Is it easier to date someone who lives far away than someone who lives close to you?

i like this guy and he told me he doesn't like dating anyone who lives close to him because he needs his "alone time". he's always dated people from different schools so I don't think he's lying. I just would like to know other guys opinions on this. thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In this case of your introverted crush, you can get the best of both worlds for you two. All it will take is a little understanding from both sides. Firstly, you must understand that he gets his energy back, he's comfortable, and he enjoys his alone time. That is what defines an introvert. Socializing to him is too much like work. It's something that he's not good at and doesn't enjoy a whole lot. So that is why he prefers to be by himself more than being around others, and that is how he likes it. There is nothing wrong with him.

    But he must also understand that if he does want a relationship with you, that he's going to have to spend some time with you every once in a while. For him to do this, he'll need to gradually warm up to you and feel comfortable being around you. That's the kicker to us introverts: We seem extremely outgoing when we are with those that we are comfortable around. We will even choose to be around that kind of socializing more often than usual. And that is what he needs to make you if he is to be comfortable, he needs to become really close to you.

    One thing to note about all of this is that you can't force feelings and you can't date while you get to know him. He won't just agree to be in a relationship without first deciding it through to himself, weighing all the pros and cons. So if it turns out that he's really not that into you, he'll most likely know that before he even gets into a relationship. Just take it slow with him and don't make any sudden movements. I assume you are more extroverted? If that's the case, then socializing can be found many places for you so there's no need to force it with him. Be patient and let him take you on his own terms.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Closer is definitely easier/better.

    How much alone time does he actually need? You get alone time when you go home, presuming you don't live together.

    How old is he? If he's really young, he might feel self-conscious about having the girl he's dating in his social circle. So that's one reason for dating people from other schools. But honestly, this kind of insecurity is something that I would hope most guys outgrow long before they finish high school.

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What Girls Said 5

  • it's weird. I mean when you get home, you are alone anyway. Does he seem like a player? like dating girls from different schools so that they are most likely to never meet? Anyways it shouldn't matter and MOST people would like to date with someone who lives in their town and not interstate or really far away. He's not serious

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  • Long Distance does have its advantages. You've got more freedom and when you DO see each other it's that much more special.

    But I find it weird that he actually wants that :/ It's so much more hassle, you have to get time off work and spend ages travelling to see each other, then you just miss each other the rest of the time. I'd be suspiscious of this guy. When you really feel close to someone, alone time can be spent with them. If you get what I mean.

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  • LDRs are too much trouble.

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  • I'd choose closer :-/ there would be more of a connection.

    Maybe he is like a totally different person with the other people, like wen people pretend that they are a football playing doctor fireman professor :-)

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  • I take it to mean he doesn't want you near him because he's seeing other girls and don't want you to find out about it

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