How to deal when he's chosen another girl over you?

Just some pretext: the very first time he met me, he said these exact words "You're really intimidating to a guy like me" and he said he had to get a little buzzed even to admit that. (My mother tells me THAT'S when I shoud've run. Hindsight is always 20/20)

Our entire "dating" period consisted of him talking to me one week, ignoring me the other. Breaking me down, then building me up. All the while he was as arrogant as they come one day, and sweet as a button the other. Very back and forth, very jarring and hurtful.

Now he's on to another girl (I had to find out in a really bad way) after he ignored me for about...3 weeks straight. I've seen this girl, and she's much less attractive, a little pudgy, and a little on the "I put out" side. We're in college, so fine, maybe he wants to bone her, and maybe she'll go through the same thing I did.

But do you think I was dropped because he found me intimidating, so he found a girl more on his level? There were clues along the way that I'm just picking up NOW, that he may have felt less than, and so he broke me down (said nit-picky things about me), and was extra arrogant at times. Like one time he was bragging a lot about his grades, and when I asked why, he literally replied "because I know they're better than yours"

-_- I guess he needed to feel smarter than me?

I go between being sad and rejected, to being COMPLETELY angry at him. And it's insulting to be dropped for a girl who has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm talented (he never came to any of my performances, once again, another clue that he felt less than--he wouldn't be able to handle me getting all the attention).

What gives? I'm so sick of being upset over this loser.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I;m a senior in college and I'm almost in your exact situation, except there isn't another girl in the picture. My guess is that he was intimidated by you, or maybe you made yourself too available at first and he had to chase the other girl a little bit more. Regardless, he is OBVIOUSLY someone your glad it didn't work out with. Rejection is always difficult to deal with, but the easiest way is to date other guys, keep confident and put together. Once he sees other guys flocking to you that are nicer, more secure, and cuter, he will be jealous and want you back. Then you can enjoy the sweet revenge of relaying to him that your no longer interested.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Then stop being upset over it. And I mean that in the most supportive way possible. I was in a similar "relationship" for over 2 years (yikes!). I got pissy and angry and cried a lot because it hurt, but then I just said one day "Okay, enough is enough. He's a jackass and he'll either realize it or he won't. Either way, I don't want him and I can do so much better" and that's all you need to do :3 Walk with a little more spring in your step and swing in your hips, know you look beautiful, and smile A LOT! Everything will be fine, we waste too much energy on losers as it is. <3

  • ever thought guy is insecure and well most boys are and he sees his validation there and also not afraid that she will be 'stolen' by another guy (wife qualities how boys choose wifes ;-) )

    i know it hurts eventually you will move on and them you bump into him and ull see he ain't growing right way and meantime concentrate on you :)

  • that is so like guys, they can't handle a girl that is superior than them, they try every thing to bring them down so there in the same level. If your prettier, smarter tec, than him that might be a reason he left with annother girl, Guys don't like girls that are better than them they feel unsuperior

  • How do you know that girl has no redeeming qualities? Do you know her? All you've said about her is bad things about the way she looks, and judging her on her looks when you don't know her. Yea you're feeling rejected, but that's no need to be mean about a girl who probably doesn't know you exist. She could be the funniest, nicest girl, and you would never know. Maybe because you're so ' beautiful, smart, and talented' you should find someone better, and just accept you were too much for this guy to handle. And stop bad mouthing other girls, she got him, you didn't, she's clearly better in some way. But just a hint, is it possible that you were the arrogant one? Because that is what I'm getting from the way you talk about yourself..

    • you just said exactly what I was going to say.

      but I think I would have tried to be nicer about it.

      well said though:)