Why is he sending me these mixed messages? What's with the blow hot blow cold deal?

I had a question about this guy I am interested in at work and vica versa.

We have been flirting with each other for 3 weeks now. He was very pro active about it, looking for ways to strike up a conversation with me and all that jazz.

Last Friday he invited me out for a get together after work, kind of happy hour situation where other people from work would also be there.

He was there before me and when I arrived, I went and stood at the table next to him, where he was with other people. 10 minutes into the conversation, we find out that we would both be at this Halloween event the following evening, and he gets pretty excited about that. Yet, shortly after this he decides to position himself from across the table from me and starts talking to me from there.

I was a little confused by his action, ...but was like okay, not really sure what that was about. Anyways, he asked me for my number before I left for the evening and I gave it to him.

The following evening once he arrived at the party, he texts me asking if I was there. Also called me a couple of times. I texted him back saying that me and my girlfriend were on my way over there. So he tells me where to find him and his friends. I arrive and we talk for 5-10 minutes and then he says to me- lets go get you a drink.

So he, his friend and myself walk to the bar. Was an open bar, so I got my drink and when I turn around, I see that he was talking to one of his college friends who he had run into. She says she had to show him something and he sort of follows her. That was that and his friend and I walk back to my girlfriend in the meantime.

The entire party I did not hear from him or see him- yet shortly before the party was supposed to end he shows up and starts talking with me like nothing happened. I was a little upset with his behavior but was polite and cool about it, talked to him for a bit, but then turned to my girlfriend and her friends and started talking with them, sending him a message of sorts.

The following day, I run into him at work and he is his usual flirty self with me, like he is very interested, all over again. And mind you, this is not how he behaves with all girls.

My question to you is- why is he sending me these mixed messages? I mean either you are interested or you are not- what's with this whole blow hot, blow cold deal.

I don't have patience for these mind games, and have decided to pull back a little, not that I ever went out of my way to begin with. It was him pursuing me from the start. So I am nice to him, respond to his conversations and attempts to flirt, in a nice, yet, I am not sure where you are going with this kind of way.

Any advice on how I should handle this and what he is trying to do/say?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that he wants to play it cool.

    If you don't want to fall into his games, better find a new guy.

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