Over controlling girlfriend?

alright let me try and explain the whole situation. So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. When we were going out 6 months, my best friend Ashley got a boyfriend. any way, she and I used to hang out all the time, even when I had a boyfriend, but ever since she started dating her boyfriend, she spends ALL her time with him. Like she sees him everyday at school, Friday night, Saturday AND Sunday. My boyfriend and I will see each other at school of course and we normally hang out on saturday. Ashley and I are still best friends, but her boyfriends best friend, Toby, is having a really hard time with those two dating. She is a bit controlling and he always says she has her boyfriend on a leash. they got into a really big fight about it, he basically called her a controlling bitch who never let him hang out with his friend. Her boyfriend hates conflict so he did not say anything...

who do you think is right in this situation, her, who wants to just see her boyfriend a lot, or him, who just wants to see his friend sometimes. I didn't tell her this, but in a way I agree with Toby. She can't control her boyfriend, but toby should not have called her a bitch..


Most Helpful Girl

  • She has a valid point, but not the way she's going about it. I see my boyfriend every day because we go to college together. When we go home on the weekends he has all that time to himself. But most of the time we hang out we're hanging out with his friends... I like knowing them and hanging out with them, they're a lot of fun and they're great people. And I'm not all over him the entire time, I'll talk with his friends and go off to play a card game with one of them while he stays and talks with the others, and if he ever wants space he knows he can just ask. If she's forbidding him to see his friends to hang out with her then somethings wrong.

    But like I've said in just about ever answer I've given they need to communicate, not like Toby did. That was stupid and probably just made things worse. Regardless of if it was true he just put his best friend in the worst position possible. Now his friend either stays friends or stays with his girlfriend, he's an idiot for that. Doesn't matter if it was a correct statement he just ruined any chance he had of getting it to work out evenly any time soon.

    What should happen is her boyfriend sit down and talk with her. He needs to tell her what's wrong and why he's not happy, if e doesn't like confrontation that will make it better because he won't want to accuse her or fight, which is why things never get resolved, people are always blaming each other so the talk doesn't work. And, if she won't listen to him, and doesn't change her habits he needs to break up with her because that's not a healthy relationship and it's not fair to him.

    She needs to find a guy who can stand up to her, and she needs help to get over this complex she has where she needs to control every one's lives and this idea that she can rule the life of whoever she is dating because that's not okay. It's perfectly okay to want to hang out with your man all the time, just do it while doing what he wants.

    I would talk to her boyfriend and get him to talk to her in an adult conversation about it. Make sure Toby doesn't get any where near it otherwise everything will go to sh*t. If by the end of the conversation she doesn't respect his point of view, or won't listen, he needs to end it, and be firm about ending it. But HE needs to do this ALONE, you can prompt him, in fact get him to do it, but don't let him say you got him to do it, and make sure he speaks to how he really feels.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your friend's boyfriend needs to get his balls back and let Ashley know what he wants. If he cowers, then there's nothing Toby can do. Should he have called her a bitch? It wasn't nice, but in a huge argument, extreme words are necessary.

  • toby ftw! as far as calling her a controlling bitch, he was just calling a spade a spade, nothing wrong with that...


What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with her more...(ashley)..yes she should let her boyfriend have some free time with his friends, but it's their relationship and thei business..it's up to ashley's boyfriend to decide whether or not he'd like to spend time with toby. Yeahh she may control him...I guess...but in the end, it's really him making the decision..as long as they are happy..I would stay out of it. Some people are like that in relationships..they like to stay more to themselves...everyone is different! <3