so to make a short story quick!
My ex an I met when we were 16. he was 17. I was love at first sight and all the high school sweetheart non-sense! He was a year older. so he went to college first. he didn't go away. stayed local.when it was time for me to choose colleges I ended up staying local too. I was an amazing girlfriend. not to sound cocky. but I never gave him shit about anything. he did what he wanted to. as long as he was happy! This is where the story turns. everything started to be double standard. with him. he could do this. but I couldn't do it. anyway. we ended up breaking up. because we started to fight. I broke it off with him cause I hate fighting! a month goes by. we start talking again. and we are sill sexual with eachother. ( this went on for about 5 months.) until my bday weekend. in feb when I found out. he had a different girlfriend since october ( a month after we broke up) so you can imagine how I felt. my whole world came crashing. on me. so what did I do. I found out her AIM. and I imed her telling her he was still seeing me. and FUCKING ME! and telling her how its not fair and he can' have the both of us. Anyway. because the that IM. he didn't talk to me for about 6 months! I think he lied to her. and told her I was psycho or something when I was being honest! I stayed calling him thru those 6 months of no talking WHY? ( I don't know- I'm stupid I guess ) we started talking again in aug and I started getting random drunk- or non drunk calls from him saying how much he loves me and misses me. and how I'm he girl he wants to marry! and he doesn't care about the girl he is with now. So a couple of months pass by of monthly calls. and we decide to meet up. for the first time in 1 1/2 years.it was like we fell in love all over again. the problem is that he was still with that girl from b4. he ended up dumping her. and we started dating. we dated for about 10 months and we called it quits. ( he was lying and sneaking. and he saw he was getting out of control) he old me when we broke up he didn't want another girlfriend for a while. like years. and he told me. he can't picture. being with anyone else but me. in the long run. he wants to marry yada yada yada. have his kids. so here I am. 3 months after we break up. I look at rebound girl's away message. and it say I love you and his name. and her facebook picture. is a pic of them two! I dun know what I should do. I kinda feel that I am stuck on him. like I won't have feelings for another guy like I do wih himm.HELP ME please
Thank you so much for any advice!
Most Helpful Guy
I'll be completely honest here, so brace yourself.the guy doesn't seem to truly care about you, if the only reason why he seems to come back to you is for the sex. To men, sex can be a primal thing, as if to 'mark your territory' and show that you were better than any other guy, and make him feel good about himself. If you're giving him this pleasure without any kind of strings of discipline, then it's probably too late.
Your biggest mistake was probably giving him as much free reign as he had. I can safely say right now that, unless he truly wanted to change, you guys would end up divorced due to infidelity in under 6 months time, easy. He'd have zero responsibility for childcare, and would end up being the most hated guy on your list, all because there was no 'tough love' shown.
Any guy who thinks it's alright to string two girls along at the same time is low. He's using the other girl for his emotional needs, and using you for his physical needs.
If you ever want it to work with him, you need to set boundaries that even yourself have to follow. Sadly, it may be too late with the amount of time this has been going on.I wish you luck either way, but just don't throw your life away for one guy.0