IS THE AGE GAP TOO MUCH??

I'm 18 and recently been dating a guy who's 26. I really like him, and he seems to really like me, but is it too old? should I care what other people think of it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The ex relationship of the girl I'm dating now was with a guy who was 22 years older than her. She's 19 right now. I really think it just depends on how you think about it.

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What Guys Said 21

  • By asking this question, aren't you already caring what other people think?

    If it really didn't bother you, this thought wouldn't have crossed your mind. You just answered your own question, you do care what other people think because it may not be "normal" as deemed by society.

    You asked if you should care what other people think. Well, it looks like you already do care, you can't change that. If you tell yourself to not care, you'd just be lying to yourself.

    So basically, you know the age gap might be too much, and you care what other people think. What can you do about it? The answer isn't to not care, but to simply accept it.

    It's what YOU want. If you truly love each other, the age gap can be overlooked. Sure, it may be abnormal to society, or it may bother you what other people think. Learn to live with it and just accept it. It's okay to care what society thinks, but only if you accept it yourself...or else I see trouble for your relationship in the future.

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  • It is worth listening to friends if they know you both and have your interests at heart.

    8 years at 18 seems a lot more to me than 8 years if the younger of you were say 30 or 40, but I have seen larger gaps turn into succesful long term marriages.

    I had a couple of "Mrs Robinson" type short term flings with 30 somethings in my early 20s, that were never going anywhere, but were good short term fun for both. This is OK as well, provided both your expectations are realistic.

    The important things are to make sure that he isn't only attractive to you because it is flattering that he is older (and so has wider economic choices than you probably do), and that you don't miss out on all the things a "normal" 18 - 24 year old does. In some ways it is the best time of your life (old enough to be breaking away from home, not so old that you are weighed down with to many responsibilities).

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  • my own rule of thumb is +/- 5 years but honestly, I've know marriages with over 10 years age difference. So I don't think you should just jump into it with him, if he really does like you he'll be willing to take it slow. Just do your best to make sure that he isn't using you before you really give yourself to him.

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  • Lloyd

    Stop!...wait a minute.

    My girl and the two of you have a bigger age difference then the two of you. The main difference is that she never really care about it. You do! If you remotely ashamed of anyone your with that should be a sign that this isn't the one for you. You can go on having a relationship, but at some point he'll feel or won't feel this relationship. We don't care what other think and a matter of fact if I try to live my life to what other think. I believe that I would live a miserable life.

    8 years apart I don't think you would get that much of a stare and if you do and feel uncomfortable, excuse yourself to the restroom and never look back. This want be for you.

    The only one that can truly answer this question is you. So answer it!

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  • Age gaps don't matter. However, keep in mind that there is a huge difference in maturity.

    If a guy is significantly more mature than you, he might have high expectations. If you don't meet those expectations, he can come off as a condescending jerk. All those extra years of life gave him a lot of knowledge and know-how, while you are just beginning your adult life. Things that he views as simple might be a struggle for you, that can cause emotional clashing.

    Remember, it's not about age. It's about maturity. He can be 26 and have the maturity of a 20 year old, and you're fine. He can be 21 and have the maturity of a 29 year old man. I know I'm 22 and I feel like I'm 19. Guys are different and if you get along then great! Just don't mind the age difference... it's nothing.

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  • I never suggest anyone to go after age , specially when you have already got someone who loves you a lot. If he is trustworthy and you are sure both of you are in love. it means he is right guy. don't think about people around you, its pretty habbitual to look for others fualts.

    If you both are just passing time and you think final time to choose your real partner is still in your hand then you can think of break up. But if you think your in real love don't let him go.

    Well your just 18, you have long time to go. I suggest you to know that guy more and more, he loves you know doubt but try to know other things as well after love there are many things to come like future planning, family introduction, your job and future and marriage. If you find him OK in all these things then its OK with him for long relationship.

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  • Anything from 1-5 years is okay for me. Eight years is too much for me, but I've seen it happen A LOT. So I guess you are fine. :D

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  • No but your maturity level would be so different, you will probably would like to go party and do crazy stuff that people of your age like to do, while he probably would like more like sit down in a bar and talk for hours. He probably won't like all the things that you probably would like him to do.

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  • At 26 I wouldn't have been interested in anything serious with a teenager.

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  • Hmmm...ur legal, right? so why should it matter then. Its that simple.

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  • No, you shouldn't care what other people think.

    Age gap means nothing; what matters is whether or not the two of you are at the same stage in your lives. If you still want to go out and party, be young, be a kid and he wants to "settle down," have kids whatever your relationship will not work.

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  • Nope. I don't think it is.

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  • I'm "involved" with a girl that is 19 & I'm 25. What's two more years? :)

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  • Half your age +/- 7. Don't think it matters. Yes age is just a number, but so are the years of a sentence for statutory rape. That being said, I wouldn't expect this relationship to go anywhere. I don't know your situation e.g. school, work, both. Or his, but he will be looking for a longer term relationship sooner than you.

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  • Although a gap of 1-3 years is my preference, I think it's the level of maturity that counts.

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  • I had a friend who was 21 years old and she was dating guy who was in his mid to late 20's. I say it doesn't matter as long as your happy with the person.

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  • It doesn't matter with the age, but first decide & ask your self whether it is attraction or some thing ?

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  • age is just a number

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  • It shouldn't matter what the age is.. As long as you are both happy..

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  • well, as long as he's on your level date him and consider how old he look for his age too.

    do you fit in with is age group?

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  • I think that's fine

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What Girls Said 12

  • The age gap doesn`t really matter.

    What matters though its where you (both) are in your lives. My friend just like you at 18 met this 26 year old guy. While he was thinking of marriage, she was thinking of partying and just finished high school. He proposed 3 months after dating, ended up divorcing 8 months later because she cheated on him. She was bored and rebelled.

    Also you have to keep strong because his friends might tease you guys about your age difference.

    It might be hard for him to hang out with your friends and it might be hard for you to hang out with his friends because of the age difference and what people like to do or talk about in that age group and just their different lifestyles.

    In a relationship its important to be able to grow together and different life circumstances might prevent that except if one person decides to compromise more than the other (and that barely ends up well)

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  • I personally do not date any guy who is 8 years older than me. But what it really comes down to is what both of you want out of a relationship. Is he just looking for someone young to have a fling with or are you looking to settle down? Are you going to college and he is wanting to get married and start a family? Your lifestyles must work together. Age is a number and some people claim it does not make a difference but yes it does. Also, you must look at maturity level. Have you tired asking your friends about this? You don't have to tell them that you are thinking about dating this guy. Just say something like: How old is too old to date for our age. Or Would you ever date a guy that is 28? They will be honest with you. Your friends may think that you are mature for your age and should date someone older, you never know. I hope everything works oust for you! :)

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  • Hell no. Two of my best friends and favorite people in the world are a girl who is 22, right around my age, and a guy who is 59. They work together better than almost any couple I've ever seen. They've been together for four years so far.

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  • No don't worry about what others say, You are 18, legal right? lol he has nothing to worry about and sometimes we women like older guys. Unless you have problems relating to the age gap, to hell with what others say.

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  • Age shouldn't really matter but for the record this age gap seems just fine. And, really, who's going to care? Nobody. Plus, you have plenty of examples of even larger age gaps which have been successful. I am nineteen and get along much better with guys who are 21+. I don't know why; it's not a preference it just happens that way most of the time. Go for it and try to enjoy your relationship! If you guys have a good thing going don't mess it up with silly things like an age gap.

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  • Normally people enjoy the company of those who have similar life experience. College grads like to date fellow college grads so they can share a similar knowledge base which births in-depth educated discussions. Full time employees in the life building stage (those looking to marry and have kids) tend to want people who are also pursuing those goals. The fact that this 26 year old guy is scoping out a teen ager is a little speculative to me, it states that he either isn't very serious about having intellectual/goal equality between his partner and himself - or worse - that he is only interested in a physical relationship and he plans to skip the moment he DOES find someone who shares his goals.

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  • aslong as you guys are happy nothing matters. I would ignore what people think :)

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  • Age IS just a number. You're legal, and as long as your relationship works, I don't see what the problem is. Caring what people think is silly--people don't know what's right for you, you're the only person who can judge that. As long as he isn't trying to manipulate you or use you as a trophy, and you aren't trying to use him, either, it shouldn't be a problem at all.

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  • no people in other countries get married way before that :P

    live your life girl!

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  • i don't think that's too old. and no, you shouldn't care about what others think. if it's legal then it's no one elses business. we're here for a short time only. do what makes you happy.

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  • If you like him then don't listen to others my grandparents we're 12 years apart and were made for each other(soul mates) so as long as you are happy and he treat you with respect and honor you and no one's opinion matters

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  • definitely too much. you're in different places in your lives

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    • I agree the gap is large. If your 18 your in high school or just finished it. He's 26 and out of college by now most likely.

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