Dating after my divorce. Should I date others? Or not?

I was married for 33 years, since I was 18. I waited a year after my divorce to start dating. I've been dating one man now for about 6 months but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. We enjoy each others company, lots of chemistry, but it almost seems "too" comfortable. No one has said "I love you" yet & I'm not sure I see it coming. I feel like I want to continue dating this man but not close the door on other options either. I don't want to lose a good man either. Am I crazy to think someone my age can find mad, passionate, true love? Stick with this and see where it goes? Or move on? What to do, what to do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's possible to find mad, passionate love out there. But you will have to increase your chances by dating different people. Not all at once of course.

    Ten years ago I got divorced after 20 years of marriage and started dating. Had two serious relationships but I didn't feel totally enthusiastic about them. Last August out of the blue I was contacted by a women I knew 30 years ago, looking for a long-lost mutual friend. Together we both worked on tracking down this friend, and while doing so found out she was divorced and we just started talking now and then by phone.

    Long story short, I flew down to meet her and we just had so much in common. But the thing was that she had withdrawn from dating because she felt the man she was looking for wasn't out there. She wanted someone who could relate to her on an emotional level and all the men she met couldn't do that until I came along. The fact that I could relate to her on that level turned her on so much. She is everything I would want in a woman, and we love each other dearly. I have never felt such a strong sense of "fit" with a woman before.

    So, what I'm saying, is that someone special is out there. You may have to date a few, but your chances will only increase if you see more people.

    • Thank you, very helpful. I think it's a combo of fear and comfort level that keeps me from venturing forward. I know you are right.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Same here after 20+ years of marriage. It takes time to reset your patterns. Especially finding out what you really want compared to what you think you want.

    You waited a long time before dating. I would love if you would message me on how you did that! I only waited two months and that almost cracked me. The physical connection with another man was something I had never been without and found it unbearable to be without. I was and am fortunate to have many male friends and had a wonderful six months romance that I just ended ( not ready for commitment and all of the sudden he was)

    But I know that the right man is out there that will consider me the right woman. Date more. Good luck!

  • Your never too old or too young to find true love, and when you have that right Guy you will KNOW IT there want be any doubt about it, if you feel the relationship is going nowhere it may be time to end things I know it will be hard but just tell him you need some space, and go out have fun and see if you can find that right Guy! He's out there somewhere, I promise

  • I'm not very experienced as you are, but I do know that if you find a good man in today's time you should definitely hang on to him. Everyone wants to experience "mad, passionate, true love" but when it comes down to it, how many people actually have? I'd say comfort is worth more than taking my chances, as long as it doesn't get to the point of me feeling that I'm settling. Those two are different so if you are actually feeling like you are settling then that is unhealthy and I say you would be happier experiencing your "singlehood" a little more.