Recently I broke up with my girlfriend of like, a month or two or something.
Firstly, she is a nice girl, nice personality, nice body. She did nothing wrong.
However, we were hardly seeing much of each other near the end, and tbh I just wasn't feeling that spark, that chemistry between us. I basically asked her out because I was having a boring summer and I was drunk and I dunno, I figured I'd try some casual fun and see how things develop.
They didn't develop, I felt really bad I wanted to do this because I am not a player and tbh breaking up with someone I'm not that into seems harder than my previous dumps because she really hadn't done anything wrong, this was all down to me.
However, as they say, when you want out you want out, she needs to be able to know where I stand and be able to pursue other guys who WILL really like her and show her what a GOOD relationship can be like.
Part of the reason the relationship lasted as long as it did was because I hoped she would dump me, I guess partly out of guilt for having to do it to her but also because the person doing the dumping walks away feeling a bit less wounded from the whole affair. "well at least it was my choice" can help people get over this stuff.
Anyway onto my question.
Why do a girl's friends always seem to metaphorically dog-pile onto the ex guy in a break-up even though it doesn't involve you and you don't know why it happened?
I guess I can understand the knee-jerk notion of showing solidarity and trying to protect her feelings, using the logic that pulling the guy down can help build the girl up or whatever but it just seems really weak tbh.
Whatever anyone says and however the girl feels now, I did the right thing, a lie of a relationship where she thinks its going places it isn't is worse than the split. Through this whole thing I've not wanted to cause her hurt but it came down to not causing the bigger hurt. We never got terribly serious, I never said anything to make her think I felt a way I didn't yet I am the sub-human in her friends eyes.
See I wouldn't allow any of my mates to say stuff about her, and most wouldn't say sh*t anyway.
They say stuff like "Ah well man, plenty of others, that's life" etc.
Girls seem to say "Ah well he's a [censored, engage imagination]" and so on.
Why do you do it? Do you honestly think that an ex boyfriend is really that contemptible?...or is it just empty words of solidarity with your friend?
Most Helpful Girl
It's a boy bash to make us feel better. I have no idea why we do it...but we do it our whole lives. I remember when I was younger, and was mad at my "crush." My best friend insulted him in agreement with me, calling him a "buttface" (we were like 13 lol) and I got mad because "I like his face!"
The point is we do it to guys we dated, to guys our friends date, to guys we like and our frustrating us... to guys in general because we're weird creatures who somehow feel better if we're insulting someone. Maybe it's a, "oh I'll feel better about him breaking up with me if he's a loser and I didn't really want to be with him anyway." So unfortunately for the guy (and you in this case) we turn them into "losers" in our heads so we can deal with it better. Some girls and their friends carry it to more of an extreme than others, but yeah, that's basically it.
Bottom line: don't take it personally. If she's insulting you, that means she liked you and wants to make herself not like you so it doesn't hurt as much. You did the right thing but that doesn't mean it's not going to hurt, ya know?0