Terrible experience with guys, what to do?

I have never had a boyfriend before and I'm almost 20. Everyone always just assumes I have a boyfriends, especially other guys, because there's really no reason why I don't. I'm good looking, nice, friendly, outgoing, perky, and all around a great girl. I use to be more confident when it came to guys but now I try to stay my best away from them, especially when it comes to any sort of emotional involvement. I get numbers and flirted with often, but none of them are ever serious. I know. I'm very picky about who I'm with and I don't go for just anyone, and I'm not easy. But no matter what I do every time I'm with someone they end up ditching me for another girl. It's happened so many time's they practically have an expiration date, and their guaranteed to find their true love within 6 months.

I just don't understand how it's so easy for guys to just change their mind about someone so fast. To be so caring and intimate and seem so serious, take you out to dinner, and stay the night, talk all the time, and hang out...and then all of a sudden...NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN, I have a girlfriend now. Sorry it's not your fault. I never liked you to begin with.

It's just crazy! Why do you guys do this? It's absolutely heart breaking, and I can't take it anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. And the scary thing is they don't care about what they did to you, no regret, no nothing. Like I never existed to them. I didn't matter.

How am I suppose to know if their jerks or not. I've tried going for the nice, decent guys, who seem different than the typical, and they aren't any different. It's like I'm just not girlfriend material..whatever girlfriend material is to you guys. I can't figure it out. And after so many bad experiences, so many heartbreaks, I feel like the next guy I give a chance, I'll ruin it because at this point I don't trust guys. And I know now not to believe them when they say I'm their girlfriend and they aren't seeing anyone else, and they care. I know I'll scare them all off now. They don't want to deal with my issues.

So because I want to know. How many of you guys have ever done this to a girl before. I'm sure it happens all the time. Do I stand a chance at finding the right guy being as insecure as I now am?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Unfortunately, if things become a pattern, it typically means it's you that's causing it. Do you notice anything in common with all the guys? Do they say the same things? Do you meet them at the same place? Do you become too clingy? Too distant?

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    • I know, and I've tried to figure out how I screw it up. I was a little clingy and then I tried not being clingy (which was harder than I thought), I use to text a lot and chat too much, so I tried not texting unless they texted me and not talking all that much, I tried staying out of their business, I give them space, their all around the same age(21-23) , and I don't meet them in the same place, but they are all usually in college...which I guss is sort of the same place.

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    • I guess so. I'm friendly to everyone and I have a lot of guy friends. But I'm loyal to only one...and apparently so loyal I'll stay with them even while their screwing around with other girls behind my back and don't have the guts to tell me when I ask about it. And I'm not really the type to party, except every now and then when my friends talk me into going with them, I don't have time really. So idk...I've even tried going for a guy I normally wouldn't go for...

    • The lots of guy friends may do it. I had no problem with it until I found out she was screwing a couple of them, then I wised up a little bit. However, I think that you'd notice if it was the guy friends that caused this. You'd get the jealousy vibe pretty hardcore. It sounds like you're just having bad luck. Keep trying and I bet someone will stick around after the 6 month mark. It took me 5 tries to get a girl to stay beyond 2 weeks.

  • If guys are bailing on you after 6 months what are their reasons? Are the two of you having sex on a regular basis or just friends? Are you waiting for them to make a certain move or cross a certain line, or do they just drift away regardless?

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