I don't feel like I can tell him no...

Lately my body has been going crazy. I went almost a year without a period and I was miserable. vomiting, cramping, sleeping all the time. miserable. and throughout this hormonal roller coaster ride sex was the last thing on my mind. My boyfriend drove me crazy.

I understand that he's horny but when I'm about to burst in to tears with cramps or vomit I don't think I should have to say no 100 times to get the message across. He just says please until I rip my hair out or just let him do it. I remember once I was unbearably exhausted and after being turned down for an hour he just bent me over and did it anyway. In every other way he's a really sweet guy but I'm starting to feel like I don't have any say in what happens to my body. I got to where id ask him if he realized that I was only letting him so he wouldn't drive me crazy and that I really didn't want him to and he'd say yes and that he's sorry and go ahead with it. I don't even feel like I should bother saying no at this point he'll do what he wants anyway. I finally got my period back but now I won't quit bleeding and even though I'm feeling slightly better I'm so hurt at my bfs disregard for my feelings that I don't even want him to touch me. Lately he hasn't been trying to sleep with me as much because his parents have been keeping a closer eye on us and my birth control hasn't kicked in.

He's still constantly trying to shove his hands down my pants against my will though so I know that he's going to start making me have sex with him again when my pills kick in. If he would show me a little respect and give me some time I would get over it. When I try to talk to him about it he apologizes and says he can't help it. but I think that's an excuse. what should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should dump this guy immediately! If he is having sex with you against your will, he is basically raping you! This is also psychological rape! This guy is out of control! You need to get rid of him right away because he doesn't care about your feelings, your body or you but only about sex! This guy doesn't love you - he only wants to f*ck you! You need to learn the difference between love and lust. He is only lusting after your body - this is evidenced by his having sex with you when you tell him no. Also, you are not telling him no strongly enough! This is not his body! This is your body! You need to say "NO!" to him once and for all! You are allowing this guy to rape you over and over again basically. That is psychologically damaging for you. I think that if you are not able to say no to him, that you need to dump him, because he evidently is not able to say no to his own body. Child molesters and rapists do the exact same things. They look for weak-willed women/children to force themselves on because they know the person does not have the strength to say no! You need to get this guy out of your life immediately! Don't wait another minute/day/hour to make the decision to get him out of your life. You're going to end up hating him and yourself if you don't! In fact, you may have already started hating him, but the truth is that you're going to start hating yourself more, because you are allowing him to do this to you! If you can't seem to get him out of your life, go to your parents or someone you can trust for help. Do not answer his phone calls or let him in the house. This is a rapist! Do not let a rapist in your house! Do not let this rapist have sex with you anymore! You are allowing yourself to be raped over and over again! Do you understand this? I hope you truly get the magnitude of the situation and decide to get this guy out of your life! Also, you may want to seek counseling in order to find out why you would allow this guy to rape you repeatedly and for the psychological damage that might be coming from what you are allowing in your life! I hope you will heed this advice! This is a serious matter!


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What Guys Said 3

  • Break up with him. He's using you, he's abusing you, he's completely disregarding your feelings and words.

    You do know what he's been doing would be considered rape? You told him no, and he did it anyways. He sounds terrible. I don't know why your body went crazy, but it sounded pretty serious, and to think he wasn't there with you to support you is beyond me.

    The man is a fiend. End it now. That's the easiest way to say no.

  • OMG! Are you crazy? Why are you staying with a guy like that and letting him continue to have sex with you against your will? That is called rape! Girl, you need to get out of that relationship immediately before he does something even worse to you! Also, you should tell your parents or someone in authority who can help keep him away from you. Don't even let this guy near you. He is a rapist!

  • Having sex against your will? Erm.thats rape right? This dude has no respect for you whatsoever. I'd say leave him right now but that's unrealistic and easier said than done.

    You should speak to him and tell him that your sex life is on your terms and not his.If he doesn't understand that.He's not for you.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's totally normal for a guy to want sex and ask for it. It's not normal for a guy to have sex with you after you've said no. For him to do that is just awful. That's either rape, or pretty damn close to it. You should break up with him. This guy isn't going to change for the better, and he might even get worse. He clearly feels that he's entitled to your body whenever he feels like it. There is no reforming someone like that. Just get away as fast as you can.