Would you date someone missing a limb/limbs?

There's this girl at the college I go to and she's pretty cute but she's missing an arm and a leg

How do you approach someone like that without offending them? And would it be different than dating someone with both arms and legs?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would approach them the same way I would approach any one else. Strike up a conversation, be friendly, get to know her a bit and ask her out on a date. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if she's a little cautious in the dating world. People who are visibly "different" usually realize from a fairly young age that people can be cruel, so sometimes they may feel suspicious about people's intentions until they gain their trust (this isn't true of all people, but definitely some).

    Dating will likely be pretty much the same---but she may be limited in doing certain things, or have to come up with creative ways to do them. Like, if you normally like taking a girl out bowling on a date, she might not be able to bowl (or maybe she would be, I don't really know what her limitations might be), or if she's in a wheelchair (you didn't say, but I'm assuming she's either is in a wheelchair or has a prosthetic leg), she might have to plan ahead as far as doing certain things (i.e. not all places are wheelchair accessible, so she may have to choose a restaurant that is). That said, she's probably very familiar with navigating the world as a differently-abled person, so you could probably just say, "Where would you like to go?" when you ask her out until you get to know her better and see if there's things that she's limited in doing.

    Also consider that she's probably used to getting "looks" from people, but you might not be. Seeing other people look or treat her differently might make you embarrassed, angry, annoyed, etc. I don't think most people do it on purpose, however, they're just not sure how to act.

    I think too, a lot of people who are physically different want to be treated just like everyone else, but on the other hand, realize that they're not just like everyone else. So it's kind of about finding a balance between not treating her differently than you would any other woman, but not acting like there's nothing different at all. I mean, I'm sure that a lot of people have different opinions about how they wish people would treat them, but I work with a lot of differently-abled people (I'm a nurse) and a patient once said to me, "I know that I'm different---some people stare and others won't even make eye contact, sometimes its because they're afraid of me, feel sorry for me, or are worried that they're going to offend me if they look at me---it's okay to look at me; and if you're going to stare, at least smile. I don't mind if people ask me questions, it's normal to be curious, and I'd rather people ask me than to make assumptions about why I am the way I am." I think that I would feel the same way. I guess I say that to say: Don't make the fact that she's different a huge deal, but don't feel like you have to completely avoid asking her questions. If you do say something about it or ask her a question, pay attention to her cues to see how comfortable she is to talk about it.

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    • She wears a prosthetic

    • Show All
    • And reading that article, it sounds like she has a Transfemoral Prosthesis. Poor girl.. I've noticed that she goes down steps one at a time but I didn't know it was that hard for her

    • Well, during hard times, you find out who your real friends are (sometimes people lose friends), and sometimes its hard to make friends when you have something that makes you physically different (people might be afraid to approach you or make assumptions about you... or are just plain superficial).

      I wouldn't make any assumptions about her or what happened to her or what she can and can't do without getting to know her and finding out her story directly from her.

What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly think if someone really likes her, they will look past that. Also, in order to approach them without offending, strike up an ordinary conversation. Then take the conversation and ask her how she became the way she is, or if she was born that way, I am sure she wouldn't mind telling you, but be sure the question is asked in a nice, serious manner.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not quite the same, but I dated a deaf girl in college. If you are wondering about the technicalities of dating a handicap person, of course you'll have to make occasional accomidations. Just don't make a big deal of it is all. Show her that it doesn't bother you. People just want to be treated with respect and dignity, handicap or no.

    However, If you are wondering it you personally can deal with it then you'll just have to ask her out and find out yourself. I encourage you to. I was just thinking the other day how focusing on someone's physical appearance is akin to looking at only a single part of a mural or line from a song. Only by taking in the whole thing can you realize their true beauty.

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    • How did you date a deaf girl? Like how was it different or what accommodations did you have to make?

  • probably one leg is ok

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  • Captain Hook had to kidnap people in order get his way. I don't suggest that, but I'd suggest you open your ears and listen. See what her story is.

    People are judgmental of others WITH arms and legs, anyway...so don't worry about what others think. If you like her, go for it.

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  • If I was attracted to them, although I'm not bothered about dating anyone tbh.

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