What reasons might a man have for dating an obese woman?

My friend Dal weighs 250 pounds. is really stingy (both her and her fiance and unemployed right now and she makes me pay for EVERYTHING when we go out) and she's dating a wonderful man with really good morals, who loves her, drives 800 miles to see her three times a year, and is always jealous that another man will take him away from her. Her boyfriend is also exceptionally good looking. and treats her like a goddess. They are both 19 years old and she is getting married to him in 6 months.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He must really love her and I don't think he has to have a reason to. Proves to show that there is someone for everyone, so just be yourself.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Some men date women that they think other men might not want (obese, facially ugly, or otherwise undesireable for whatever reason) because these men have low self-esteem themselves. Low self-esteem could lead to a couple different reasons for dating someone obese.

    One is that they might be jealous (and in this guy's case, it sounds like he is) because he is insecure about himself. Maybe he's been cheated on before and doesn't like the prospect of dating someone "desireable", so he dates someone others might not find attractive. As in this person's case, that's not always the result.

    Another is that because this person has a low self-esteem, they think they can't get a woman who they consider desireable or ideal. Now in this case, that can bleed over past the way a woman looks into her personality. A man might date a woman who is domineering when what he really wants is a woman that will let him lead in the relationship. Or he'll go for someone that's timid and shy when he really wants a woman that is more outspoken and the life of the party. Many men -- and women -- will settle for less than what they think they can have in a mate or spouse if their self-esteem is not where it should be.

    My wife is overweight, but I know that she is the best woman for me. There are traits of hers that I wish were different, but I certainly don't feel that I settled when I decided to marry her. That, and she is absolutely beautiful and gets compliments all the time from strangers. It kind of weirds her out, but she just happened to be the woman that I fell head over heels in love with and knew from our very first conversation, that she would be the one for me. Yeah, sometimes it happens like that.

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  • Honestly, scarcity mentality comes to mind, probably coupled with low self-esteem. He probably won't be receptive, but I think he should listen to this. Hell, every man should listen as far as I'm concerned.

    Scroll down to Bonus Ep 3:

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    And none of this takes into consideration my thoughts on how stupid they are for getting married at such a young age. Again, this is also touched on in the podcast.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It could be that he sees something in her you don't. What does weight have anything to do with it? It's his preferance. Now, why would you allow her to treat you like that and make you pay for everything? I would stop going out with her if she tries to get you to pay for it. Maybe she treats him differently what she does you.

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  • "Obese" people do have feelings as anyone else does you know. There is nothing wrong with someone finding them "dateable" It's just this mentality that people have about "obese" people just are for being good friends. Majority of the time these "obese" people have a way better personality than that of other person, people would classify as "dateable" There really isn't any specific reason for dating someone "obese" they dating them because they care for them , they love them and they can see past the physical appearance (and majority of the time these "obese" people are a lot prettier than some of the other women) and just concentrate on their personality which they have.

    People need to get past this immature behaviour and grown up!

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  • Maybe he thinks he can't do better. I'm sorry this offends anyone, but that's what I seriously believe.

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  • I'm guessing he's known he for a while, and he loves her. We as outsiders might not be able to see why, but he knows why. There is something really special about her to him.

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