How can I meet available women my age that aren't turned off by my lack of dating experience?

I am 30 years old and have never dated or had a girlfriend. Obviously I'm a virgin also. I have been very shy for most of my life until I started to improve by my Senior year in college. Unfortunately by then I was too late in the game to really start meeting friends of the opposite gender. I did go out occasionally to bars, clubs, coffee shops, off campus activities, sporting events, etc. But due to my lack of game, I just didn't seem to gel like a normal person. I have always been guarded against failure. In the last 2-3 years I have joined a dating site, started volunteering, and been in a young professionals group. However, the stigma around me still remains. I have taken baby steps for it seems like forever, with no results. I stay positive most of the time, but it increasingly bothers me when I see almost all the people I grew up with being married, engaged, in a serious relationship, or just casually dating. My other friends who are currently single can somewhat relate, but even they have had plenty of dating relationships. Furthermore, the women who find me attractive or say nice things to me about my personality are either married, divorced, attached to someone, or have a couple of kids out of wedlock. Maybe I need some sort of counseling. I am just afraid of spending the rest of my life alone. Thank you to everyone who can take the time to read and respond to this lengthy post.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well maybe you shouldn't tell them about your lack of experience right away. If you have that in your online dating profile, I would definitely remove it. When a woman reads that or you tell her before she really knows you she will probably think you must be weird or something so wait until she knows you until you tell her that.

    As for meeting women, no more baby steps- you are a man so start taking man steps. Go to clubs/bars with your friends or even alone if you have to and just start talking to girls. Repetition is the key. The more you talk to them, the better you will get at it and the less afraid of rejection you will become. Just look up a couple of openers online, walk up to a girl or a group of girls, say the opener and talk to them a little and then say you have to get back to your friends. After a while, you will be able to talk to them longer and longer and before you know it, you'll have your first girlfriend, or at least hook up. Good luck

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    • I don't ever bring up the lack of experience thing unless the girl asks first. I learned that a couple years ago. However, you're right about me being too complacent. I just takes me a lot more time to open up and be comfortable.

    • Only because you think it does. I was shy and quiet as hell in high school but I decided to change in college and I've improved so much. It's all in your head man. You just have to realize that.

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