Girls: EXACTLY what goes through your mind when you decide AGAINST a second date?

Especially if you thought he was really NICE on the first date?

What makes you not answer his phone call, or say that you're "kind of busy" or "not really in the mood for a relationship right now"?

PLEASE elaborate. Thanks!

  • He was kind of boring...I need just a bit more excitement than that wet mop.
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  • Hmmm...he's probably not used to dating/he seems kinda inexperienced?
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  • He was REALLY nice, but I just didn't feel a spark.
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  • He's too easy-to-get.
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  • Other
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, you're asking about a second date so that would mean that only the first date is being taken in consideration so with that I would have to say that I wouldn't rule him out if there wasn't an instant spark. Here are a few reasons I wouldn't do a second date. Major differences in opinion came out in convo that I already know wouldn't work in the future (definitely if regarding money habits, religion or sex), if I met him online then maybe I'm not physically attracted to him in person, I don't like "me too" men that just agree with everything I say without having an opinion of their own makes me feel like he would say anything just to get me, if he talked way too much, if he talked too much about himself and seemed self centered, then sadly if he didn't talk much and expects the woman to carry the whole convo and its like pulling teeth to get more than 2 words out. There are also the obvious reasons, there are nice guys that can't handle their liquor, have a temper, etc. What I can say for sure is that if you don't get a second date it has nothing to do with bing busy or not in relationship mood, those would all be bs excuses. Hope this helps.

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    • Thanks a lot. I'm trying to determine where nice guys who try to do everything right, end up going wrong.

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    • So I'm not saying to go for someone you're not attracted to but maybe in some of our requirements there are other things that would work and maybe even work better but because we have this preconceived idea of what we want we ignore someone that could be a great mate and I don't just mean looks.So for example lets say you do online dating and you keep picking blondes cause that's your thing but there's a really gorgeous brunette that has all the qualities you want why ignore her,shes still gorgeous

    • haha, you make some excellent points. I think both guys and girls miss out on awesome opportunities because we humans are so short-sighted. lol...used to be fat...

      Anyway, you sound awesome. Keep your head up and you'll find a guy who's smart enough to see that. For me personally, I'm challenging myself to see many different types of girls (in terms of culture, ethnicity, body type, hair color, etc.) as beautiful. There's a lot you can learn from people if you just open your mind.

What Girls Said 5

  • Regardless if the guy is nice or not, if I'm not into him then I'm not going to force myself to go out on a second date and waste both of our time by doing so. If the connection isn't there and I don't see anything happening between us then why go on another date?

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    • good point, but what makes you "not see anything happening" with a guy? I know it can be a vague hard-to-explain kinda thing, but for you personally, what factors into that?

    • There's no factors or rules or a check list as to what makes a guy not do it for me. If he doesn't do it then he just doesn't do it, simple as that. Its the same concept for a guy. You don't click with every single girl you meet and think that there's something between you do you?

  • If I can't see myself having sex with him, kissing him, and talking to him openly.

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    • 1. Do you imagine those things when you're on the date?

      2. What would make you "not see yourself" being intimate with an otherwise normal guy?

    • 1. I imagine these things when I first look at a guy.

      A girl can tell in seconds if she could NOT would have sex with a guy.

      2. If he's severely unattractive, unattractive, chubby/overweight/fat/obese, short.

  • Sometimes there's just not that spark there. There could be a billion reasons that someone doesn't want a second date but you should try not to take it too personally.

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  • there was no chemistry, nothing that would make me want to see him again

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  • sometimes I just get really nervous or scared if I like a guy & need to slow things down a little. that or I'm just not that into him

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    • What makes you "just not into" a guy? Or more specifically, what would make you turn down a guy after a nice first date?

    • just if he's not my type. I had an who literally loved me to the end of the earth.. kinda still does but I'm just not"into" him. I'm not sure why. & its different for everyone. for me I think its because he doesn't have goals in his life. he's not a loser or anything but I always think about it. if it is that she's just not into you then that's not the end of your world, you'll find someone whos as into you as you are to them

What Guys Said 1

  • Spark first, THEN nice! I'm taking notes! Thanks ladies!

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