Ive been looking at how to go out with girls lately, as I feel my love life has been kinda non existent. I've gone through a ton of articles and asked for advice through websites such as this one and I'm wondering if its normal to suddenly feel like every girl I meet I should try it out on.
I had a uni meeting this evening and I was sitting next to this girl. I'm not sure if she's my type but it felt like I was trying to force myself to see that she (and another girl) could be a possible date opportunity. I know that if I hadn't read any of this stuff before, I wouldn't have been thinking things like that, but now that I have gone through all these articles about how to attract women or go on dates, I'm starting to feel like I'm not being true to myself because I'm fully aware of all of my actions, as opposed to being myself.
Has anyone else experienced this? I know dating takes time and its only been about a week since my sudden awareness of my situation. Now I'm really confused cause I've read a lot of articles, seen a lot of youtube stuff and all that and it just feels very weird to be doing all of this.
Most Helpful Guy
The online dating advice (I give plenty) is fun to read because it helps open your mindsets up... while most regular guys don't realize they can have choice with women (so they settle) YOU get to pick and choose the girls you really want. That's powerful and should get you excited!
What you're feeling right now is a feeling of uncertainty. That's pretty natural because you're going through a phase of personal growth where it's all new territory. Your unsure how your new mindsets and actions are going to help, or hurt you.
David DeAngelo calls this "Transition Vulnerability." Its that phase of your personal growth when you're transitioning from the safe world you currently know, to the new (and potentially unsafe) world you're getting to know.
You're transitioning from chump to champ, but you're vulnerable because you're not a champ yet, but you're stepping into the ring with women who are champs... this can feel ... scary! Simply because you don't have enough experience under your belt to feel like you can handle anything these girls can throw at you... and trust me, there will come a time when you DO feel like you can handle anything they do or say.
But it takes time. And patience with yourself. And experience.
There's really nothing a girl can say or do that matters ultimately.
If a girl doesn't like your approach or your attempt at flirting and teasing, you might upset her. That's the only danger.
That's the WORST thing that can happen. She get's upset and tells you off.
If that were to happen to me, and it's NEVER happened, and I've talked to hundreds and hundreds of pretty girls, then all I would do is take a step back, apologize for coming across in a way that upset her, then I'd walk away.
1) If you approach women with the intent of seeking getting to know if they're fun and cool, then you'll come across appropriately. Fun, and cool.
But if your intent is to trick girls, or hurt them, then your intent will make them angry with you.
No woman is going to be pissed off that you found her cute and attractive. She might not care, she might annoyed, she might be bored. But she's never going to be upset and angry.
2) Stay cool, fun and unreactive to her reactions. If you can train yourself to stay centered amongst the emotions of others, you'll train your body to never panic, and to always be focused and clear.
3) The fastest way out of this scary transition period is to experience as much social interactions as possible, as fast as possible!
Talk to everyone you meet, man woman and child, and you will soon discover that there's almost nothing you can say that will upset anyone, ever!
Welcome to the club dude!
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