What do I do wrong in the dating world?

OK so I have in the last month been on three dates with three different guys...and they all seemed to go OK and they told me they thought it went great and they would say I'm really pretty and nice etc and say that we should meet again...then I would text them the next day and they change and they seem to send the odd text saying yeah we will meet up but nothing comes of it...why be so full on on a date and say all this or am I doing something to instantly put them off me?,...and no I never slept with anyone of them x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "then I would text them the next day "

    That's possibly it, right there.

    It is very much a cliché, but even if a date goes well, there should be a period (I think the average for guys would be closer to three days) of distance, without calls/texts. It helps you to look back at the date with a clearer perspective.

    If I met a girl for a date on the Friday, and got a text from her on the Saturday, I'd think the following:

    1) I didn't make plans to see her Saturday. Doesn't she know I've most likely got plans of my own today?

    2) Doesn't she have any plans of her own? Ah heck, is she a johnny-no-mates kind of girl?

    Next time you have a date that goes well, give it a few days before you contact the guy again.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Well you're attractive so that's not the problem. I don't know your personality and never met you so that is a huge factor missing.

    But even if a guy did not have a great time on a date he said he did just to be polite. And guys like to be the aggressor...so wait for them to text or call you...dont call text them first. some guys do like girls being aggressors like that like me...but I know a lot of guys dont.

    and I don't know your personality, but if you are one of those girls who never shuts up, talks about themselves, and is loud then any guy would run the other way regardless of how cute you are.

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  • It could be what Belgie said (just to avoid retyping that), but it could also just be a nice way of breaking away from you. The date may have seemed smooth, but perhaps it didn't go completely the way they wanted or maybe they didn't find yo us interesting as they thought, but didn't want to be rude. So they try to make it all seem OK and just avoid you again. It could be because you didn't put out for them and that's all they were fishing for (kudos to you, for not doing it) and now they're moving onto someone else that will. I'd probably start off by looking in new places for a date. Don't date so quickly, get to know someone (either in person, or online) with a few more questions and probably update your profile (if it is online) to something a little more detailed about you, such as you lack of desire for having sex early and such. That will throw away the bad eggs that are looking for an easy lay. Up your bar-standard a bit.

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  • I agree with the bottom two responses below, this is the formula and even reflects a normal busy life beyond the first date.

    You may want more - perhaps you're not the waiting type.

    During the date, you might find a future event you both would love to share, thus request that he messages you if interested in going or just to update you on its details if you wish to be more coy. You could also create an event on Wednesday(?), or a problem that needs his expertise to get a text back ... and check his pulse; I had a great time, hope there were no problems for you ...

    this site offers a reality check tab - see how you do?

    best answer?

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  • It's not your fault sometimes it clicks with a guy and sometimes it doesent you just have to wait to find the right guy for you date a guy who your into because you get him and have the same sense of humor ect. and I guarentee it goes well

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  • nothing, because whenever something is going wrong in the dating world, it's the guys fault, not your fault, dating is fair for women but not fair for men, Ron Louis and David Copeland even say so.

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  • From the sounds of it, it doesn't sound like your fault. It sounds like the guys you are dating aren't taking the initiative to ask you out on a second date, for whatever reason. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, you will find someone.

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  • I think the only ones who could answer that would be the guys you dated.

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  • Cuz there phone broke

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  • have you ever asked them why? tell them that it would help you in the future.

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  • wait for him to text you (unless you can tell he is the shy type). Some guys like to be the hunters and chase after you. Texting to early is like the game is already won! Twisted logic and doesn't mean their bad guys just don't let the excitement/fun of dating someone new go too soon. Keep us guesing, they'll always be back for more!

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What Girls Said 5

  • I can understand why you are concerned. Overall I don't take anything my date says too seriously on a first date. Most of what is said is standard niceties that may mean nothing. Most people need a good night's sleep to really sort through how they are feeling and if they felt enough chemistry to pursue a 2nd date. Until a guy calls me for the 2nd date, I don't expect one.

    Beyond that, if you are doing something that is causing date after date to lose interest, short of seeing you on a date, it would be real hard to say. Some guidelines regarding first dates or even 2nd dates is: Keep it light, don't talk too much about yourself or address big issues, don't talk about your ex's, even if they were total jerks. A first date should be fun and flirty, not a time to get emotionally heavy. Hope that helps. Oh, and I agree with Belgie, but even beyond that, I don't text the guy at all. I leave it up to him to make the first contact after a date. I think the best relationships come from the guy taking the lead. Most women are ready to go into relationships much more quickly than guys and guys know that, so they are sensitive in the beginning to a woman who is initiating contact. Once you are in a relationship, that changes.

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  • Read "Act Like a Lady - Think Like a Man" .. the chapter on "Sport Fish vs. Keepers"

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  • Everything is wrong with the dating world, but what can you do...

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  • no that's fine

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  • Personally I wouldn't text them the very next day it seems too needy, text them like two days later or any time after that. Or even wait for them to text you because if they text you it means they are interested if they don't text you then move on.

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