First date, who pays?

Guys if you do pay for the first date, do you enjoy it.

anything else you have to say, please add.

  • Guy
    60% (140)71% (134)65% (274)Vote
  • Girl
    1% (2)3% (6)2% (8)Vote
  • Split it
    39% (92)26% (50)33% (142)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Thank you for all your answers and thoughts. [=

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I tend to pay for things with friends or lovers or whatnot. Money is.. unimportant to me in the long run. I'm not foolish with it, nor do I have a lot, but there are so many more important things. If she insists on helping pay, that's fine by me, but ya.. I don't know.

    Though, considering we're almost always the ones asking a girl out, I think since we have to go through the stress and courage to ask her out and whatnot first, they should have to pay for the first date. That seems fair.

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    • if your asking a girl on a date you shouldn't expect her to pay. if she asks you on a date she shouldn't make you pay either.

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    • if you ASK a girl out, ESPECIALLY for the first time EVER --- you should PAY, for goodness sake first impressions last a lifetime...and you won't look good if you ask her out to dinner and look at her as if she should pay. I would laugh in your face and never speak to you again

    • Him doing all the work and coming up with the courage to ask out means he should have to make even more sacrifices? Can you not see the bullsh*t?

What Guys Said 40

  • The only circumstance where I would be OK with not paying for the first date would be if she asked me out to some really expensive place. Something that might make me think "I might have said no if I knew it was gonna cost me $100+ just to find out if I like you." Otherwise I like to pay.

    I mean, it's kinda hard to pull off the take charge manly routine if you have to say "you got this?" when the check comes. ;)

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  • Money is really unimportant. I believe men should pay for the first date. You are on a date to have fun and enjoy yourselves and to me I do not whatsoever mind paying for a date. Cause the 100 dollars you spent could be your best investment ever your future wife!

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  • I believe guys should pay on the first few dates. After a while, then it should be split here and there. I do believe men should be the ones paying most of the time though. Not cause of macho reasons, but because I believe it's traditional and respectful.

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  • I say guy, only because guys generally are the one who initiate asking the girl out, and therefore it is "his date." So his treat. After that, the guy can generally pay but the girl may be willing to split, or even pay herself depending on the event... but guy pays for the first initial date.

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  • Whoever asked the other person out to dinner should be the one that pays

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  • Well I had a job for about 2 years and all they did was schedule me for 99 hours every paycheck, plus I'd pick up other people's hours when they couldn't make it, I signed off on the part-time only thing for underaged teenagers.

    So needless to say, I didn't have much free time to spend money while I had a job. Now that I am free, I pay for everything for my girlfriend and my best friend, and sometimes my guy friends too. My philosophy is, money is unimportant to me if I have no one to spend it with or on, my best friend doesn't like it that I spend just as much money on her as I do for my girlfriend but I enjoy it.

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  • Who ever asked who ever out...

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  • I would pay b.c girl always remember small things like that and it'll make me come off broke/poor/shallow or something alone those lines, and it's only gentleman-like. James Bond is my boy!

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    • If she offers to pay she's testing you and if you don't you do seem like a jerk lol I'd be comfortable payin but it's a red flag when the guy doesn't offer or tries to get you to pay them back (had that happen what a loser!)

  • I think the guy should pay for it, if the girl offered to it'll be really sweet - but never the less I think the guy should insist to pay - especially on the first date.

    I'd pick up penny's in the drains if I had to- just to pay for the date :)

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  • I think I'd have to pay. I'd feel kind of bad if I didn't.

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  • i say guy, and I don't mind paying at all

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  • the person who asked the other one on the date should pay, whether guy or girl. it only makes sense from a logical point of view. no, I don't enjoy paying. I do not enjoy the act of forking over money. but I do it regardless.

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  • I do not have problem to pay. But girls I was with usualy have. They didn't want to feel like they owe me something. So to split is I think better option. I'd hate to let girl pay.

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  • Guy always ... Better open them doors for the ladies also guys, and don't forget about pulling out the chair for her.

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  • If I ask her out, I'm willing to pay for it. If she asks me out, then she should be willing to pay for it (though in that instance, I'd certainly offer to split the bill).

    The only time I wouldn't pay is if she's clearly abusing it, like buying the most expensive stuff on the menu just because she can. If that's the case, she can pay her part.

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  • The guy pays for EVERY date. I didn't even know this was a question.

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    • I definitely agree with you! I'd feel unimportant, or... just plain uncomfortable paying for a guy. Lol, I really can't even get the idea in my head. I mean, I'm willing to help if he needs a bit extra, or I even might pay for myself if we've been going out too much, but paying for him? nope! lol (unless its an emergency, like he forgot his wallet..) I will pay for friends if they need it, but not for a boyfriend. I thought it was assumed too..

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    • I agree urdadsnitemare!

    • human condition, you are alone on that one. if you want to pay, do it...leave the rest of us girls out of it, we like it!

  • this shouldn't even be debated

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  • By default, the one who does the asking should pay. Having said that, most of the time the guy will try to pay anyway.

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    • See my longer note. I had a conflict about that. I would tend to believe you but it helps if you get it absolutely clear.

  • I feel more like a gentlemen if I pay

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  • Actually my wife said it would have been the deal breaker.

    On our first date she apparently waited to see if I would pay or offer to pay.

    For me...

    a) It came natural

    b) I was desperate to please

    So I paid her way without question or prompting.

    This still seems to be one of the traditional holdouts.

    Maybe a girl should be prepared to pony up for her half -

    but in my case she was looking for me to be traditional

    and for me - it was just my way.

    This ties in loosely to a bad experience with my father.

    I was in high school at the time. He took my brother and I to a fast food restaurant.

    He said "how about lunch?"

    Sure. So we ordered. And at the end... he was waiting for me to pay for my meal.

    Um. I didn't bring money with me.

    And besides, to me it sounded like HE was OFFERING.

    He seemed surprised. Ever since that time if someone said anything that resembled the question to me, I made sure up front who was buying. If it was not clear, I knew I had to assume responsibility.

    But for our first date, it was unconditional. I came with money.

    HAD SHE OFFERED - I would have insisted ONCE and then not argue.

    So guys, it can really be to your benefit for a first date.

    OFFER to pay. But don't play mind games. If she says "It's okay - I'll pay" - it's her tab.

    For me, it was a good call that I paid the way. Things aren't always bright and rosy for us but that was in April 1996 - We married in July 1999 and we're still together.

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  • i usually pay, HOWEVER, I want to see the chick at least offer to pay. If she doesn't, then that's a huge turnoff.

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    • um my first date INSISTED on taking me to the most expensive resturant in town, sorry but I couldn't afford to offer to pay, if let me pay I would be out on rent. Besides he wanted to take me there.

  • guys always should pay

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  • I think it's standard procedure for the guy to pay (lol), but I'd prefer it if the price was split up evenly between us.

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  • guy. I don't care if it's sexist.

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  • PFFT THE GIRL! everytime...you should be honered I even went out with her in public -.-

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    9|0
  • i won't pay for a girl I just met I mean c'mon ..

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  • i would only pay full price if I knew or at least was 70% sure we were going on a second date.

    if I might not see her again or on a date, I don't see the point to wasting my money on trying to impress her.

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  • the guy

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  • um depends who asks

    and which ever gender asks pays for it

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  • On a first date, the guy pays.

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What Girls Said 39

  • It makes me feel feminine when a guy pays. I wish that I were more modern and happy to pay for my share but I can't make myself feel that way. The money isn't the issue, I just love a guy with chivalry. If money is tight for a guy though and he can still make me feel feminine I am happy to split the tab. Paying for the guy though would make me feel to masculine and turn me off. I know that lots of feminists probably hate me right now but I can't help how I feel.

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  • I voted to split it. No matter what date it is, I believe you should split the check. It's nice for a guy to offer to pay it all, but I don't want to feel in debt to someone. I also don't want to come off as a girl who always relies on the guy paying. In this new day and age, I feel partners should be treated equal; including splitting the bill.

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  • Oh man, it really depends. I think the girl should offer to pay for herself, but should let the guy do it if he insists. And if he was the one who asked her out, he should insist!

    On my first date with my current boyfriend we went Dutch. He asked me out, but I had left him my phone number (without him asking! haha) so it seemed like the fairest way.

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  • Guy should always pay, first date or last date it doesn't matter. BUT on the first date the girl should offer to pay and grab her wallet/clutch/purse and the man should decline the offer, but of course thank her for offering. It's just a way to keep in touch with chivary, and so that the girl doesn't seem stuck up and snooty and the guy doesn't seem ike a dousche.

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    • Also, my parents raised me in the way that guy always pays, because it's just what they do! My dad still pays, and holds open doors for my mom (and me!). My dad always said (in not a very joking way) that he would be waiting by the door when I got home from my date, and if my date didn't do the chivalrous acts of opening up the door for me and paying for my dinner or whatever he would grab his shotgun, and blow his head off. Just the way I was raised. And no, were not hicks. (;

  • I try to split it as often as possible, or I pay for movies and you pay for dinner BUT I can't help loving it when a guy pays.

    But initially, it should really all depend on who did the inviting. (If I'm going to invite you over to my place for dinner, I'm going to provide the food. I won't ask you to bring your portion!)

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  • If a guy asks me out, I expect him to pay. If I ask someone out, I'm fine with paying, but a lot of the time they won't let me, or we end up splitting it.

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    • Same question I asked to others.. why? I mean, the guy had to already do a lot of work to get the courage just to ask the girl and then they usually have to do a lot of other jumping through hoops just to get the date going. Why can't the girl pay? She's already doing no work for the date. lol. Though, splitting it does seem the most fair for all.

    • Well, I have no problem paying, if I'm the one doing the asking. If someone else asks me, and it's the first date, I'd expect him to pay because he planned the date and he was the one to ask me to go. I don't even know if I really like the guy yet. I mean, wouldn't it be unfair to you if a girl asked you out on a date and then expected you to pay? It's a courtesy thing. Dates that follow we can split of course.

  • I think the guy should pay on the first date. Besides, it's the first date, you two aren't going to go somewhere REALLY esxpensive, right? And then you should split if there happens to be a second or third date.

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  • I always pay for myself even if the guy offers. I prefer to take care of myself.

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  • well it really depends,Its a tradition for a guy to pay but I don't mind paying or even spliting it.If the guy doesn't have enough money,I would split it with him.

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  • depends on the type of date, if he asked you to "hang out" he doesn't have to, but if you guys are going on a date with the romantic implications then yea he can pay

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  • I don't think a girl should expect the guy to pay...I think she at least should offer to split the bill. That says a lot about her character, that she's not high maintenance. Not saying a girl doesn't deserve to be wined and dined, but to EXPECT it, that would tell me that she's not willing to at least offer. It goes both ways.

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  • if the guy asks, the guy should pay. especially if its the FIRST date, like seriously what guy would ask a girl out to dinner and then when the bill came looks at her as if she's supposed to pay? that would be an awful first impression and never in my life have I been on a FIRST date where the guy asked me to pay. Sure, I'll offer, but I hope he's man enough to say no put it away on the first date and not look like a fool who can't afford a 6 dollar salad and a glass of water that costs zero dollars.

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  • I feel like splitting it makes things less awkward for if the date goes badly. Plus I hate feeling debt to anyone, including a guy I'm interested in

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  • Whoever asked the other person out. Or split it.

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  • Split it.I rather not have the guy come on here like the bitches most guys are and bitch about how I didn't pay for my half.

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  • On the FIRST date, I think the guy should pay, but after that they should split it and each one can pay different times.

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  • i don't expect the guy to paybut I think that in 99% of cases he'll want to and I'd politely offer but not make a scene until he lets me pay for half. that's not a good look on a 1st date. however, I tend to lean towards, whoever does the asking out pays.

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  • i always thought whoever asked who on the date, but I always offer to pay at least half anyways

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    • See why is that? The person who asks the person on the date already had to muster the courage up to ask and that's not easy at all. Why shouldn't the other pay considering they did next to no work in the date making other than "sure!"

  • I'd say split it but that's because I'd feel weird if he would pay everything.

    Then again I have never been on a real date before...

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  • haha I like how the only people who said the girl should pay are guys

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  • I tried to pay with the girl I went on a date with but she didn't let me!. We paid separately. now we have been dating for 3 months and we still pay separately. Every time I try to pay for hers she won't let me! She even pays for mine sometimes and I'm like "no dont!". But she still does no matter how hard I try. She's like well if you used your gas to come see me at least I can do is pay for your food.

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  • Split it, of if he pays, she pays next time.

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  • I think it's nice when guys pay on the first date, but then later on they should split it and/or the girl should pay to balance it. I think couples should do it in a way that it turns out even in the end, whether by alternating or splitting.

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    • Although if the girl asked the guy out on the first date, she should pay. It just doesn't make sense to ask someone out and then expect them to pay for you.

  • Whoever did the asking of the date should pay. Normally, it's the guy that asked but sometimes not...

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  • I said split it, but it would also be acceptable for whoever did the asking to pay

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  • Whoever did the asking, should pay.

    :P

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  • I'd say the guy.

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  • Let me tell you, a man IS REQUIRED TO PAY on the 1st date. 2nd and 3rd we MIGHT split. If not, fxck outta here, I'm already turned off.

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  • Whoever asks the other person out pays! If a guy asks a girl out, he pays, if a girl asks a guy out, she pays. After that first date they should just split it there on out

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  • I voted split it, but I think whoever asked who should pay. I think it's bitchy to ask a guy on a date and pick all the places, but make him pay. :/

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