What's the difference between dating and marriage?

these days, dating is just like marriage.

It use to be marriage meant then you have sex, you live together, and you share the finance.

nowadays People are dating and are already having sex, living together, and sharing the finance.

I asked my guy how he loved me more than his ex of 3 years and he said it was because he married me. But then he lived with her, had sex with her and shared his finance with her. the only difference with me... is a piece of paper? the only reason he didn't marry her was because she left him for another guy.

so what is the difference? Because I see none.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It never meant "then you have sex." That myth was asserted as truth more strongly in the past than it is today, and people were more discrete about it, but it's never been true. Same with monogamy. The appearance was upheld more strongly in the past, but the reality never matched the myth. It's very naive to believe that people didn't have pre-marital and extra-marital sex in any period in the past.

    Marriage makes you legal partners in the business of life. It's some degree of commitment to stick around when things get tough, and to make the welfare of the relationship a priority. And it forces you to take time to cool off before ending the relationship, whereas someone living together can walk out the door today with no strings attached.

    That said, marriage is certainly no magic bullet or guarantee of a lifelong relationship. About 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce or annulment.

    I suppose one way to look at it is this: if someone wants to live with you, they're committing to the present. If someone wants to marry you, they're making at least a token commitment to the future. It's a greater expression of hope.


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What Guys Said 4

  • He loves you more deeply, and because of what happened and since he's married you, he trusts you as much, if not more than he did her, but his commitment is to you proves that she can't hold a candle to you - he's not chasing her, after all.

    Cherish it, cherish him, I can only hope to be as lucky as he, since the same thing happened to me, most exactly. My ex of a 3.5 year relationship left me for someone else. I had sex with her, we shared finances, lived together when we could (long-distance colleges), and I truly loved her, however, I hope that whoever I'm with next that the relationship will continue as yours has, that a bond forms which is strong enough that neither questions marriage. You have no reason to doubt him. He knows a horrible, heart-wrenching pain, which you are keeping him from. Believe in your love.

    There is no measure of love, it is either there, or it isn't... I do not believe that you can love one person more than another. He has commited himself to you through that love, through sickness and in health, until death do you part. You don't commit to that for someone you're dating. Marriage is the ultimate bond, and I firmly believe that if he is as genuine as I'm sure you know him to be, that his bond to you is near unbreakable on his end.

    Best, and Merry Christmas.

    • thanks! and merry Christmas and best wishes to you too

  • Well the way marriage is viewed today compared to relationships, the only difference is the paper and the ring, but that is because of society changed over time, but how it has been devalued over time is mostly the modern media and celebrities, you see it all the time they get married and then divorced like its breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    sad really, but ultimately the biggest change marriage has suffered is that it went from a commercial thing to a romantic thing, in simple terms, because back in the old days it was just a business contract between both parents to share the wealth and make sure it would continue down other generations

    but the biggest problem in marriage is also this pressure that both couples have to suffer because their is this image about marriage in society that both have to live up to and that it conflicts with their nature and the dynamic of how their relationship works(man provides and the woman is submissive) but you can see how this created cracks and fissures and can lead to both suffering greatly also how they deal with problems, because screaming at each other does not work and does not lead to a good place

    the difference is the commitment both have for each other, personally I do not like the idea of marriage because I do not want to live to the expectations that everybody has about marriage to ruin the way my girlfriend and I will choose to live out our lives together

    • so true. thanks for answering.

  • Marriage is an insurance for women that men won't get away that easy from them. And if they somehow manage to get away, this insurance provides great benefits for women such as aliments, cash, property and whatever ruins man's life.

    Dating doesn't in most cases.

    • wow, you have a very negetive view on marriage. some women make 3x as much as their husbands, and their husbands are just stay at home dads. My sisters husband never worked, and they are divorced and she let him take everything. so it isn't always the girl that takes everything, some times the guy does because the girl is so nice. but whatever.

  • Marriage is suppose to be monogamous. Dating there are no binding commitments.

    Sadly, today it seems people do not value the sanctity of marriage : (


What Girls Said 4

  • I can understand your rather cynical view but, having been married (and divorced), there are distinct differences. For a lot of people there is a big difference between marriage and living together.

    You might think there isn't, but my first husband (yes I have been married twice) and I lived together for 3 years before we got married. We shared a belief that it would prepare us for marriage. It didn't. When we got married something clicked in both of us and our subconscious views of what it meant to be a husband or a wife changed our relationship.

    I would also say a lot of people prefer to be married before having children. Obviously that is not always the way it works out, but I know I was very much able to avoid an unplanned pregnancy until my husband and I were married, and we both were ready for a child.

    Marriage is not an easy process to end unless you have no assets and no children. Once you add money, property and children to the mix, divorce is a very agonizing and difficult process, even if you are relatively civil during the process. On some level, most people recognize this and when two people do decide to marry, it usually comes with some amount of seriousness that people do not have when they decide to bunk up sans marriage license. I mean you have to be pretty committed to each other to get through the wedding planning process in a lot of cases, lol.

  • One advantage of marriage is that, if you fall out of love with him or if he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in love again=)... I hope that made sense ha ha basically there is value in marriage, I used to just think it was all just a piece of paper to, but a guy even entering into a contract with you and making a vow to you is a big sign of strength and commitment and shows you're worth a lot more to him than his ex

  • Sometimes men propose to end the relationship!...I was in a heavy duty sexual relationship for a couple of years, and the guy was building this house, when the house was finished I didn't want to move in because he had all these stipulations and unreasonable rules ...l.like no animals allowed, no magnets allowed on the fridge, no decorating the house,no pottery barn sofa, no extra anything, you can only have five shirts and three pairs of pants, every hanger has to be the exact distance apart from the next hanger, just ridiculous unreasonable crap, that I thought I would be walking on eggshells around him, but was very in love with him...not his rules...the sex was spectacular...but the rule book was ridiculous. So I didn't want to move into his house, then he started getting desperate it seemed when he saw I was moving out into this rental room with these men in this house, then he started asking if we were getting married, and I told him my mother wouldn't allow me to I've into his house without a lease because she warned me he would throw me out and I would have to live in my car if I broke the rules...he didn't want to sign a lease with me, and continued asking if we were getting married, then he brought his two single friends to live in the house rand they were having all these bachelor parties...and it just seemed like he was all bullsh*t about getting married, then he told me women in his culture stay home and the men go out, and I was like whatever prick,deuces, I'm out of here, we didn't talk for four months, then he told me in this nightclub that he got married just four months later after we had been aging for three years...I was pissed and devastated. I didn't understand why he waited so long to proposes and then whe he finally did, he had all these stipulations to living together, and why he proposed as Alastair resort without a ring. I was devastated, I was left with no home, no friends, no support group, no family where I lived, no relationship, no job, no job skills, and no money, and the men I needed up renting from we're small time hustlers who sold cocaine in the Local strip clubs and to their network of friends downtown, they needed up entering my room ,and tryi g to hassle me to date me ,seeing that I was alone without a social system or family around me, and then they were threatening my life, after I informed the landlord they sold cocaine so I could get out of my lease, the I had to pack everything up in my car and go live in my car during the hurricane that came through town that summer, meanwhile my relationship of the last three years was screwing his new friend and living like a king in his castle that he built while he was with me, but wouldn't let me move in, and gave the home to the new girl, whom I found out later he had the wedding ceremony inside the house! The house that I helped him move into, I slept in, I bathed in, I sexed in, I

  • marriage is just a bit of paper

    • that what it seems to be too, so it's almost like he was technically married to her too... that's what I think.