I want to date this girl but I'm scared of being made fun of?

So there's this girl I really like that's really nice, kind, and genuine. The only problem I have is she's made fun of by a lot of people. My friends say dating her is like social suicide. How can I tell her we should keep our relationship a secret? Any advice on this is greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Telling her that will kill her. period. I think you need to ask yourself how much does that social acceptance matter to you? It's been in my experience when I couldn't care less about the opinions of others and treated them with the sardonic wry tone and indifference they deserved, that not only did I notice the foolishness less but my relationship eventually lost it's novelty and people moved on.

    I also found that without the views of others constantly tainting, contaminating my relationship and my view of the person I was in a relationship with; I was fully able to enjoy that relationship. Every facet of it and they are still memories I hold dear.

    At the end of the day, you have to decide if you like her enough to brave the storm. Either you do or you don't and you leave her alone. You wanting to hide a relationship with her from the public will just crush her self-esteem; one of the most important things for me in a relationship was knowing the person I was with was proud to have me on their arm and mark me as their territory. If you can't give her that, I'm not saying it's your fault, but it's probably best to leave her alone. Besides, these things always get out and even though you might suffer some discomfort, the brunt of the mockery and the cruelty will be hers.

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What Girls Said 7

  • SCREW WHAT PEOPLE SAY. I can tell you right now, finding a genuine caring person anymore isn't easy. There's so many liars and cheaters and you really never know what you're going to get. So if you're sure this girl is the real deal, then go for it with arms wide open. Embrace it. If your friends and everyone else are not yet at the point in their lives where they can accept 2 people being happy, then they've got some serious growing up to do. If you date her and try to hide the relationship, then you don't even deserve that girl and she should be ashamed to tell people she's dating you if you do that. And I think if the first idea that came to your mind to solve the dilemna was to keep it a big secret, then you've got some growing up to do too, sorry to say.

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  • "Scared of being made fun of?" -.-

    “Live for yourself -- there's no one else more worth living for..."

    -Neil Peart

    If you're friends were real friends, they'd accept your decision and her. If I were her, I'd be so embarrassed and ashamed to think that my boyfriend cared more about his social status than me. I might as well not go out with him at all if that's what he thought!

    You do what you want, but you gotta remember that you only live this life once. So do what you think is right for you and her. Remember that she's still a girl like any other. She has feelings too.

    I don't mean any of this offensively at ALL xD I'm just so sorry for you that your friends are just UUGHGHH

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  • Screw what everyone else thinks, just go for it. If you're friends can't accept the fact that you really do like this girl, than they shouldn't even be considered friends. If you like her, then ask her out. If you want to keep it a secret, just say so and be honest.

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  • Uh why should you be ashamed of love. That's kind of slack keeping it a secret she may think your ashamed of her.

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  • Okay. I don't think you should even do that to her because she'll be hurt. She'll think you're embarrased of her. So either don't date her or try to figure out a way to tell her you don't want to risk your reputation.

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  • curious...why are you the only one who likes her? if you care this much about what your friends think than you're prob. a lot like your friends...so, why would they make fun of her while you want to date her?

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  • I think that if you really like the girl then go out with her. Who cares what people think. If they don't like her that's their problem. It's just like not liking a certain color because everyone hates it and will make fun of you for it. If you like her then go out with her. You don't wanna miss out on her just because people might not like you for it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • After you've gotten the point across that you want to date her you should mention your demands upfront:

    "Jessica, I want to date you. I don't want this to be public though"

    My guess is that sh'es going to ask your reason why:

    - If you tell the truth she's probably going to avoid you for being selfish

    - If you tell a lie it'll bite you in the ass later, when you really do like her.

    So make sure to have your response on hand.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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  • Social suicide...put the gun to your mouth is my suggestion. Fuck everyone else. If they don't like it, tell them to bite your d***. If you like her, go for her. Be happy for you, chase the things that make you happy, brush off all the other social pressures to fit into the group. You won't be happy following the group like a sheep anyway.

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  • dont keep it a secret if your freinds can't be happy for you then f*** them I had the same sitiation with a girl in my school I just ignored what everyone said and our relationship went pretty damn good and everyone eventually got over it and got on with their lives

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  • you shouldn't tell her to keep anything secret.. If you are embarrassed for people to know you like her then you shouldn't be in a relationship with her... its not cool. messed up to her and you .

    if you really like her, then don't let something stupid like that get in the way. be a man and don't apologize for liking who you like and sure as hell don't hide it .

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  • if you did that it wouldn't be fair or respectful so you might wanna try somethin else

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