My boyfriend has this girl that he's been best friends with and we have only been going out for 4 months but this has been an on-going problem. She has a boyfriend too but she's still really clingy to mine and I feel like she risks our relationship. I'm not the type of girl to tell him to choose but when I brought that subject up he refused to choose and said he wasn't willing to risk them being friends. I just feel like he thinks of me and her as the same and cares about us the same. Is it true they are really just friends and there's no feelings and he cares about me more?
Most Helpful Girl
I am good friends with a guy whose best friend happens to be a very pretty girl. To be honest, when I first started hanging out with them together, I thought they were either dating or madly in love with each other because they got along so well. After watching them for a while, though, I realized that although they look like the perfect couple, the dynamic between the two of them is completely platonic. There's no flirtatious tinge to their banter and after watching both of them fall in love with other people, I've realized that they've never once looked at or behaved towards each other they way they treated their respective love interests. It'd be obvious to a blind man that they really care about each other but the affection they share seems almost genderless.
In my opinion, the real problem isn't your boyfriend's friend as much as it is your own insecurity. I apologize if that comes off brusquely but here's an outsider's opinion. Your boyfriend is dating you; the girl you're worried about is dating someone else. In other words, while I assume that they've known each other longer than you and your boyfriend have been dating, he chose to date you and not her. Beyond that, what you see as clingy is probably just her trying to maintain her friendship with your boyfriend; you really can't fault her for that. You say that you're worried about your boyfriend caring about you two the same, but I'd honestly be flattered if he did. Being someone's best friend is such an honor. Not to mention the fact that there's different types of love. He could love her more than he'll ever love you as a sister but still love you more than he'll ever love her as a girlfriend. Make sense?
Anyway, to summarize: I think you should really try to get to know the girl better and start trusting your boyfriend more.0