Girls? Have I blown it? Please help.

It's long so please bear with me...

I am 31 and my ex partner and I decided to give a relationship a go after 10 years of knowing each other, she has 4 children who all see me as their Dad even though I am not, but I was cool with this, in fact I loved it, after a while we decided to have a baby together ourselves as we were so in love and things were great, she fell pregnant and started to change but I was OK with this as I knew it was hormones and stuff, I made her feel as comfy as possible and did everything for her, she got 4.5 months and some issues came up about a situation regarding her and my mother, they were having conflicting issues over my mother being called “Nan” by all the children not just our unborn , my mother disagreed to it and my partner claimed it favouritism and it would hurt and confuse the other children, I agreed with my partner, but she made me choose between my family (Mum etc) and Her (Who became my family), I chose her of course, after a day she said she needed space, so I gave her it, to which she broke up with me and has gotten nasty and abusive since, has banned me from her and the children and I am not allowed anything to do with my child until he is born, she has even changed the names we agreed on, and now she has gotten really nasty I contacted her to see how she was doing and how the 2nd scan went and she threatened the police on me, spread lies about me, changd her number etc so I have no contact at all, and has also turned nasty on her own family, One minute she was telling me how much she loved me, the next…..this, it has destroyed me mentally emotionally and physically, I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I miss her and the kids so much, I am missing out on the pregnancy of my first born, the birth and possibly more, until now I was sleeping on the streets as I had nowhere to go, and she didn’t care. She is the love of my lfe, she gave me a family and happiness and in a heartbeat ripped it all away from me, over something that I was not responsible for! I stood by her and defended her and got punished for it. Either way I would have lost.

After this she invited her "Player" Ex back, so through Paranoia and desparation, I started playing games from a distance which caused him to get mad and walk away from her, she figured it was me and it pushed her "over the edge", this was when she changed her contact details, her friends may have convinced her "It wasn't me", I was stupid, but I have gone from attractive and confident to a wussy slave. She is mentally screwed up from hormones and pressure, and I am through heartbreak, desperation and love. Help me.

Have I blown it all?

Updates:
Thank you for your answers, I have recently learned that she is quiet and snappy, spending her time sat with a "blank face", her friends find it hard to hold a conversation with her or read what she truly feels. I have no contact. How can I get her back?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You haven't blown it all. If you've done all you can in your power to show the woman you're in love with her and her and the kids are all you need, then what more can you do? If she's playing it out this way and treating it like it's dirt, then why not try to help yourself? Time lets wounds heal, and in the future maybe once the tension isn't as strong, you can try to talk confidently to her. Until the pregnancy is over and all that is going on, she's likely to act the way she has been from hormones and etc. Just take it day by day and try to do some things for yourself. She'll have to open her eyes at some point.

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What Girls Said 4

  • That is a lot to blame on hormones. It seems to me that you were doing all you could so she fed into that and started abuseing you. It steam rolled from there. I have been pregnant, it does not make you that mean. For a woman to ask you to choose her over your family is wrong. In this somewhat mild sinerio anyway. Over a name. Yes wrong on your mothers part,but come on. She should have sat down with your mom one on one and told her how she felt. It almost looks to me like an excuse for something else. If they could not agree just have the kids call her by her name. If someone really loves you I don't believe they would put you in that situation. She (the ex) needs to stop for a minute and see what she is doing to her children ripping you out of their lives. That is really wrong.

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  • I'm sorry to hear this is going on. I feel for her when it pertains to your mom, I feel the same at time with my man's family. But you did something my man still hasn't and for that she is wrong for leaving you this way. The only reason I would leave is if I had been through this before and back fired on me before and didn't want to go through it again. If not, then I say leave it alone as hard as it might seem. It works both ways in a relationship, when you let go they start looking for you and wondering about you. For now be strong get some education if you have none, so that you will have more to offer someone who really cares and that baby of yours when he/she comes looking for you. Best wishes, and no you have not blown it, you've just put it on pause until you get yourself together again...

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  • wow...im gonna say its the hormones..just try to hang in there..hopefully once she has the baby her feelings will change..gluck

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  • How would you like to come home to find her on your bed? link - Nice huh :)

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