This girl and I have been dating for around 3 months. We hit it off very well and I felt we had a real connection. She did confess she wanted to go slow because she has been in some messy relationships in the past, but I just found out yesterday (when she broke up with me), that I was going too fast.
By fast, this was in relation to terms of endearment and calling her my girl. I only said this to her, my close friends only knew "I was interested' in her. She said that she felt panicked and confused, which eventually lead her to not want a relationship. She said she still likes me, several times at that, but said she was not ready.
When I asked her what she wanted to do, after proposing a complete break up or if she needed time/space, she opted for complete and asked if we could still be friends. I haven't responded to that yet because I was so devastated by the sudden news.
She broke up with me over instant messaging. I have written an e-mail telling her how I felt and if she would take a second chance and will send in in 3-4 days after I give her time/space and I think this through.
What do you guys suggest I do? This was my first relationship (personal reasons) and I felt an extremely awesome vibe from her, one beyond crushes or whatnot. Please help!
Most Helpful Girl
Often when a girl panics because she thinks the guy is getting to serious too fast, the best thing to do is to be friends. If the emotions are still there, then she may decide in her own time to give it another shot but only time will tell. I've been in her position before where someone moved faster than I was comfortable with and I panicked. In my experience, the more the guy pushed the farther I ran and eventually the feelings were destroyed by the pressure. Give her time, be friends, and don't push a relationship if you really like her. If she's going to change her mind she'll probably only do so after you've really given her space to sort through her commitment issues. I would recommend not sending the email. It will only cause her to panic more probably. Hold onto it and if in the future she hints that she wants to get back together, address it then. Don't expect anything, though. It may be hard, but you have to be open to the possibility that she just can't commit and won't be able to for quite a long time. She may not be the person for you.1
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