How can I learn to act disty/stupid?

I've asked quite a few questions on here about men liking smart or not so smart gals and it seems to me the majority prefer not so smart, which is perfectly fine. And in daily life I have also observed that guys prefer attractive not so smart girls over attractive smart girls which is again perfectly fine. I'm not a nerdy awkwardly social person, I'm actually in a sorority, one of the "top" at my school but I guess I am the nerdiest out of my sorority, I party but I don't drink and get drunk, I don't sleep around like many of my counterparts and I don't play or act stupid around guys, they happen to do all of that which works for them but even in daily life, then play or act stupid and ditsy and they still attract guys and guys seem to find the whole "stupid ditsy girl" thing attractive whether sober or not. My male friends go out with the ditsy girls, the ones who you have to explain everything to which again is fine. I know many of you will call me stupid for asking this or go on about how real men love intelligent girls or give me some speech, but in my life, real life, not on this site, guys don't prefer or care for smart girls which again is fine. I've approached guys but it never works out due to lack of chemistry. From what I've gathered talking individually to guys I know personally and on this site(certain users I won't mention) men are more attracted to ditsy or stupid girls because it doesn't intimidate them and the girls tend to be more fun and overall more attractive. I hate being a follower but sometimes being yourself won't get you anywhere, and I know this is low, but hell I'm ready, how can a girl act ditsy or stupid?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Please, don't become stupid or ditsy. On behalf of all of us guys who prefer the attractive and smart girl over the attractive and dumb as a post girl, I beg you; stay smart!

    The guys who usually go for the ditsy, stupid girls are the ones who need to be in control. They want to be in a relation with someone where they can say "she needs me to make all the decisions. I'm the brains of this outfit". They're often the same ones who act the toughest and yell the loudest. They have to have this show of power, because they know a smart girl would see through their bravado and leave them in the dust. Is that really the kind of guy you're looking for? Just something to think about.

    There are plenty of us guys who dig the smart girl. We don't puff out our chests and talk about how tough we are, because we know smart girls generally don't go for that kind of thing. We are out there, we're just not as flamboyant about it. Sure, it's harder to find us, but you're a smart girl - you can do it!

    And to prove that I'm not just blowing smoke, the last girl that I fell for would come in and sit down to chat with me at work (we worked for the same company). She'd usually bring a 7x7 Rubik's Cube and would consistently finish it in under five minutes, while talking with me the whole time and not missing a beat.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you have to ask this question then you are already too stupid for me to want to date you. I suppose you are right in the sense that most people on this planet are idiots and stupid men want to date even stupider women to make themselves feel better. I would much rather date an intelligent girl, even one smarter than me. It's nice to be at the same intellectual level of the person you are dating so you can actually have a stimulating conversation. If you want to act dumb to get with some stupid guy who is too insecure to date someone smarter than him then be my guest, but you can be sure that no one of reasonable intelligence will ever want to date you.

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    • I didn't ask if you wanted to date me. And I certainly don't care what you or guys on this site want because in real life, none of you exist. No guys have the mentality you guys have. Guys in my life prefer and go for stupid girls

  • you think appealing to moronic guys on here will translate to real life? just be yourself, a good guy will find you.

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  • I think your post answers your own question

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What Girls Said 9

  • Even if that were true and most guys did prefer women who act stupid and ditsy, why would you bother conforming and becoming someone you're not? I'd never do that, even if it meant my choices would be severely diminished. I'd rather wait for an intelligent guy I can be myself with. Besides, I doubt most smart guys consider serious relationships with those kinds of girls. Guys don't want a girl who acts like a giggling fool all the time. That kind of personality is generic and boring, so I hope you'll change your mind. However, I'll answer your question anyway:

    -Use simple words and make sure you always say "like" at least twice every sentence.

    -Laugh at things that aren't funny, especially when guys are around.

    -Act confused and pretend as if you have no idea what people are talking about.

    -Ask questions you already know the answers to.

    -Scream loudly every time something startles you.

    -Act scared and adopt the damsel-in-distress facade.

    -Agree with everything other people say, don't share your own opinions.

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  • You're dead wrong: being yourself will get you everywhere.

    Take it from someone who played many different roles, it does no good to pretend be something you aren't. Yes, it might get you a guy, or it might win you some friends, but you'll hate what you've become and not enjoy most of the time you spend with them. And are they true friends/boyfriends if they don't appreciate you for who you are?

    I've been through high school, college, and graduate school. In high school I did this exact thing, but I hated myself. And, I found out later, a lot of people hated me. In college I tried again, tried to be the sorority girl and the girl that giggled at the frat parties, but I wasn't happy. Eventually, I found a group of friends that could get my nerdy references and just deal with my quirks. They had them too. And I have more fun now than I ever did. I don't pretend to be something I'm not.

    It will hurt you professionally too. Your professors will know that isn't you, employers will catch on. It does no good.

    And guys-never change yourself like this for any guy. That's basically building a relationship on a foundation of lies, because you aren't letting him know who you really are. If the only guys you can find are intimidated by your intelligence, look somewhere else. Yes, the guys in the frat house are usually hot, but I'll tell you, most of them aren't in it for anything serious. And while they may be fun to hang around and date, you'll be over them quickly. It might take a bit, and it might be someone you would have never considered, but you will eventually find a guy that can accept who you are, enjoy who you are, and you'll love the fact that you don't have to be an actress when you're around him.

    Finally, if you really feel you must make yourself more approachable somehow, don't do it by dumbing yourself down. If you think you intimidate them, use the first meeting to get to know them and don't focus on yourself. By focusing on the guy you're taking the focus off you and any intimidation you might bring.

    Or go for an older guy. Did you ever think maybe you are just too mature for your age set?

    But please, don't make yourself into another squealing, giggling college girl. You really do not want to know what your professors and GAs say about you in the offices if you are. It's never good.

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  • I'm happy that you are open and not judging of men's attractions but I am surprised you'd be willing to act ditsy girls are bad, but it would be difficult to act like one for the sake of attracting a man. And I would say it is all well and good except that you admit that you don't do the one night stand thing so you would have to act fake for a good portion of courting. Then what would happen if he found out you are smart and couldn't hang? You'd feel even worse about your smarts and try even harder to hide them.

    My advice, which take with a grain of salt because it is one female voice against the collective male voices who know what they find is hot... I know I am smart and I use my smarts in class, but outside of class I don't bring up the knowledge that I know (like discussing how a woman in a movie will emotionally react later on in the movie due to physiological and psychological studies of women in similar situations) But I won't pretend that I don't know anything on the subject matter. I also have things that I love about myself and I'm proud of (graduating with a 4.0, graduating in 3 years, ect) but I don't trot that stuff out on a first date. I try to shield my brainyness from them without being fake and pretending to be stupid. As time progresses they will learn through interaction that I am smart and they will either turn to me for advice and help or they will leave. But at that point it isn't because of anything I did wrong, it is because of their own insecurities.

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  • You are not going to attract someone you genuinely like if you put on an act. Good for you for not acting stupid. Not sure if these girls are actually stupid, but I think these boys are dating these so-called ditsy girls because they're getting sex from them. If you want to attract a frat boy who is going to associate with you just for your sex, then act ditsy. Otherwise, continue to be yourself and eventually you will meet someone you like. This will take more time than just following the crowd would, but it will be well worth the wait.

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  • Oh boy, you are looking at a small sliver of the male population that are self pronounced chauvinist hogs. Most of which are of the frat boy variety.

    Therein lies your dilemma.

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  • -Laugh/giggle at everything said

    -Ask question when a joke is told, then when someone explains it to you giggle

    -Act like an airhead

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  • Whoa whoa whoa...back it up...you WANT to be stupid? Trust me girl, if you're asking this question, you already are. If you want to attract stupid guys who only want you because they think you're easy, then go ahead, act like that. If you want to attract the right kind of guy, be yourself, be smart, be strong.

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  • the only type of guys that like dumb girls are guys who are either dumb themselves or guys who want to take advantage of a dimmer girl. neither of those types of guys are good catches at all so DONT CATER TO THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR! what guys like is a carefree easygoing attitude that a lot of smart girls are stereotypically thought not to have. as long as you have a cool personality, know how to have fun then guys will like you as a smart girl

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  • i know it sounds odd buut I like you ha ha :)

    you are just as fine as you are, and there are lots of other guys out there who are looking for a person like you. trust me, you are fine as you are :) I was a not-so-smart type of person, (I was called dumbass and blondie everyday but theen I got smart with like a looow common sense hehe but now I'm all smarty and happy with where I'm going aaaanyway) and its fun only for a while but then later on, you'll just find it to be really dumb I mean why get a guy to like you when when he's likes the mask you put on in front of him instead of your true face or well I think that sounded right but good luck! hehe :)

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