I am curious. My Girlfriend said she is not ready to kiss for many many reasons. I have agreed to be patient, but am curious how long others have waited.
How long have you waited to kiss a girl you really care/ed for?
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What Guys Said 2
my general rule-of-thumb is to expect a kiss by the end of the second date. and I don't mean a hot and heavy french kiss, just a chaste little thanks-for-the-date kiss.
if a girl is not willing to kiss by the end of the second date, I consider it a minor red flag. why? for example, I've had a few dates with 'single' girls who were actually 'on a break' with a boyfriend. they weren't looking for a boyfriend or even a fling, they wanted a free dinner and an ego boost at my expense. I see a kiss by the second date as a sign of seriousness on a girl's part.
but like all rules-of-thumb, I'd be open to bending the rules.
is she religious? I read an interesting book about how Orthodox Jews don't even touch the people they date until they're married. the idea is that sexuality clouds your mind and makes it difficult to think clearly about long-term issues . I think there's a lot of value in that kind of an outlook, even if you don't take it to the extreme of never holding hands.
was she sexually abused, leading to problems with physical intimacy? if so, be prepared for lots of potential issues. if you're not prepared to deal with those kinds of problems for years into the future (and without holding it against her), you might want to reconsider if she's long-term material ... you two might simply be in different phases of life. (incidentally if she was sexually abused, I recommend that she look into EMDR therapy, which is very well tested and very effective for treating the consequences of emotional/sexual abuse and other kinds of trauma. link )0
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