Why has he started communicating with me on the 'down low'?

Here is the story. This guy and myself both work at the same manufacturing plant but don't work directly together. I suspected that he might like me with the staring, eye contact, blushing, random conversations, etc. We would openly say hi, talk, wave, etc.

Well, I like this guy and one day I left a note in his locker and let him know. Ever since then he still waves (more so now), smiles, talks to me, etc...BUT it is now on the 'down low'. What I mean by that is now when others are around that he or I work with, he doesn't pay me any attention or only acknowledges me as a group. BUT when no one is around, or when people have their backs turned, etc...he will then wave, smile, speak to me (until someone we know walks up), etc.

So now I am confused. Does this mean he likes me back? I mean why acknowledge and wave / smile at each other on the 'down low' if your not interested in the person? It is like we have something to hide, even though we are not dating yet or anything, so there really isn't anything to hide YET.

I am also concerned because the change in his behavior was noticed by someone I work with in regard to ignoring, since that is all they see...not the side where he waves / smiles / talks when no one is around. Doesn't that sound odd? I am trying to figure out this behavior.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably likes the attention from you but has a reason to hide his feelings from others. He may be married, in a relationship or maybe he's concerned what his co-workers will think of him for liking you. Now that he knows you clearly like him, he must feel concern that he will act in a way that will give him away, so he is doing the opposite, and really trying to hide it.

    • Yeah, I think it is frowned upon in the workplace, so I could see him/us hiding a relationship from others. What I found odd is that he seems to do this and we haven't started seeing each other or anything. I guess that part is on the down low, even from me. ha ha But I definitely see your point but acting in a way that would give him away, etc.

    • Show All
    • Thanks. Makes a lot of sense. Just waiting on him to start up something worth hiding. :D

    • Thank you for Best Answer and good luck!

Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 2

  • does the company you work for have a "no dating" rule? because maybe that could be the reason he's doing that. other than that, maybe he's just kind of shy when he's around you and other people.

    • I am not sure what rules may or may not exist, as I know of a couple that was dating and ultimately got married once they both left. Some apparently knew of their relationship at the office. I am sure people date. But we are not dating....so just knowing someone likes you warrants this behavior? Granted he is a foreman so maybe he doesn't want people to see his interest is what comes to mind. He is not shy at all with others...but is around me.

    • Show All
    • That could be. He use to flirt OK before. Then once it was at a point where it seems we both like each other, that is when this 'down low' crap started. Granted if we did start seeing each other, then I expect we would not be advertising it. But we are not seeing each other, I am acting normal, while HE has changed and pretends I don't exist when other people are around. I know stuff like THAT is noticable because at jobs I have seen people do it and know what that really means.

    • It could also be that maybe when it comes to showing interest in women, he has not shown it as much publicily as others. he may feel a little uncomfortable doing that kind of thing, which many people do from time to time. could be from inexperience?

  • I posted a really good answer to a similar question on my site, girlsneedstan.com. You should check it out. Also, if you have any other questions, I answer all the emails I get from girlsneedstan.com every night. Feel free to ask me for your advice on anything guy related and I'll do my best to let you know what real guys are really thinking, but don't have the balls to say.


What Girls Said 1

  • I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but too many times guys that act this way will end up using you. What I mean by that is that if you do end up being on a friendler level with him, you may find yourself in a sticky situation where he will: kiss you, cuddle with you, talk to you, (have sex with you?), and treat you like the sun when you're alone.. but wil NOT acknowledge you as HIS around ppl. And that (I fear) would hurt you MORE; knowing that he didn't care enough to claim you in front of the world. You may be better off walking away from him..

    His behavior is that of someone who feels awkward. It could be that he doesn't see you that way, or it could also be that he's not sure of how to let you know if he's interested.

    I would suggest confronting him about it.