After the break-up, when I think about dating, I feel like I want to throw up.

Am I the only one that feels that or are there others (guys and girls)? (I just want to know if I'm being too sensitive). It really wasn't a good relationship experience.

There are just some people who can recover so fast and I wish I could do that, too. I hate hurting.

(Just a yes/no question and if you want to share, that's cool :) )


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I felt the same way too. But that was because I had 2 "relationships" back-to-back and they both ended for the same reason, leaving me really hurt.

    Both guys pretty much led me on, saying that "we'll see what happens. Maybe a relationship will form". Only thing was that they had no intention of forming a relationship with me. The first one only wanted me for sex. I dropped him and got over him quickly.

    The second one treated me like I was his girlfriend and I felt like we were a couple. But he wouldn't put a label on it because he didn't wanna move too quickly. So I waited and it turned out the reason why he didn't want to put a label on it was because he was going to move abroad within the next year. I got rid of him too, but this one hurt a lot more.

    I was really turned off from dating, but I'm starting to get over it. Part of me wants to find someone new, but part of me says I'm still not over my ex and that I shouldn't date for the rest of this year. But I think harmless flirting would be important for the recovery period. Just flirt with random strangers - it'll get your mind off the hurt and move you closer to recovery.

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What Guys Said 2

  • With me I can recover fast. You have to try to keep your love and emotions locked down. Because if not it could effect how you feel think and act. But everybody is different and everybody isn't like me. It will take time. Just use this experience as a learning experience. don't let the break up get you down. How did you guys break up?

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    • I'm ashamed to share it as I think other people have gone through much worse. It was a year-long relationship. He suddenly couldn't meet up anymore, after all we've been through. I tried to take the hint and back off. But he kept emailing me like nothing wrong was happening. and that kept going on for two months. I tried to ask him what was up but he avoided it (in person, in email, over the phone). So I cut it off. and that was it. I know it's not much at all: I should just move on.

    • Show All
    • Thanks. Good advice.

    • You are very welcome. And good luck with everything.

  • I get what you are saying. And just want to show that this can also happen to guys...

    Wich I think is one of the reason guys (including me) are afraid of commitment.

    or getting close emotionally to someone.

    I went out with my first summer love (almost like the notebook. yeah chessy I know lol) I left her, then One year after she was back in my life. She was not exactly the same... and me either...

    I was ready to go on with my life with her... Aand stop being player and want to become a good person. Then she left me... And it just wanna make me troat up...

    love was bullsh*t... but I stay friend with her.

    In the beginning (after break-up) even when there was others girls interested in me I would just be cold and break all rapport wth them or simply put her in friend zone. Almost like reflex when you are about to get burn near a fire to not get hurt again...And I didn't even understood my behavior...(Why am I so cold with them when they are showing me love...?)

    Anyway, Now I'm fine :) one thing I can advice is...

    1. don't mix your egg in the same basket(not everybody is the same) and it will never be like your ex. it can be better or worst but it won't be the same :)

    so never compare your new date to your ex or past events. Don't see the pain or joy in someone eyes you don't know... Each love story will be different.

    2. Change your mind of the break up and go out meet some new people that will in one way or another make you grow as a person.

    Hope that help :)

    Good luck

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What Girls Said 1

  • No.

    When you break up, the attachment is still there. I usually hang out with friends a lot or focus on work. It usually helps. During this time I miss him a lot and think I can never find a guy better than him. But with time this feeling fades and I slowly realize that there are better guys out there.

    It took me 8 months to find a new guy after my terrible break up. And I still think about him sometimes, not in a good way but about how much he hurt me and how stupid I was to bear with him. But I am happy now.

    Basically, it takes time.

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