Guys: Would you date a single mom of 3?

Hi, I'm 25 and I have 3 beautiful children ages 5, 3, and 1. I'm curious if there are men my age that aren't flaky to the point that they hear KIDS and run. I mean I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either... I'm not overweight, definitely not ugly, I take great care of myself, my kids, and my home. Some things just don't work out as well as you planned them to and maybe some people never get their 'happily ever after'. Thanks for answering and/or providing your support. I've been in a slump lately and I appreciate all your opinions -- good or bad. Have a great weekend! ;)

  • I'm a girl and I want to see the poll results.
    100% (5)0% (0)31% (5)Vote
  • Kids aren't a problem!
    0% (0)9% (1)6% (1)Vote
  • Kids -- I don't want someone else's ditched luggage.
    0% (0)73% (8)50% (8)Vote
  • Kids... Not ready.
    0% (0)18% (2)13% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I too am a single mother of 3, although my children are significantly older. I have no trouble finding dates; the biggest problem I have is keeping my dates casual...every guy I meet wants exclusivity and to rush things. Not me!

    So just focus on your children, you will meet someone. Take it slow and remember that your children need to be your priority.

    Good Luck!

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What Guys Said 7

  • Where are the kids' dad(s)? Anyways, I'd have a problem with it because you'd throw it in my face that they weren't my kids anytime we got into an argument or if I tried to discipline them in any way, even though you'd have no problem with me paying for them and taking them out to different places.

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    • Hate to say this, but, I agree.

      I've only seriously dated one man with kids and knew pretty much right off the bat that it wasn't going to work because of the above issues and his crazy ex. (All ex's are crazy ~ right? lol)

      If I got to know someone on a friend level then found romantic interest developing I might break my rule, but he'd have to be really special.

      (Want to add that I'm a single mom of one, so I get where you're coming from OP.)

    • I understand your thoughts on this matter however, I wouldn't have a problem with someone disciplining my children as long as they aren't over the top and abusive. I'd rather discipline my kids now than have to bail them out of jail later. As far as the dad goes, he doesn't spend time with them like he should and I got tired of being called a whore, ignored, and being emotionally flushed as well as staying home while he frequented bars.

    • What's over the top? Is smacking a child's hands right or wrong? IMO it's not abusive, but I don't do it and wouldn't want someone else to.

      Then you run in to someone getting on your kids for something that you don't seem to mind them doing.

      Or...it could run in the other direction and they could think you're too strict with the kids. (Which was my case, in addition to him getting irritated when I would discipline ~ even though I have babysat 1/2 the kids in my neighborhood growing up.

  • You have to date a guy that's older and willing to settle down. You can't be upset or expect guys your age to want to take on the responsibilities left behind by some dead beat dad. Don't take it personal, but single guys want to live their lives they want to as well.

    I mean there's a good chance that you'll meet a divorced guy in his mid 30's who may be willing to date you.

    Guys within the 18-28 range are not looking to settle down with someone, unless they know exactly what they want in a significant other.

    The "happily ever after" stuff doesn't exist. Fairy tales are fictional, reality is far from being a fairy tale.

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  • I'll tell you what I do to women like you: Fck them and never call again, lol

    Why would I take care of another man's mistake? Why? Who would be dumb enough to do that rofl

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  • I would date a woman with children...I would love to have a family and haven't had any luck yet :)

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  • The only thing that would keep me from dating a single mother is mostly, well, just me in general. I don't really have that much kid experience.

    One thing that would really get in the way would be my obligation to take care of them. Plus there's going to be a point in time where they misbehave and scream "You're not my dad; I don't have to listen to you!"

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  • It worked for the Brady Bunch. I'm sure you'll find someone, but you probably won't find anyone in their 20s willing to take on 3 kids all of a sudden. I have an aunt that had a couple of kids, got a divorce, and found someone willing to get into a relationship with her. Just stay positive.

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  • Honestly, no. You're young and already 3 deep into parenthood. I think whatever your issue is with the Dad(s) needs to be sorted out and fixed. I'm not saying you are but I know women are quick to go and blame the guy for everything and say he's a dirtbag, deadbeat, whatever even though he's doing everything in his power to keep everyone happy. Sometimes you need to take a good look in the mirror because the reflection you see is the real problem.

    Just my extremely inflated and experienced 2 cents.

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    • All three are of the same father. To address the rest: I honestly believe I'm not the problem here or the one that needs "fixing". Their father has thrown things at me - numerous times, shoved me off of a bed, called me a whore, and left me at home while he has a great time going to bars. I've been told that he doesn't love me and that he signed up for a year tour in Afghanistan just to get away from me. I don't get it. I stay home, I cook, I clean, and I tend to our children. He gets attention

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    • The fact that you're twisting my words definitely makes me believe you're the type of woman I mention in my original response. That's not a stereotype and I didn't accuse--I defended. As a guy I'm going to go ahead and call bullsh*t on the "if he'd asked for those sexual things" because I know he did, why wouldn't he? You don't know if his intent was to hurt you... sounds like an accident. So, once again, I never said let him talk to you like garbage, have sex in pain, or shove you around.

    • OP, if the things you say are true (which they probably are) then you should NOT stay with any man who treats you like that. If not for yourself, for your children. It will only teach the boy(s) to do the same and the girls(s) to allow it.

      However, it usually takes two to tango, so if even in a small way you probably own some responsibility to the downfall of the marriage. You were young when you had the first and with 3 kids in 4 years there's bound to be strain on a marriage, any marriage.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't worry about dating right now. Your children are very young and you're now a single mom. In addition, your kids are going through a rough time right now with their parents splitting up. Spend what time you have with them, with them. Guys, dating, concerts, and dinners will be there when they're older.

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