Is there a point where girls finally decide to mature up and date good/handsome guys?

I have a theory that EVENTUALLY girls eventually mature up and date a good and handsome guy.

My theory is that girls go many guys using them. Then they at some point get sick of the nonsense and any type of abuse they receive. The lady or ladies then meet a guy that they would NORMALLY not give a chance to, because they don't consider the guy the alpha male or super cute/hot. But that one fateful night, they give the guy a chance!

So what does it take for a girl to mature up, stop dating losers, players abusers and deadbeats?

Here is my theory! Maybe being used up by 3 losers, 2 players, 1 deadbeat and then crying alone for exactly two weeks!

Obviously, this is not a serious guess, but I am wondering ladies, do you EVER decide to meet someone who you know will make you happy and stop wasting your life with losers?

My serious guess is either the age of 28, or before that, after a guy has been used up for a very long time!

I wish I was a matchmaker or something. Guys and girls create so much dating nonsense!

Updates:
"girls just like to have fun"

when do girls become woman?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I never deliberately dated an ass. Ever since I first started dating I've been on the look out for my perfect guy and some of the guys I met along the way were complete wastes and some not right for me...I've never been on the hunt for an alpha male just someone who understands me. I'm 25 now, after my ex I gave up dating for 5 years because I thought most guys were just not nice until destiny had my man walk into my life...women are different to men, most of us secretly want to meet the perfect guy and settle, obviously not all women, but a lot of us do and also a lot of girls don't really go out with a guy genuinely knowing he's a loser or not right, some hope they will eventually become the right guy having met them. I think from bad experiences, womens intuition and judgement of men improve, so rather than I guess it being a case of becoming mature, I think its more of a case of choosing better partners...like some women are naturally good at picking out guys ideal for them, some learn through experience and others never really learn and continue to date losers.

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    • can somebody get this girl a medal or something?

What Girls Said 25

  • Lack of maturity applies to both guys and girls. Some people grew out of it, but sadly, even at an older age, some people are still stuck to it. Yes most girls will mature through past experiences (timeline for this is enormously varies), some mature earlier enough to think things seriously and rationally, but some may take forever. For example not trying to suggest anything, I'm 21 and I've always been serious when it comes to finding potential partners.

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  • well I agree, girls do waste their time with losers, players, deadbeats, and all that sh*t. I know I did. but I'm waaaay younger than 28 and I've found that guy that's nice to me and I can respect and be respected by. it isn't that hard. it just means that you have to take the time to find that guy because usually getting with a guy isn't about finding that guy, its about being in a relationship and even when women say that they think "hes the one" and theyre gonna try it, they just want to get in a relationship. I did that a lot of my friends did many adults do it you know you do people. I'm in skool still I found that guy its not that hard. we just don't always want to take the time to go deep and do that.

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  • Most of the time women in their early twenties are looking to have lots of fun. That includes getting drunk, hooking up with guys, one night stands, and so on. Honestly I think this is the most prominent freshman year of college. After that it continues for a while and then by the time they are over halfway through their twenties they finally are full on the meaningless hook-ups and they go for something more serious.

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    • So how do the young freshman type girls choose the guys?

      Biggest and loudest obnoxious cute guy they can find?

    • guys who are confident enough to approach them mostly. Often times they end up being the cocky obnoxious and hot ones. But it makes sense that the hot guys are the ones approaching the girls, and girls don't really want to have to make the first move, they like a guy that can do it himself. but if you are a shy guy, don't loose hope because you can still hook up but you are more likely to make some really good friends that are girls that you most likely will date further down the road.

  • i don't think she's going for what she usually wouldnt...its just she finally figures out what different guys are like. like she sees what kinda men are out there after dating for a while and then goes and finds a good one because she finally has the judgement for that. you have to kiss some frogs to find your prince as they say.

    it could also just be meeting that good guy that changes your mind tho. I don't think womens taste ever changes really it just becomes more refined so out of the guys she is attracted to, she knows how to pick better! so she throws the douchebags out of the running of the guys she's already attracted to

    i know there's a common notion that women are "attracted" to people who resemble abuse or neglect in their past...but most of us just don't have enough experience to really know who from who. after being with a few dumb guys we figure it out

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  • I'm pretty much at this point now. I had an amazing boyfriend, but we broke up so I started to date again. Since then, I have dated nothing but jerks and complete a-holes. I think a girl reaches her breaking point when she can finally sort out does she want the hot badboy or the sweet genuine guy? I think this is why you see beautiful women with not so beautiful guys, she's basically be used and abused and finally a guy came along and swept her off her feet, but this is just a theory.

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    • what age range are you at, or did you realize you needed to make this change?

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    • I would say yes. I think girls naturally want the more attractive guy, but we've been jaded so much that we begin to believe there is no way a genuine successful cute guy is really a decent guy. Although my ex was handsome, I still wasn't attracted to him like I have been to d-bags. Maybe some of it is that its a bit of a challenge, turning that jerk into a pleasant guy? Or maybe girls become so desperate, they are willing to put aside their emotions and pride just to have SOMEONE in their life

    • i think girls find excitement in d-bags. Then also I think they do want to see if they can "tame them"

      it is all very ridiculous.

  • It depends on the girl. I personally like good guys & try to find them. But there are some women who like bad boys, & they may never change. Some do, but many don't because they are attracted to the wrong men for psychological reasons. For example, a woman who had no father may go after men who can't committ because the woman tries to date a man like her dad. Her father left her, so she subconsciously looks for men who will leave her. I think most ladies go for men that are like their dads, & that is probably why I have such good taste. My dad is a great guy & my hero. So, I naturally want a guy is a great person, on the inside.

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  • I'm going to disagree with your theory. It may be the case for some women, but I think some people never change. I personally always went for the good guys, & have never changed that. I recognized how bad boys hurt people & decided not to go there. But my sister always went for bad boys, & is still doing so today. She is over 30 & is not stuck with a jerk who has 6 children with another woman. I think many woman are attracted to bad boys because they don't think they deserve love or they had a bad relationship with their father. My dad was a really good guy, so I decided when I was 14, I was going to marry someone who is good person, like my dad is.

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    • 6th sentence is supposed to say: She is over 30 & is "now" stuck with a jerk...

  • Girls have this thing of I am going to help him and he will change and love me forever dellusional bs. And its not an age thing. There are some level headed girls out there. I was single 2 years before I got with my boyfriend but most girls can't leave there bed cold that long. So they hook up with the first guy that says they will be there for them. Sad but true.

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    • I want to know if there are any attractive level headed girls!

  • No. Girls never follow "good" (weak) guys. We want real men, with balls! Guys who are decisive, guys who are mean if they have to be, guys who can take charge and tell us when we're being foolish. We don't want no wishy-washy goody-goodies who cower to our demands! *They're the ones who are losers, not the strong guys! They may abuse us sometimes, but at least we know where we stand with them.

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    • just because a guy is a good guy does not mean he is a pushover. Strong guys may be over compensating for something.

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    • Again, I want to reflect on that this girl thinks that good guys are weak guys.

      You know that a man who wings the "strongest man in the world" competition could be the nicest and sweetest guy in the world.

      Thus proving you being a complete idiot.

      But, we don't know if he is.

      What I do know, is that your logic will likely leave you unhappy as well as beaten.

      Maybe you like big guys that can hit hard?

      ;-)

    • You need to think about what you are saying! Listen to yourself!, "Girls never follow "good" (weak) guys. We want real men, with balls!" You are claiming that being "good" is being weak. It seems like the classical case of taking kindness for weakness. If you really believe that "good" is the same as weak, then you are not dealing with reality! Where did you get such an insane idea?

  • me, personally, went through one player and am lookin for a more ... practical guy. btw... I'm only 13 and I'm considered mature by you as far as I can tell. but the reason girls do that is because they don't want rejection, and they hate being single. that's pritty much it. but I've bin single for a year, and honestly, can't find any mature GUYS! so its not just girls.

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  • There are girls who do, there are girls who never do. And then there are those who've never been interested in jackasses. Haha

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  • All girls are different, and at some point, everyones expectations for something fall short. I never looked for losers but I ended up with the occainsional loser or 2 until I found my fiance. You got to kiss a loot of frogs before you find a prince!

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    • i think that girls subconsciously chase after losers and then cry about it later. Am I wrong?

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    • so then girls want a bad boy, who is sexy and causes trouble. But they want to fix them...

    • Some do, but not all. Everyone wants something different. Yes, some girls are stupid/niave (it could be either one) enough to chase after a guy who is no good. I once read a study that said people subconsciencously look for someone who is like their parent who they had unresolved issues with; so sometimes people chase after someone because of a psyhcological reasons too.

  • I'm still a teenager and though I don't have much experience with relationships yet, I can tell you that I know what I want in a guy and don't plan on taking any bs. Maybe I'm a rare case, but I have zero interest in dating players, users, abusers, etc..

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    • the players, users and abusers are EXPERTS at appearing to NOT BE players users and abusers. They also specialize in making it appear that they are an extraordinarily good match with you. Go for the good guy that may act nervous around you and shows that he cares about you constantly.

  • i am 17 and my friends and I are sick of the guys at my school. they are all arrogant jerks, and we all wish we knew some good and handsome guys :) maybe it's not our fault - the jerks are the ones who go after the girls they want while nicer boys seem to be shier. perhaps if the nice guys started showing their interest rather than being afraid of being rejected for a jerk, things would be different. you tell me what that's all about! :)

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  • yes...I dated the biggest asshole 4 years...it was when I was still in high school...and I was stuck on him for a long time after I finally broke up with him...but then I met the sweetest guy...he was smart, funny, cute, and honestly the sweetest guy I'd ever met...I fell for him instantly and we've been together for almost 2 years now

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  • in my case, I dated jerks because I have this expectation of them. so they were a bunch of letdowns. I also stopped being superficial and just date every nice guy. I mean, I'll never know if my dream guy happens to be the nice tattooed guy in my office.

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  • K, well not every guy who dates is an asshole, and not every girl goes for assholes. In fact, most guys are NOT assholes. Things just don't work out or whatever, and people move on. That's life. its NORMAL! Girls never decide to not date guys because they're handsome or treat them well. That's total bs. The only chicks who would do that are like ones with really low self esteem. Normal ones don't do it.

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    • I am not saying that girls actually do this by their plan.

      I think that their way of seeking out guys and the things that turn a girl on sexually leads them to asshole guys.

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    • you sound off, sorry but if you're not getting any its not because you're such a great catch, but keep telling yourself that lmfao

    • I just moved to a new place.

      And I do not go to places and try to hook up with women. I am only going for quality women.

      If I am not getting any, its because I am not a loser takes whatever what he can get.

      ;-)

  • WOW the way you talk makes it sound like girls choose to be abused and played and left heartbroken. Like they want to date buttholes and losers and ride an emotional rollercoaster. well newsflash- WE DONT. but the sucky fact of life is it happens.

    and the way you talk, it sounds like you're one of them.

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    • I choose my rhetoric because I am NOT one of them.

      :-)

      The problem is, I see a pattern of woman choosing guys that ARE one of them.

      I imagine though, that girls that go for these types of guys don't spend the time to go on a website that helps with relationships. They usually ask their friend Jack Daniels or the bar tender for dating advice...

      So, I am likely preaching to the choir. If I was one of the bad boys, I would be too busy getting laid to come on here!

    • the fact is many of the jerks are great at pretending to be the good guy, or the nice guy. I have ended up with them and I never set foot in a bar- I met him at a church.

      these things happen all the time. you live and learn

  • Yeah, because boys never date weird ass bitches and are so mature. RIGHT. What nonsense.

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    • Those guys that date weird ass bitches also get the awesome sweet loving girls.

      I think EVERYONE will agree that girls get with losers and terrible boys more often then guys get with weird and slutty girls.

      (by get with, I mean have as a gf)

      So who gets left out of this equation, smart mature attractive guys.

    • Yeah? And where are these smart, mature, attractive guys? And here ya'll get mad at us for having expectations like that.

  • When do men like you stop complaining & acting like a bitch?

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  • yea there is a stage some girls mature really soon like at 16, and some really late around 25-27...

    i grew up pretty fast, and I have been with a serious guy who is 6 years older, since I was 17... I know what I want in life, I don't like partying or drugs... I just want a family in 2 or 3 years. but some girls just wanna party f*** around, no serious realtionships/ tie down*, and idk... but your theory is true.

    i never wanted to date anyone under 20 because I knew what it would lead to... guys are usually very immature my boyfriend and I understand each other and everything is good. girls should date guys at least 5 years older... well if there like 17 or 18 and mature.

    but I neverr dated anyone my age... I guess everyones different

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    • also may I add, I never dated a guy if I didn't see myself in the future with them... but girls now a days date a diff guy every week, guys who they party with, have sex, dump em, and move on the next day... I can't stand these little girls dating someone for a week and saying I love them, then breaking up and saying I love my new boyfriend he's better... its like wtf.

    • GIrls like you mentioned above have been ruining the dating/relationship world for a long time.

      These are the girls that turn guys into players and thus hurt other girls.

    • lol how so? if I don't date anyone how do I ruin the dating life? I don't interfere with anyones life. your f***ing retarded

  • every girl doesn't date losers/players/abusers/deadbeats. the girls who constantly do date guys like that usually have psychological problems so its unlikely that you would really want to get involved with someone like that long term. your best bet is to make yourself as attractive as possible, be outgoing and approach girls and be confident. there are plenty of girls who would like a guy who isn't abusive or a loser, but you can't sit here and say that "most" girls want a guy like that. most girls our age do want a guy that is attractive and confident though, so if that's not you maybe you should aspire to be like that.

    also stop being a pushover (I'm not saying you are like that because I don't know what you're like in person!) one thing girls don't respect is a guy who is a doormat and bends over backwards to do everything he thinks she would like. people don't respect anyone like that. you have to have a backbone, and be strong and masculine. that is what women respond to. I'm serious.. it could be a redneck country guy, a thug from the hood, a firefighter, a CEO of a company and all of them get women that are hot. and you might wonder these guys have nothing in common but how are they so successful with women? because they are confident in themselves, maybe fun to hang out with and masculine. seriously that's it.

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    • Yeah, you do not know me.

      I am actually borderline too confident. I am a master musician and I am attractive. I am just not mean to women and do not purposefully ignore them.

  • I've already matured. And I'm not even out of high school. So obviously it varies from girl to girl.

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  • Is there are point where men mature up & stop caring about looks more than anything?

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    • guys are made to care about look...thats it!

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    • Woman care about looks to. But they care about looks and want a guy who can be mean to them and treat them like they don't care about them.

      Woman love a guy to not really love them!

    • Are going to seriously try to say women care about looks as much as men? You always see beautiful girls with ugly guys because while women don't care about looks, men won't settle whatsoever.

  • tell me where I can find one and I'm marry him tomorrow

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    • Tomorrow, you will see 4.

    • You will see 4 tomorrow, but you will choose to not be interested in them for one reason or another!

      yay!

What Guys Said 5

  • I don't think they ever mature, they just go rotten to be honest with you.

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  • Still waiting for that to happen. The truth is, good people are hard to find. Women are just as capable the same nastiness as men. All you can do is ignore the bitches and be good to yourself. The very worst thing you can do for your own sanity is to expend energy railing against the world for the snittiness of other people. Try to find things in your life that you feel positive about, because that positivity will pervade your approach to life and attract other positive people.

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  • What does it take for the "nice guy" to grow a sack and takes charge of his own life and happiness instead of blaming the ladies for not choosing the jerks and not him?

    The truth is the "nice guy" is not really that nice, I was one myself and I'm over it. Go get a handle of yourself, learn what you are doing wrong, grow yourself into a better man and get over your own mental obstacles for success.

    If you want some help, read Glover's "No More Mr. Nice Guy."

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  • I have a similar theory, but I have noticed that they tend to "mature up" after being dumped, having a few kids and gaining several pounds. In other words, they only look for a "good" guy when the "bad" guys no longer want anything to do with them. lol

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    • I think are you hit it on the head.

      I never thought about it that way. But now that I think about it, the women I know who are hot stuff go for a good guy when they have kids and they got old. Sad.

    • Yeah, dating kinda sucks like that. Here I was planning on going to school and getting a good job before looking for "the one", yet it seems most women can't wait that long and have already started families by the time they're my age.

    • Then maybe the trick is to go to school, get a good job, and then find "the one" who is much younger then you.

      That pretty much is how men make it HALF TO BE.

  • I'm 29 and I know how you feel. I used to think "well after college girls will FINALLY grow up" but I discovered in my mid 20s that's still not the case.

    Some women do mature and settle down with good guys but many others keep up the cycle of self sabotage because all those douche bags you mentioned above seem "exciting" to women for some reason.

    Ironically I've had more success dating women in their young 20s now than I did when I was that age. They are more energetic and a little more open minded. Women my age...seem to be looking for security which is usually means MONEY. They also have a lot of emotional/phsyical baggage (kids) from their mishaps with douche bags in the past.

    You know the game now. Date younger girls and say F*** YOU to "age gap" naysayers.

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    • Yeah, that seems to be the way it works. Man, our system is really screwed up...

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