Would you date someone with opposite personality traits or similar ones as yourself?

What do you think? When it comes to personality, do you think opposites attract for you or do you think similarities are your thing? I know everyone is different.

If you are shy, introverted, quiet, simply not talkative, etc. or if you are outgoing, bold, loud, very talkative, etc. would you go for one or the other most likely? If you are very emotional, passionate, etc. would you go for someone who is the same or someone is more emotionally reserved or distant, neutral to most things, etc. ? Things of that nature. :)

I've yet to have a real boyfriend or girlfriend, but I kind of think I'd like someone similar to me, but to a lesser degree. Does that make sense? Like, I can see where people say opposites balance things out, and I agree they do, but my complete opposite would be someone who is very quiet, shy, doesn't talk much, isn't passionate, emotional, or argumentative, who may not be witty or funny, and is very emotionally dry or seems so. This type of person, even just as friends, seems to always take so much more unnecessary work to get on a deeper level with. I have to always initiate conversations, which I don't mind, but it's like I literally pull the conversation. They usually are reluctant to give their opinions or thoughts, so it gives off the impression that they have none, which is extremely unattractive to me. It's hard to get into meaningful or even simple discussions with these people because they are so reserved. And when they do like you supposedly, you can't tell! Because they don't talk! -.-

I think because at times my personality is toward one extreme, that I either want a person very much like me. It's that strong personality that I like so much in myself and I'm attracted to other people like that. However, strong personalities often clash. I might want a person who is more in the middle so they can be different enough to balance me out, but similar enough so we can have good conversations and reach a point of depth in the relationship. Although, someone who doesn't talk much might be the right match for me. They could probably tone me down in debates, listen to me, and maybe getting beneath those layers of shyness would be worth it, who knows.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Having someone that's exactly like you could be a bad thing or a good thing. For me, I managed to find someone exactly like me once but it was terrible. We had the same personality flaws as well as things in common. We also had the same insecurities. Our personalities were so much alike that we didn't notice certain things. I feel that opposites work well together because, it can help the other work out some quirks. It is a balance to many issues that arise in relationships. Having someone that is exactly like you can spell trouble. Also the relationship can become quite predictable and boring.

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What Guys Said 5

  • i think I would prefer similar traits, I don't believe that opposites attract for me. but there could be a girl with opposite traits that works out, idk. I'm very quiet and introverted myself and I like people who are more on the quiet side. I agree with you on the lesser degree part, too much quietness might not be so good.

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  • opposites attract, but they are merely temporary attractions that will go away once reality kicks in...think of people's attraction to the exotic=new or different...unfortunately, in the end or long run, its the similarities that attract, that's what people actually look for once they are dating

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    • hmm that's an interesting point of view. it doesn't seem consistent with reality though. as someone else pointed out, having the same flaws, insecurities, etc. will eventually clash. I find it the exact opposite. I find people with similar personalities more attractive than the opposite, but I realize that psychologically, my opposite may have virtues and vices that balance me out and compliment my own, or help me.

  • I don't think the polarity of personalities counts for too much, as long as you can understand and empathise with your partner. I wouldn't mind someone different from me as long as she understood and accepted me as opposed to trying to change me without knowing who I really am.

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  • Its strange how it works with personalities, I personally have an odd personality, A mix of Emo, Gamer, Outdoorsy, Old Fashioned and whatnot. So its hard for me to find anyone of my personality. But sometimes that's a good thing, I can't even get along with myself sometimes, really it depends on a few key parts of your personality that I've been trying for years to identify. For instance im usually a loner but find myself attracted to a guy that is kinda well known, friendly, and funny. But I found myself dating a girl last year that I like who was like me, quiet, gamer, a bit emo, etc. So its really weird how it works, but if I ever find out what the key parts are ill be sure to tell everyone on here.

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  • Opposites most certainly do attract

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What Girls Said 5

  • In the middle is good! I can't be with a guy who's too bold because I'll feel diminished, but I can't be with a guy who's a social case because I feel like I'm dragging a chain around.

    Someone you can comfortably communicate with is essential.

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  • I think I'm fine with either really, though most guys I've liked have a completely opposite personality to mine =D

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  • someone similar... I like it when someone and me have things in common

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  • Opposites may pull two together, but similarities maintain that togetherness.

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  • I don't really know. I think it's more like an in-between thing. Some things I like to be similar but other things don't matter if they're opposite.

    I tend to date guys who are more outgoing because I'm not. It works for both of us because he pulls me out of my shell and I get him to just relax sometimes. It's like a yin and yang.

    Same goes with emotions, I'm not good with expressing or talking about mine. I never have been.. And the guys I usually date are usually really open with how they feel about me and us. I like that too.

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