Honestly, would you date someone who you knew was sick?

Would you date someone who you knew was sick? For the purposes of this question, let's assume that it's not contagious and not necessarily terminal, but most likely progressive. Think of something like MS or rheumatoid arthritis. Say the girl was your perfect in every other way but she had these health problems...would you even want to start dating someone knowing that?

As you may have guessed, I am in such a situation. And even though I realize that I'm certainly far from anyone's perfect girl, I just want to know if anyone in my situation stands a chance. These medical issues are such a big part of my life that I think it would be dishonest of me not to tell any potential mates of (at least in general terms) my situation. However, I also recognize that most people probably will not be up for the challenge. Please answer this question honestly. I will not -1 anyone for being honest. In fact, if I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure that I would be able to deal with these problems in someone else. I just want to know the truth for you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In all honesty. No butt-kissing here. Nothing but the truth.

    Yes, I would. Not at the same circumstances though.

    For example... Sometimes I would only date girls because I thought they were hot. In this case, it would have to be someone who I really truly care for and genuinely like. Just because someone has a progressive illness doesn't mean they become unavailable.

    Also, I'd have to be sure this person would mean everything to me and it'd have to be someone that I could never see myself hurting... Because I can't imagine putting someone through emotional pain on top of the pain they already have to deal with.

    If you wanna talk more about this, feel free to get at me. I respect you for coming out about this.

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What Guys Said 1

  • A couple months ago I was studying at coffee bean. Sitting there trying to get through my good ol' stats. and out of the corner of my eye I saw a dog and some girl holding him... I love dogs so I was checking the dog out. And I realized that the owner had a bandana on covering her bald head. She was prob 19-23? not sure exactly her age. I have never seen a girl glow and be so beautiful in my life. It was amazing. I kinda saw a walk to remember happening if I introduced myself. I didn't introduce myself, but I haven't been able to get her out of my head. Of course I do not know her story but she seemed like a cancer patient, and I would have done it no problem even if I knew it was a fatal type. Life is too short to worry about what will happen down the road... LIVE IN THE PRESENT WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE WHEN IT IS THE PRESENT...

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What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly would. If I truly loved someone.

    The same thing happened to me when I got my first boyfriend two years ago. When I was younger, I became anemic and over the years it's been getting worse little by little. I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to think that I had to be careful all the time and couldn't do any physical activities (like go bike riding, ice skating, etc.) Even though we were only together for 7 months, after the 3rd month, things seemed promising, so I told him. For my safety if I happened to be with him if God forbid someting happened to me.

    I agree with Asher, it would have to be someone who you know you mean the world to. I understand where you're coming from about being dishonest by not telling them, I felt the same way, but like you said, your medical issues are a big part of your life, so wait till you become a big part in someone else's life. Wait till you know that someone cares about you SO MUCH that you're medical issues, won't be a deciding factor on whether or not they'll be with you. They'll be there and help you through it all, and love you unconditionally. I hope I helped!

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