Are women getting bad advice from other women?

I keep hearing on this sight girls say things like how do I let a guy know I like him without making it to obvious. Or how do I flirt with him without overdoing it. When guys love it if a girl says I like you. We love it if you put your arm around us or rub our back. Even if we arnt into the girl we love that stuff. So what are women worried about? What are they afraid of. Its like there afraid of something that isn't there. Most guys love a girl who shows us she likes us it feels great. So why the hesitation?

Updates:
I just wanted to respond to captain sarah ononw1. Don't you realize that it increases your chance we will like you. That its totaly flattering you can win men over this way. Even if the guy was unsure at first.
if you feel morecomfortable try bonding platonicly. ask him about the football gamr. ask him if you could study togeather. listen to his covo with friends and if he likes vamp movies ask him avout dracula. then after a cupple weeks ask of hanging ask him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girls don't just walk up and give their affection away to just anyone. If I like someone I WILL tell them so and from that point on I'll touch them or hug them or do little things to let them know I am serious. Now if he wasn't into me before I'm sure he'll think of me after that. Sometimes it turns out that he likes me too, other times they shy away and let me know my affection/attention is unsolicited and other times they begin to have some feelings for me too. Us girls know that rejection IS part of life but some guys can be so cruel and immature about the way they handle a strong, confident woman coming on to them. Even guys my age tend to revert back to adolescence when approached by someone like me. I ask questions about whether he likes me or not just because I want to be sure he is somewhat into me or considering my affection before I make a move. It boosts my confidence and it lets me know that the odds of rejection are a lot smaller when I go up to him. And yes, I as a matter of fact DO NOT ask my girlfriends for advice because girls are very "catty" and would love nothing more than to see another girl fail so they can say "I told you so". Some girls are intimidated by girls who are confident and aren't afraid to approach a guy. They will discourage you because they want to succeed at getting a guy before you do and it will piss them off if you get someone and they can't muster the courage to approach a guy they really like. Instead they just put you down and tell you you're making a big deal out of small things he does that don't really mean anything. So you start to doubt yourself but your gut feeling says "he likes me!" Girlfriends put doubt in you because they want to be the first to make the catch. Others like to steal what you are eyeing.so on and so forth. The list goes on and on but in the end I prefer a guys opinion. That's why most of my friends are guys. They are honest and aren't trying to embarrass you.

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    • Just realize that some of the biggest jerks change into nice guys when approached by girls. I've known guys who make fun of people a lot but when a girl lets them know she is interested they are very respecful to that girl its like a total persnality change. they respect you for your effort

What Girls Said 6

  • Well, what about the shy guys? I've noticed a lot of questions involving these kind of situations aren't for the most outgoing individuals. Personally, I think this kind of behavior would scare some of them off. As for the outgoing guys, we're probably afraid it might make us seem too easy. Other than that, it really is self-confidence issues. We're nervous enough, as it is. On top of that, we're afraid of being rejected, looking like an idiot, and having it rubbed in our faces.

    Just because some guys would respond well to the physical contact doesn't mean it's necessarily the best approach for that particular person. If a girl has to ask how to let a guy know she likes him on here, it probably means she's too nervous to initiate any physical contact. Otherwise, she would've already done so.

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  • Part of the problem is that some women are insecure or unsure of themselves when it comes to men. I know when I'm interested in a guy, I'll talk to him, get to know him, and if I feel that he's returning the same sort of vibes, then I'll hug him, or when I'm walking past him I'll lightly touch his waist, arm, back, make lots of eye contact and do the silly little play fighting. I'm not afraid of rejection (yes, it sucks, but it's a part of life), so if he ends up telling me he's just not interested, ok fine, I'll still be friends with him, no big deal. Life goes on, so why so many women are afraid of being "hands on" when it comes to letting a man know she's interested in him, I don't know, because like I said, I don't get freaked out by the idea of letting a guy know I'm into him.

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  • I tend to hesitate because I'm afraid of his answer and also I don't want him to think that I'm a stalker or weirdo. In my life I had approach two men and they both turned me down flat and because of their rejections I'm now afraid to approach guy.I rather have a guy approach me first. I might approach guys again in the future once I can get over my last two rejections. Its a different story if I see a guy and if he show me enough signs that he likes me then I would approach him first.

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  • We are afraid you will think we are weird. Most of the time if a man touches a woman in that way, unless they are very close, women think they are creepy. We are afraid of rejection and afraid they will tell other guys how stupid we are. Rejection mostly. We are afraid it will make things awkward if the guy doesn't respond.

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    • It is scary because it isn't normally something girls do. There is one man I would LOVE to touch like that but I am scared to death to try. I think about it whenever I'm around him and kick my self every time we part for not doing it. I am usually a very confidant person but I can't get my sh*t together when I'm around him.

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    • Women may think a guy is creepy if they do that. but a guy usualy wont. what you should realize is behind your back guys are telling other guys how they wish women would show more interest. guys are mistaking your fear (general u) of rejection as lack of interest in men. if not for this site I would have thought the same. what a releaf this isn't the case

    • It defiantly is not the case. I think about it all the time around men I am interested in. Sometimes I feel like I won't be able to hold back and have to leave the general area to calm down. It's crazy!

  • because it's preferrable that love be return or reciprocated than just girls giving attention to a guy who is not interested in returning the favor.

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    • A guy who wasnt interested in you may be so impressed by your approach that it may change his mind. also evry guy knows what rejection is like not every girl does. yhis means he will know exactly what your going threw and give you a lot of respect. we know weve been threw it

    • I touch men all the time and most of the time it's meaningless; like a hug, tap on the shoulder, even more intimate forms of contact. I enjoy contact with some men too but not all of them. will run away from guys who I know have interest but I have no intention of returning them. I don't think girls are afraid of touching men; they are just picky.

  • so reserve those touches for guys we seriously like or just want something physical with.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Q. Are women getting bad advice from other women?

    A. Most women give terrible advice.

    The fact of the matter is that often times women give advice based on what logically makes sense at any given moment, whereas in reality what women respond to can be the exact opposite of what they think they want. Chalk it up to feminism and social programming.

    Remember, our bodies still respond to the same cues and stimuli they did 10-40K years ago. It's just how we've been evolutionarily programmed. 40 or 50 years of social development isn't going to change that. This is why women will date so called jerks and bitch and moan about never finding nice guys, while many guys in her life are probably dying inside hoping she'll finally recognize them as her Prince Charming. It's pretty much because the classic behaviors "nice guys" exhibit aren't sexually appealing. It's that simple. For more information, check out my blog: link

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  • Because that would make it seem too easy, and girl's love to dramatize everything and make big problems out of nothing.

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