There's this girl at the college I go to and she's pretty cute but she's missing an arm and a leg
How do you approach someone like that without offending them? And would it be different than dating someone with both arms and legs?
Most Helpful Girl
I would approach them the same way I would approach any one else. Strike up a conversation, be friendly, get to know her a bit and ask her out on a date. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if she's a little cautious in the dating world. People who are visibly "different" usually realize from a fairly young age that people can be cruel, so sometimes they may feel suspicious about people's intentions until they gain their trust (this isn't true of all people, but definitely some).
Dating will likely be pretty much the same---but she may be limited in doing certain things, or have to come up with creative ways to do them. Like, if you normally like taking a girl out bowling on a date, she might not be able to bowl (or maybe she would be, I don't really know what her limitations might be), or if she's in a wheelchair (you didn't say, but I'm assuming she's either is in a wheelchair or has a prosthetic leg), she might have to plan ahead as far as doing certain things (i.e. not all places are wheelchair accessible, so she may have to choose a restaurant that is). That said, she's probably very familiar with navigating the world as a differently-abled person, so you could probably just say, "Where would you like to go?" when you ask her out until you get to know her better and see if there's things that she's limited in doing.
Also consider that she's probably used to getting "looks" from people, but you might not be. Seeing other people look or treat her differently might make you embarrassed, angry, annoyed, etc. I don't think most people do it on purpose, however, they're just not sure how to act.
I think too, a lot of people who are physically different want to be treated just like everyone else, but on the other hand, realize that they're not just like everyone else. So it's kind of about finding a balance between not treating her differently than you would any other woman, but not acting like there's nothing different at all. I mean, I'm sure that a lot of people have different opinions about how they wish people would treat them, but I work with a lot of differently-abled people (I'm a nurse) and a patient once said to me, "I know that I'm different---some people stare and others won't even make eye contact, sometimes its because they're afraid of me, feel sorry for me, or are worried that they're going to offend me if they look at me---it's okay to look at me; and if you're going to stare, at least smile. I don't mind if people ask me questions, it's normal to be curious, and I'd rather people ask me than to make assumptions about why I am the way I am." I think that I would feel the same way. I guess I say that to say: Don't make the fact that she's different a huge deal, but don't feel like you have to completely avoid asking her questions. If you do say something about it or ask her a question, pay attention to her cues to see how comfortable she is to talk about it.0
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