Guys : how would you feel if you started dating someone and your ex did the same?

Okay so I was with my ex for a year on and off, we were both really infatuated with each other but at the same time didn't trust each other so it turned into a big mess. I still love him but the last time we spoke I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said yes. I was shocked but I didn't bother him about it, I just went on with my life. he heard a rumor I was back with my ex before him and he texted me upset about it. do you think this will make him want me back or no? why did he care enough to confront me about it if he's moved on? someone please help! because even tho I didn't make a fuss about him dating it's killing me on the inside, I absoloutly hate it :(

Updates:
would also like to mention that I have had my share of being low inour realtionship, I was unfaithful at one point in it and that's why we split, so he's not a monster for moving on.. just wish I could have him back and would have never done what I did..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust is a big thing in a relationship. Once you lose it the first time its pretty hard to get back and a lot of problems follow with it. I don't know if you being back with your ex is going to make him want you back or not. He could of confronted you about it just because he's pissed off at the fact that your trying to move on especially since its your ex. Which is hypocritical if he's doing the same thing dating another girl. You never know though he might want to see you again but now you have to question if his intentions are for real or does he just not want you with your ex or anybody else because he's jealous and it hurts his ego? You said you cheated on him and your with your ex now so he's definitly angry/upset with you. What's the deal with your ex who your with now are you happy with him and torn between the two guys or do you just want to be with other ex? If the other guy does give you a chance back your going to have to be prepared for war because I'm guessing there will be a lot of arguments between the two of you about everything that's happenned and you can't say for sure if you'll ever regain trust again some people dont. Its a tough one to figure out but sometimes it is the best thing just to move on. Its your life you'll figure it out.

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    • i am not with my last ex it was just that one of his friends saw him drive around my work and told him and he thinks I am back with him which I am not! I want to be with him but he's moved on apperently so I don't know what to do, I just wish I wouldn\t have screwed up in the begining because I would still have him.. :( .. is it selfish to say I don't want anybody else to have him?

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    • yah I agree. and me and my other ex broke up because we just fell apart. we didn't do anything exciting and barely spoke and if we did speak we argued. mind you I was together with him for almost 3 years so I can see why my recent ex would be concerned, he always would say he thinks he's just a rebound. but he was so far from that because I fell right in love with him and completely forgot about my ex. but at the very first of our relationship I wasn't fully out of my other relationship which

    • it a secret for about 4 monthes into our relationship. which is HUGE and I would have lost it if I were him. but I broke down and told him about it. and he was extremely upset. at one point my ex called him lieing and saying I was still with him whoch at that point was a huge lie. but because of the past he believed him. and we did end up back together but it was just a mess. I don't know if I could go back in time and change everything I did I would. it was just selfish and wrong in all aspects.

What Guys Said 6

  • Seeing someone go back to their ex is always painful, even if you don't harbour feelings for them right now. Because it makes you wonder if they ever really got over their ex. And if they didn't, doesn't mean that the entire relationship you shared with them, was a lie? It was a temporary thing, and they never got over the ex?

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  • Yes you screwed up. If you had cheated on him before then be glad he still chose to even talk to you but what it sounds like are two kids who don't know how to commit. Since you can't seem to stick with one guy and niether one of you can express your emotions then you don't need to be with each other. Seems like sex is all you're really after. Grow up a bit then try sticking with one guy.

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  • I'm KIND of going through the same thing right now.. I dated this girl for 2 years, we were in lovee blah blah blah. Its just little things got to me, and I felt as though I was falling out of love with her and that it wasn't fair to her for me to stay in the relationship if I didn't love her. I almost immediately however started talking to this other girl.. and my ex had asked if I had been seeing someone else.. and I told her yes, and she immediately got mad, and said how she had cheated on me and was seeing this other guy already too.. I know she isn't and that she didnt, that she was just trying to make me mad and jealous. It was kind of pathetic..

    So I guess to answer your question, it really depends on if he is just mad that you've already moved on when you were the one that caused the relationship to end. Or that he was just seeing this other girl to make you jealous, and that he does still love you and want you back.

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    • yah that was why my prior ex and I broke up too. its definately similar to my situation. well. I'm hoping she's just a fling or non exsistant lol.. because I'm going crazy and if he's doing this to get me jealous than he's doing a fabulous job at it hands down! ugh love.

    • Love sucks, its so annoying and confusing. But we all keep going back to it because of the good times we have while we are in love. In my eyes the good balances out the bad, but it IS hard, and it shouldn't be.

  • keyword is that he's your EX, not current boyfriend. Get over it and move on. I also don't even believe in monogamy so I could care less about 'cheating'

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  • how would you feel

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    • well, he did move on apperently. so I feel like hell really..

  • I know what you mean. A long time on and off exGF and I...it seems became ready for a relationship...and found other people to be in them with almost simultaneously. It feels strange but in a good way. We both found people who we may share less common interest with may be better to actually live life with.

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    • thats really good news! I hope I have a happy ending like that lol..

What Girls Said 6

  • You can't expect that your ex will never date anyone else. Depending on how long you've been broken up, it's natural for it to sting a little bit. But as time goes on, it gets easier and becomes something you really couldn't care less about. My ex, who I was with for 5 years, when I ended things, I was still afraid of the day that I'd come to find out that he was with someone else.. because for the longest time, I couldn't imagine anyone else in his place. You feel like you've been forgotten and thrown out the window sometimes when you find these things out. But that's obviously not the case. If you're doing and telling him things because you think it will make him want you back, just don't... move on with your life, and if he happens to come back, and you two can manage to untangle the mess you made the first time, so be it.

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  • :Absolutely I feel bad, but at the same time we can't dictate those things (he needs to do or not to do) after broke up,Its really hard to see your ex dating to someone else but in my situation he's the one who dump me so I guess I need to date with someone else too maybe in that way I can forget him but ofcourse no matter how they hurt us still they became part of our life and even if we deny that we don't love them at all and we move on already but still there are times that you can't forget them and you will miss them...Thats Love :)

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  • he sounds like jerk... he has no problems in moving on..dating some other girl but he hates tht you are happy with someone else...

    if he cared enough fr you he would have been with you and not some other girl. that's life's bitter truth

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    • yah but he's not a jerk, and I forgot to mention that I cheated before and he was having a hard time dealing with it and that's why we split, it wasn't him it was me.. I know I'm an idiot, I know..

    • oh well then its fr him to decide wht to do then...ball is in his court.text him bck tht you are not seeing ne1...tht it was a rumour

  • that would be awkward.

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  • that would be weird.

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  • hi luv. both of you gotta understand and be really aware of the root of the problem that arised in the relationship between both of you. If the problem is not something that can be solved, there's no point of getting back together because both of you are just gonna get hurt even more. there is a chance that he doesn't quite know what he wants in a relationship, and also whether he really likes you. Don't let him decide your choices. Think about what you really want in a relationship in a long term, and whether it's practical for both of you to be together in a relationship right now. If both parties are still unsure of things, and that the future between both of you are uncertain, don't get back together. think for yourself and only yourself before you start communicating with him :) x

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