My boyfriend hangs out with his ex girlfriend once in a while.How do I talk to him about this?

My boyfriend hangs out with his ex girlfriend once in a while. Not very often but since he has been I haven't been spending the night anymore (he still lives at home). His mom said she talked to him about it and said that she has teenage daughters in the house that don't need to see him bring girl after girl in the house to spend the night and think it's OK. His mom says they are just friends and he says they are just friends. We have known each other for 10years and have dated off and on before but this is the first time we have dated with me having a 2 year old. I love him to death and his mom says he loves me and my family to death but I just feel like now that he is hanging out with his ex (by the way he told me if I did the same thing then he wouldn't want to be with me) things have changed and he keeps telling me he loves me and Haley and cares about us but I just wish he didn't need to do these things behind my back. When I asked him before about it he said he wasn't still hanging out with her but then mom and sister say something different. Yesterday I find out from his mother that he went over to his ex girlfriends house and I was like oh well whatever it is what it is. The thing is he won't even tell me that he is going to be hanging out with her. If he did I would not have as much of an issue with all this. I've already been through this once with my babys daddy and I can't go through this again because it started out as once a week then turned into they were dating behind my back while I was at work. I want to talk to my current boyfriend about it but I don't even know where to start and he says I don't talk about how I feel enough so what would I say? How would I bring it up? What do I do about all this? Should I believe the mom and sister? Should I break up with him before something happens? AHHH! What do I do I can't go through this again espically with a 2 year old that is already attached to my current boyfriend and loves him to death just as much as I love him to death. HELP!

Updates:
to lananoel: Not only that but when an ex does message me on my phone or anything I show him right then and there what they are saying and I don't respond so he does know I have nothing to hide then after he reads them I delete them.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Minus the child I'v been in a similar situation... My boyfriend at the time would constantly complain about me speaking to just about any guy but at the same time would hang out and talk to his ex.. He said that it was a bond I can't contest to and that one day I would understand.. (selfish ). If he is hanging out with her behind your back then he obviously KNOWS how much you hate him seeing her and he DOESN'T"T care... ( selfish ) Ditch him.. if she is that important to where he will lie for her its more than he is admitting to. The only person he should ever need to lie for is you! assuming you got in a jam or something.. Exes do NOT need to speak to exes.. sure every month or so to catch up and every other month or so for a lunch date but exes should't be such close friends... Funny thing is with my new guy I have almost no desire to be buddy buddy with my ex and he is pissed..! LOL it's severe selfishness your boyfriend has and I would not put up with it.. If he loves you and your child sOO very much he wouldn't be risking it for an ex..As for the mom and sister YES believe them. You described them in good character..

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    • I keep telling my man that I don't have any reason to be friends with my exs and that I tell them to beat feet and move on.I would never do that to him. Not at all. I think he is hiding something but doesn't want to tell me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.And let me tell you this..his mom told him last night (I live in NY) because we had a bad snow storm that if it was still bad he was to stay there (not that she really wanted him to) and I called this moring and he wasn't home!

    • This is phony Bologna you don't need... Leave it as in no contact.. When he cares he will catch up to you if not that proves how much he cared for you and your child..

  • If he was open about it then you would have nothing to worry about, but the fact that his hiding it makes it seem like something up. If he can't handle you hanging out with any of your exes (whether you actually would or not) then that's a sign of a guilty conscience, because he's up to no good with his ex. I think its reason enough to dump him for him to be alone with a girl behind your back and not telling you, so if I was in your position id leave him alone.

    if you want to talk to him about it, ask him calmly why he doesn't tell you when they hang out, and that you would appreciate it if he would at least tell you about it, and ideally stop doing that because it crosses a line in the relationship. If he can't respect that, ask if you can join in hanging out so you can see how they act around each other.

    try to make a compromise, and if he can't even do that much then he definitely has no respect for you or the relationship, and is not a person you should raise a child around.

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