Would you stop dating someone because of their family?

Would you stop dating someone because of their family (parents and siblings)...either you don't get along with them, or because the way they act or whatever?

My gfs family is lazy, eats a lot, yells and fights with each other every day...

i feel like if I marry this girl, I get the family and I don't want all the negativity, fighting, drama, laziness in my life. I can't picture them as my future kids grandparents or her sister and brother as an aunt or uncle.

Is this a bad thing? Do people consider In-laws when trying to find a mate?

Updates:
the drama with in her family is still going on...im about to lose it.


I hate seeing her upset but I also find it unattractive that she yells and curses at her family and they curse back.
im getting tired of going over there to all the drama and negativity and don't want to be dealing with that my whole life.


She can't even come over to my house because my parents and her don't get along...we have no where...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, this is a very good and tough question.

    I gave it a thought and sure it depends on some things. Ask yourself: how intimate will they be to me & my children after marriage? Will I be living nearby and see them everyday and that might lead to fights? or I'll leave far away with my love so no problem?

    I'd say it's an important factor for me at least BUT if they wouldn't be affecting my future life with him, plus I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him then I'll go for it. Good luck! :)

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What Girls Said 4

  • i would only take on a family like that if I was positive that person was the one for me...

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  • In my opinion you are marrying her and not the family. If you have kids and don't want them around that then keep them away, but it all depends on how close she is with her family.

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  • when you take all that into consideration you have to understand communication between one another is very important wen it comes to this kinda situations as in potential marriage. I am married and my wifes family is like that lazy, they fight a lot and they try to be in our lives I talked to my wife she understood what I didn't want for our son, she is close to the family but she respects that our son shouldn't have to see the fighting or problems that they have so wen you do decide to get married you should have already have had a conversation with her about how close she is to the family if she will live close to them and if they interact with each other that often like all this people been telling you, and I can tell you that family do cause a lot of problems.

    communication is the major part that you and anyone that you will fall in love with will have, it can put you in the hole or make your relationship better.

    good luck.

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  • Yes, you have to take into consideration how you want your kids to be raised. If she loves her family a lot and is constantly with them then it will be a problem. I know someone that was together with his girlfriend for 10 years and once they moved in together into a house, the family drama was the main reason why they split up. Love is good and all but don't be stupid, think about your future. If she isn't anything like them or hangs out with them really then you should not have to worry.

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    • well...shes not a big family person..I am...but I don't want my kids to grow up like me and not know half of their own family. And if her parents would be involved, they always fight with each other and I don't want kids growing up around that. But she's been turning into them over the past year or so, I'm afraid that she's going to turn into her parents

    • Yeah that's another thing that I forgot to mention.."the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree." If she does not notice her family's behavior then it would be hard for her to break away from those habits. If she is aware of the behaviors but doesn't realize she is turning into them then it is your job to point it out to her. I think most people grow up more attached to one side of their families regardless though.

What Guys Said 4

  • You ALWAYS merry her family as well. People say "oh yeah you are only marrying her and not her family", weeell guess what? that almost never happens. Guess what is going to happen when the marriage comes, christmas, thanksgivingm the first time that, the first kid comes, when her family members need help or problems arise with her family members, do you really think she will just ignore them and brush them off?

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    • considering I don't like the drama, yelling and cursing in her family...and my family doesn't really like my girlfriend because they think she's bossy and has an attitude...I definitely feel like there will be a lot of drama in our life if we got married... :(

      In the end, neither of us will ignore of brush off our family...I guess I really need to think twice about it...

      thanks

  • I think it plays a major role in one's choice but there's one thing that won't change, if you love her enough to marry her you will regret it if you don't ask. my friend once said "You can't help who you love."

    the girl I love her mom is an ex-marine and drills me like no tomorrow.. the first time we met she had me drop and do 100 pushups.. but you know what I did them because I love her..

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  • no

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  • it made me glad it was over with my ex because I hate her family.

    but I didn't want it to end just for that.

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