need a good environment, and sometimes that means having enough time AND money to support the kids on one income...not two.

    I've always said that when I was younger and as I approach 30 (won't happen for a while, anyways) I high doubt that will change.

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  • I would definitely steer away. This is just my opinion, I want kids that are mine not another guy's, I just wouldn't feel close to them as if their my own. Also like the guy below said I'm just not ready for kids at 20 years old. I'm still finishing school up, and looking for a job to begin my career while working a full time job. Financially it just doesn't make sense for me to put myself in a whole when I can find someone without the baggage. Sorry.

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  • Yea I wouldn't want to date someone with kids. With one child, MAYBE - but I wouldn't want to be involved with someone with 3 kids already. Online dating maybe?

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  • Yes. I want my own family, not someone elses. No offense.

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  • I think that having 3 at such a young age may be part of the problem. I was 29 when my first child was born. If I was to date a single mom with small kids, she would need to have no more than 2 kids, if that many. One is preferred

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  • dam your fine

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  • even if you had no kids I would date you, not unless you got a paper bag over that mug

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  • Just answered this same question for another woman so I'm going to copy and paste:

    Honestly, no. You're young and already 3 deep into parenthood. I think whatever your issue is with the Dad(s) needs to be sorted out and fixed. I'm not saying you are but I know women are quick to go and blame the guy for everything and say he's a dirtbag, deadbeat, whatever even though he's doing everything in his power to keep everyone happy. Sometimes you need to take a good look in the mirror because the reflection you see is the real problem.

    Just my extremely inflated and experienced 2 cents.

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    • Wow! Don't judge me without knowing me. First all three of my kids are by the same dad second. My ex husband is serving hard time in prison for opening up my head I had to get staples in my head for what he did. And no I did nothing wrong except try to leave after I found out not only did he cheat but he got the girl pregnate you don't stay in relationships like that. so please whoever you are don't judge me if you don't know my situation and like one guy said every guy is diffferent.

    • I didn't judge but thanks for jumping to conclusions. If you have a serious issue (aka abuse) then of course move along.

      Incase you missed it initially, I said my response was a copy and paste. You didn't tell us any background information so I provided you my generic response.

    • He did that to you?!!! Girl, props for getting out while you could! NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. I can see you're trying to move on from him. Move on from all the pain and abuse he caused you. An abusive cheat who got another chick pregnant? Bury him.

      To the Answerer ...telling her to look in the mirror for the real problem, is a judgement. And a sh*tty thing to say to someone as a generalization. Very insensitive, imo.

  • yes you are too loose and washed up. Nothing has been preserved for me

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm a single my mom with two girls. Guys are still attracted to me because I'm 24, I own my own house , a good ass job, car, I'm almost done with nursing school. Also some guys are not ready for a real women with kids. Some guys are not mature enough to handle another man child. Girl, I know you love your kids and they come first. But also look out for you, because have needs too! Even if it doesn't turn into a relationship, keep moving forward. And don't let him meet your kids right away! Wait till you see that he's not just interested in you and not your children. Plus he will let you know as well if he ready. Cause one day he might say I want to meet your children. I hope I help you out!

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  • Actually I have 4 kids and they are part of what attracted my man to me.He told me that when he first met me he k new I had to be a hell of a woman for the same guy to want to put 4 babies in me and that there is no other woman on the planet that has 4 kids and still keep a clean,organized house and keep a job and bills paid on her own. I told him yea it looks good but I'm secretly going nutzo and we been together for 3 years.He comes home to me everynight and I never have to guess how he feels about me because he lets meknow.Before him I thought no one would ever want to be with a single mom of 4.(thier dad is in prison for 20 years) so there's also no baby daddy drama.

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    • Wow! thankyou what you said t me helps out a lot my kids father is also in prison for hurting me so I no longer have drama eithor I'm just at a point where I am tired of being single I wish someone would want to date me I am not out looking for it not desperate just lonley is all yet I am not one who does one night stands I want to find the real deal.

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