Would you ever date someone heavily affected by a mental illness?

Or a disorder, or whatever. On any stage of it. From someone like me, who's like, prone to schizophrenic/paranoid freak-outs and is heavily deluded, to someone who's really full on autistic, to someone who's like so far gone they ramble backwards and can't sit up straight.

You know. Or like, I dunno. What else is there? Agoraphobics and stuff, you know, people who can't leave their house, or take dangerous panic attacks in public, or something.

Would you hit that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ive got SZ and I had a girl for about 2 months, and most don't seem to have a promblem with it :) things like this get better keep your head up

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    • SZ? And thanks ^_^ I've noticed most don't either. I do keep my head up, haha.

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    • "If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!" <3333

    • Ohhh right. Nice. I thought I had hallucinations pretty heavy, until they put me in a ward beside this guy, who constantly shouted 'NO! GET AWAY! F*** OFF!', like, 24/7, thrashing the air, at nothing at all. I feel a bit inadequate, now, LOL.

      Whats that from, Shaco?

What Girls Said 28

  • If I liked the guy I would date him even if he had a mental illness or some kind of disability. It would be challenging, but I think I would at least give it a try. As long as I can get to know him and we really connect, I think I'd be fine with it. And, if I ended up loving him, well then I wouldn't leave him unless he left me. This is what I hope I'd do, and what I feel I'd do, but I've never been in that kind of situation so I don't really know. There may be obstacles I'm not considering right now that would come between us, hopefully we could overcome them.

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    • Mmm.

      Its funny I'm the only person who'd actually prefer someone, romantically, who had some kind of illness. Most of my friends have had longstanding mental illnesses. I guess its a bit of a fetish, then, hahaha.

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    • Interesting, well those girls would be pretty lucky to come across you then :) You're a good guy ^_^

    • Hah, awh =] Shucksss

  • My cousin has cerebral palsy and she is only ten. She didn't learn to talk until a year ago and its hard to understand her, but one thing she has asked me numerous times was if she would ever get her prince. It breaks my heart knowing many people will look down on her and boys for the majority will never even notice her. Its a miracle she survived this long, doctors expected her to pass away two years ago.

    Anyways, yes if we had an intial interest I would definitly consider him, I'm not going to let one obstacle overcome love.:)

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    • Woww. That's stunning. What an astute question, too. She sounds like quite a girl. I thought Cerebral Palsy was like, a physical thing though? I didn't know it affected things like talking. Not that I know much about it, like.

      And that's good =]

    • It affects her motors skills like jaw movement for example. She also can't sit on her own, she is in a wheel chair and she can barely lift ten pounds. So yes its physical=/

    • Ohhh I see. Damn, that's heavy.

  • I have dated some one with a mental illness before, except he was a pathological liar it was awful. I guess I could date someone with a mental illness again as long as he wasn't a pathological liar or if it wasn't too extreme. Cause in my case I have ADD and my family thinks I am mentally insane so it is best I date some one who is crazy like me so we can be crazy together.

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    • Ohhh wow, pathological liar. That's crazy sh*t. I imagine that'd be harrrrd. Lol@crazy together, too. I like that. I usually consider myself crazy, you know, which is fair enough, and I fell in love with a girl who was totally sane. Like, really sane. Which is amazing, hahaha.

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    • He did know that Tara was fake, but yeah crazy people are awesome

    • Ohhh. And yeah =]

  • Sure. I'd hit anything that moves or breaths. Anyway, as long as they didn't get paranoid about me i.e. I'm suddenly cheating on them, I'm going to kill them etc then I have no problem with it.

    My little sister has Down Syndrome, so I can understand what it's like to be with someone with a disibility. I was diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder (very minor bipolar) and I was observed to be:

    Argumentative, have recurring irritable moods, recurring anger and aggression, rapid emotional swings, social isolation, intermediate social interactions, far and few between periods of being restless and unable to stay still, rapid thinking (only when I'm on an intellectual roll), sometimes starting things and not finishing them, far and few betwee bouts of inability to sleep or sleep well, far and few between bouts of excessive sleep and far and few between bouts of sudden giddiness, happiness and excitement.

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    • Damn. That's a lot for something minor, hahaa. And that's really cool your sister has Down Syndrome, that must be so difficult though. My mum did a lot of work with down syndrome kids, its a crazy thing.

    • Yeah, it is crazy.

  • The kid I have been seeing has sever bi-polar and its hard but when you find someone you care about your able to look past any imperfections.. you just need to find someone who understands you and is willing to be open minded and work with you <3 good luck

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    • =] Excellent. That's cool, bi-polars the most difficult in my experience. Real hip that you care about him that much ^^ And thanks, but I don't need luck, haha. I've already found a girl like that

  • It depends on what the illness is. I was with some one who is bipolar for a while,but I didn't notice any out of the norm behavior so it was fine. My mum suffers from schizophrenia...and seeing that all I can think is NEVER could I deal with it.She wanted to take her life last year because she went off her meds and she was having an extensive episodes...hearing voices. So...i can't deal with that. :(

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  • If that person was you, sure. :)

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    • Noooo your not. Your like the other end of that spectrum

    • Lol of you say so ^_-

  • Well I'm clinically depressed bordering on bi-polar, so it would be rather hypocritical of me to refuse to date someone because of their mental illnesses.

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  • Honestly, I hope people put up with mental disorders... because they just seem to become more and more common.

    I think I would be able to put up with it if the person is still intelligent. I won't even give slack to the mentally healthy when it comes to intelligence sooo. xD

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    • Hahaha, very good. And yeah! Everyones got something, now more than ever

  • Absolutely. Also I tend to be attracted to people with autism.

    in addition, I find, many people 'afflicted' tend to be wise beyond their years and don't pull the same bullsh*t so called 'sane people do., And often have superior creativity just do to looking at things differently. Most 'sane' people are SO full of sh*t, they act crazy anyways. So I wouldn't put it against someone if they were diagnosed with something. I've never met a crazy person I couldn't get along with. whereas I've met tons of irrational -narcissistic a**holes with no official diagnosis -that I don't even want to say hello to.

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  • hmmm.. Chances are yea I would as long as I was really into him.

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    • What if you could tell from the start? Like, I dunno. For 6 hours a day he talked backwards or something

    • i'd talk backwards with him, lol honestly idk, I guess id have to be in that situatuion to really know what id do.

    • Lol. Yeah.

  • I wouldn't be able to date someone who WASN'T mentally ill, I think. ftr I am mentally ill, not being a weird fetishist.. like ~manic pixie dream girl~.. ew. Manic depressive pixie dream girl, ahahaha!

    No, I'd really need my partner to understand, on some level. So neurotypicals are excluded from my Potentials

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  • No I don't think so tbh

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  • Yeah, I would love to.

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  • as long as the person is aware of their issue (not denying it, basically) and if its really severe, they are getting treatments.

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  • i personally wouldn't because I have my own mental disorders to deal with I couldn't deal with mine and someone elses, exception of ADD or something without freak outs

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  • i would love to say yes, but in real life I don't think so.

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    • LOL. Alright

    • LOL =D if you didn't stop there, we would be in circles! hahahaha.

  • I couldn't do it. Both of us would be too much for one relationship. Minor mental illness is fine.

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  • I have. I don't want to do it again. it's hard because I am too

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  • Sure, I am.

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  • No, I don't think I could.

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  • Depends on the person. I probably have some sort of mental illness (I'm not just being funny), so I can't really say. People seem willing to date me, and I have known other people who have different mental issues and are dating.

    It probably wouldn't cause the biggest deal if you really cared about someone.

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  • I grew up pretty much raising my dad because of illness. I don't think I could ever date someone with a mental illness just because I'm not sure I could handle the emotional weight of it for the rest of my life.

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  • Trust me,everyone has got something that could be holding them back. even if its not physical / mental.. or anything to do with health. they may have trouble with people or maybe someone close to them has passed away and their finding it hard to deal with. I've got epilipsy, its annoying but when you look at it in a differently its not that bad, I mean I could have cancer or a family member could have died or a family member sick. but anyways I've never let epilipsy get in the way of anything I want to do. don't think down about yourself, I know its tough when your sick but a lot worse could happen. I've dated lots of guys and its mostly because I'm confident with who I am, if they don't want me then that's grand, I know I will find somebody.

    think of the most horrible / annoying / ugliest person you know, if they can get somebody to care for them you can. xxx

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    • =] That's quite a lovely way to think, and thankyou. I'm not in short supply of care, though, that's not why I ask the question, but you seem a very kind hearted person ^_^

    • No probs, its the best way to look at things though :) don't mean care as in 'take care OF you' I mean care as in he's caring for you :) if ya know what I mean :)

    • Hahaha, yeah I know. I know what you mean, that's what I meant.

      I like to think of things as like... Well, a concept called Alchemy - you know, Alchemy being where you make gold from like, I dunno, grass and herbs and berries and stuff, whatever. But, this concept is like, a metaphysical alchemy, where you make 'gold' from darkness, essentially. You take bad things, like mental illness or ill health, and you use it to do good in your future. Its really good =]

  • My friend is dating someone with autism.. It's not severe, but it does interfere with his daily life. She doesn't mind though.

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  • I have mental problems, so I'm not sure if I could be in a relationship with someone who was highly unstable. If they have something that didn't make them completely unfunctional, I probably would date them.

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    • =] Its interesting to me to see people both saying 'I have mental problems so I would' and 'I have mental problems so I wouldn't'. You know, I haven't actually met someone without some mental problems. Maybe that just talks a lot about my town, haha, but I think there's something about today, you know?

  • probably not. because I have my own issues

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    • What are they? If I can ask.

    • i think I have social anxiety. I find it hard to really open up to a stranger. it's hard enough dealing with that, without having the additional burden of someone else's mental illness

    • Awh. That is tough, I'm sorry.

      Hmm. I suppose. Not the way I see it, personally, though.

  • I wouldn't date that person cause I don't want to pass on those genes to my kids and grand kids.. I wouldn't want them to go through that .. so that's someone I wouldn't consider dating but being friends with them is fine with me.

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    • Mental disorders aren't dependant on genes - or well, there's not sufficient evidence yet to really know for sure, but it looks like most mental disorders and illnesses are enviorment-dependant rather than gene dependant. That's like, physical disorders that are gene dependant. But that's a fair point to make - if it was likely to pass on to future generations, it would be almost unkind to use their genes. Which is strange, I suppose.

What Guys Said 19

  • Been there, dealt with that, Hell my mom has a mental illness if not more, I'd rather not live with it if at all possible...my father has been accused of things he clearly hasn't done, and I've dealt with enough from my previous relationship to know I really don't want to be there through marriage and children and old age...One of my best friends/mentor's wife had alzheimers and passed not too long ago. I've seen his pain, though he hid it so well, and given the choice I would not want that. But if I loved the person, I couldn't possibly leave them because of what they have. People aren't defined by their illnesses.

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    • Hmm. Respectable opinion to hold, sir.

      I say they are defined by their illness. I made a question saying that once, haha. 'A man is defined by his disease, confined by his words, and refined by his sh*t, and the way he picks it up.'

  • I would have to really get to know someone and like them a lot in order to date them if they had a serious mental illness. Regular relationships have enough problems that I don't want to deal with mental health problems as well. However, if the girl was really that great then I would put up with it. If it's something relatively minor then I would probably look over it more easily. There are so many different kinds of mental illness and they affect everyone differently so I would really have to take it on a case by case basis.

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    • Verygood. That seems to be the most popular solution. Which is real hip of people =]

  • In an insane world, it's the sane ones who are the most diabolical.

    Don't trust anyone who looks 'normal'. Chances are their soul is crookeder than silk.

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  • I wouldn't mind dating a girl who's got a mental illness.

    It would be a challenge I'd be willing to work with and try helping her be stable with her life.

    Besides that, I wouldn't have to worry too much of guys chasing her if they're picky.

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  • no, I demand perfection from my girl as I am perfection incarnate myself.

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  • If they aren't a threat to me, then I would date someone heavily affected by a mental illness.

    For example, if they were severely OCD, then I don't see a big problem with that. If anything, the household would be really clean and orderly. As long as the person won't flip out and kill me in my sleep, everything will be fine.

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    • LOL, clean house, yeah.

      What if they had PTSD or something, and could kill you in your sleep, but were being treated for it etc. and weren't actively dangerous?

    • In that case, I don't know. How could I guarantee that they would always take their meds?

    • You couldn't ofcourse

  • The fact that I'm as ugly as I am insane, a crypt mate like that would go perfectly with me. Only a girl like that wouldn't tell on as per all the teenage girls I have lined up for cauldron boiling. I like to keep them alive, you see, until the time of scolding begins as it taste better. So I need someone who isn't disturbed by all that screaming for help and will assist me with the cooking, and make sure the girls don't jump out of the water when my back is turned to get more fresh vomit seasoning. It's very upseting when my floor gets wet!

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  • would I hit it or date it? lol jk jk

    umm I don't know I guess it would depend if she could still function and talk to me I would

    It really depends on whether or not I'm attracted to her so whoever I'm attracted to I'll date.

    that being said I could easily be friends with somebofy like this, I'm not sure about a deeper relationship though

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    • Lol, I'd say you could do both, haha

      Ohh, yeah. Nice. Good answer.

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    • Lol, yeah I know. Well, I do kinda understand the traffic police. But we need them a bit more, you know. What with all the car bombs and stuff, hahaha. And we have very small roads and its real dangerous to speed. You guys have big mad open roads, huge concrete structures. No need for that.

    • yeah man six lanes and all that fun stuff. its just maddening to me because the cops are like "were protecting the people" "youre kid smoked... sorry he's in jail now for 2 years"

      the f***?!

  • Agoraphobia lol I actually know what that is thanks to link

    Anyway I doubt I would. I don't think I would have gotten into someone like that anyway.

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  • Actually fell in love with a chick that had crazy bad bi-polar, too bad though, it seemed to play a role in her running from my feelings. Long Story.

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    • Yeah, it would. I started to get close to a girl with bi-polar and then similar stuff started happening, but not to the same degree, obviously. That's pretty sad, though =/

    • Yeah, oh well dude, life moves on ya know?

  • date maybe, stay with, most likely not.

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  • No, f*** that.

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  • Love and god can beat in disorder I would if I really care about that girl

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  • So hitting that or dating?

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  • If they had good hygiene still. Ya.

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    • Why hygiene? Never saw you as a neatfreak

    • I'm not.. But.. hygiene yeahh.. don't wanna be sticking my tongue in a dirty mouth or have some chick with p*ss or sh*t on her touching me up. - Well p*ss could be a one time thing but that's it!

    • Loll, one time thing. And yeah. I get that. I thought after I said that that hygine would be sorta important to me to. Lesso sh*t and p*ss but I wouldn't like someone who dribbled and ran snot all the time, allover their bedsheets and stuff. Eughk.

  • If the girl I liked had these illnesses I would still want to date her.

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  • I have friends how are schizophrenic and are married.

    John Nash was married

    link

    a for me I did fall in love with a girl that is schizophrenic. It did not last long she was not in love with me.

    and she ended up in a mental institution.

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  • *shrug* I suffer from some pretty debilitating... issues that I am learning to overcome. Good luck finding anyone who's willing to be with you if you have issues though

    from what I've seen people aren't that patient, nor is a persons love that lasting. that's life though

    personally I'm not going to waste my time on someone who is defective, just as I no longer expect anyone to spend their time on me until I straighten out my issues and fix myself (which might take a few years but hey that's life)

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    • Hmm. Well, good luck. That's a pretty dark outlook, though.

    • I don't think so, it's just realistic.

      it's not like I don't enjoy my life, in fact I am learning to love my life, for myself, more and more each day

      experience has, however, taught me that that's just how things work. its only now that I am starting to fix myself (and acquiring more education and wealth haha) that things are starting to work out

    • Alright =] well, maybe its true for you. Like I said good luck ^_^

  • I have manic depression.

    Meaning WOW BIG HIGH!

    then o h m y g o d l o w.

    I don't even know myself hald the time but I have a girl who loves me and just does her very best, even though I'm in and out of psychiatric care.

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    • LOL, 'WOW BIG HIGH! o h m y g o d l o w.' Lej. Perfect way to describe it! Manic depression is a heavy one, I know. Crazy stuff, I don't envy you, like. That's real cool though, she sounds cool for that. I bet she's a lucky girl all the same =]

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    • so I'm bipolar?

    • Yeah, but to your average punter my age or older, its recognised as the same thing, 'cos we've seen it change.

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