Why Can't I be Forgiven?

Ok here goes. I messed up big I know that I just wish he would forgive me.

When we first started dating he would inititate affection and hanging out. Well after awhile it slowed and I was always taking charge and initiating hanging out. Well while it was slowing I was getting beginning to feel unattractive and that he wasn't that into me any more ( My gut is normally right), but for the first time I said something but it came out all wrong and he felt that I attacked him.

I didn't mean to. I wanted to know why he changed he goes this is who I am and I said that was fine but I wanted to make sure that he still wanted to be with me. Well he broke up with me because he feels that when we hang out that I am expecting something from him that he is not how do I prove to him that it is not that way.

When we broke up he said he still wants to be friends so I dont' know what to do if there is a way that I can prove to him does he want me to prove that I am not going to go away I just don't know what to do.

We were dating for 3 months and he wanted to come to some of the most important stuff of my life ( I didn't ask) I am soo stupid. any more questions just let me know. and I will answer.

I texted him last week and he responded right away I just don't know :(

Updates:
Ok what I said to him was that it would be nice if he initiated things once in awhile . He did none of the work. I initiated cuddling, hanging out etc. I felt maybe he wasn't into me and I just wanted to know before I vested more time because
I was starting to fall for him. I made a mess of it I learned my lesson this time.
well here it is he had found someone else and was trying to initiate me to break up with him we have a mutual friend it really sucks I have sat here feeling guilty because he told me it was because of what I said and all along he was trying to alleviate
his guilt and didn't want to be viewed as the bad guy well now I view him as a jerk and it has nothing to do with not wanting to be with me but not being honest with me. I took his number out of my phone and deleted him next is myspace have to do it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not sure about the entire history, or just how intricate this entire situation is, but if this is all there was I have a view. It would help to know exactly what you said to him though.

    He sounds like he jumped the gun. He sounds very sensitive on this particular issue and attacked you back. I'm not sure why, but the best I can explain it is like someone telling an alcoholic he or she is an alcoholic. The person freaks out and denies everything. (No offense to alcoholics).

    Bringing the conflict up again to try and clear things up with him could spark another conflict. I see two options.

    1. You can wait it out. Be nice, friendly, ignore what happened, and hopefully the relationship will restart.

    2. Confront him to his face. Tell him he completely misunderstood why you said, and that you only wanted him to know you felt like he didn't love you anymore. You were scared.

    I see those two as being your best bet. hope it helps.

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    • I hope so he wants to be friends that makes the stupid thing even more confusing lol... Never have the dumper utter those words. I am hoping that maybe if we get to know each other as friends we may have a better relationship anyways. but thanks I won't confront him I feel that usually pushes them away

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    • Sorry it didn't work out. I hope I managed to help you at least some. I do applaud you for not completely cutting off the person and giving him and others the opportunity to show if they really want to be friends.

    • Thank you for your comment it has helped and I never refuse friendship with someone I shared part of my life with that is petty but they have to want it as well......

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • I think that your insecurity scared him off. Right now I would focus on building your self esteem and continue being his friend. Later on down the road he may want to start a relationship again but for now he doesn't. I don't think he wants you to prove you'll stay. I think he wants you to be happy with yourself. What did you say exactly?

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    • I put an update as to what I said....

    • Ok, 3 months into the relationship is quite soon to stop putting in effort. You are not entirely at fault here. You are right in communicating your feelings. However, you should know that if he is not putting forth as much effort it could be that he feels now that you two are official he doesn't need to put forth effort anymore. Where you went wrong was by thinking it was your fault and thinking you aren't attractive.

  • First of all he needs to except you as you and not expect you to do the first move, you need to seek attention else where and see if he fallows and if not then that is all it is , friendship.

    At first it will be hard but in the long run it does turn out for the best. Trust me I do no this because I have been there.

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