Dating a man with a child?

Okay, so the title says it all but here's the background information. The guy I'm dating isn't any guy. I've known him for most of my life and he was my go to guy for all my dating advice. Now, since we're dating, It's a little hard for me to ask him advice on himself so I'm on here asking for help. He was with a girl for about 1year and a half and has a 1yr old son with her. They broke up for some serious legal reasons. He confessed to me about 2 months after I got out of my relationship and 5 months after his that he's always wanted to be with me and seeing me date other men hurt him. I was shocked but I never really took him on until recently.

We've been dating for about ... 8 months now and I still hold the rule that I shouldn't date anyone with a child less than 3 years old because of the connection they may have with their baby's mother. In his case it's difficult because he's like my best friend and we've already took it so far so now it's either all or nothing. He includes me in all his future plans and I know a lot of his friends and family. (From previous sitcuations of course) so it's not like no one know's about me. I'm just worried that I'll end up getting hurt of course but he's the greatest guy I've ever talked to on this level. Nothings forced it's not awkward it's just the idea that he has a child. The connection with the mother is what worries me. I know I should've stopped with the first kiss but now how do I deal with it?

How do I deal with her? What's some advice on dating a man with a child? And could this really work?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ok , he will always have a small connection with the ex because of the child providing both love the child equally.

    evidently he must have been good at his dating info or you wouldn't have gone to him as much ,right. also you've been best friends for along time. he may in fact have stronger feelings for you than he ever had with the ex. which he seemed to have already admitted . if so go forward and not worry about it. love him and his child ,who knows you and the ex could even become freinds

    LET HER(THE EX) KNOW YOU'LL LOVE HER CHILD AS MUCH AS SHE DOES ALSO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU'LL NEVER EVER TRY TO TAKE HER PLACE AS THE CHILDS MOTHER BUT YOU WOULD TRY TO TREAT HER AS YOU OWN AS SHE WOULD. YOUR NOT A THREAT BUT A SMALL EXTENSION OF HER WHEN SHES NOT THERE. YOU TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF TO INCLUDE THE EX IN DECESSIONS INVOLVING THE CHILD WHAT EVER THEY MAY BE.

    hope this helped the above is in caps I know but think it is important to have it that way in doing the above you will indear her to you .

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you're "OK" with dating someone with a child but worried about the ex then all you can do is come out and ask him how he feels about her. That is all you can do. You say you've known him a long time so do you trust him? Tell him how you feel and make a chose based on his reaction.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i have been seeing a guy that has a daughter too. the only advice I can give is that when it comes to his kid you will come second but that is how it should be. when it comes to the babies mom just trust that your man is being honest with you. I have really had to bite my tongue with most of the situations going on between him and his ex because I know he is going through a hard time and doesn't need another girl telling him what I would do and just learn to be there and listen.

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