So let me start off by making some confessions:
I have posted numerous questions/comments etc. about "Feminism" recently. I took a real disliking to feminists and women in general honestly. I do have some beefs with some things that feminists generally stand for...but that wasn't my prime motivator. A lot of girls reply to feminist rant posts by saying "your just mad because your aren't getting any".. Well, in my case...that kinda the truth except I don't desire sex exactly...I just wish I had some affection from a girl. I'm 20 years old, never EVER had a girlfriend. I've only hugged one girl that was a semi-friend (more like a friend of friend. I still remember every detail and wrote an extensive journal entry on it. It was probably the high point of my life. )My parents are in a horrific loveless marriage, they don't love each other at all and even hate each other, they regret marrying each other, their life is miserable and wasted in their eyes. The thought of living like them is horrifying to me. I have to live at home, I have a job at a grocery store, I'm going to college to be a teacher but because of my depression I am having trouble. Since I pay tuition I must live at home. and witness the loveless, cold day to day living of my miserable parents. At a time when most other people my age are having the time of their lives I feel like I want my life to be over already. The few friends I had are off at school, and I don't see them enough. I met a girl one here I thought was amazing, but we lived far away, I started saving money to visit her, but then another guy approached her, they go out now. She was the only hope I had. So my hatred of women was resentment that I was not good enough to ever b loved by one. And I don't believe girls are stuck up, I literally believe I am just undesirable. So I vented by attacking feminism and women in general. I hated the world honestly...that fact that it showered love on other people but not me. And the fact that I used anti-feminism to try and offend people to lash out for my lack of love in my life makes me realize how messed up I am. I admit I am bitter, frustrated, pathetic, and desperate to all girls that were thinking I was just upset I couldn't get a girl, you were right. You were 100% correct. I just don't know what to do with myself. All I ever wanted was to just feel the touch of a girl, know the joy of going on a date. Most of all, I wanted to know there one person I could invest so much trust and faith in, and that I was worth something to somebody. To give someone the power to hurt you but knowing they wouldn't. I never knew that…even my parents, I mistrusted. So anyway thank you for reading this, and I'm sorry for any ill feelings I caused. Any advice is appreciated and any negative comments, I know I deserve them. Thank you.
Most Helpful Girl
It takes a lot of strength to admit this and I admire you for that. But you have to realize you are still really young. A lot of people on this site have never been in a relationship before either. You are in a tough situation. In order to find a girl, you have to find some joy in life. Nobody wants to hang out with someone that hates their life. Find something you love to do and make it a priority to do on a weekly or daily basis. Gain some confidence in yourself. Get out of your house and meet new people. The more you get out of the house, the more likely you are to meet an amazing girl. Not to mention, it seems as if you are putting girls on some sort of pedestal, if hugging a girl is the highlight of your life. Don't, we are people just like you. Join some clubs at your school. You might have to live at home, but that doesn't mean you have to spend all your time there. Hang out in the library or student union. Make friends and hang out at their places. You have to put in some effort, but you can enjoy life. Most schools have free counseling services for students. Go and talk to them about what you have been feeling lately. They should be able to help you.4
- Show AllShow Less