Is it right to date someone that you're not physically attracted to?

There's a guy that I don't find physically attractive but I really do like his personality. Some people are saying if I date him I would just be leading him on, is that true? Or would it be shallow to not date him because of his looks?


0|0
9|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've dated some girls who I thought were unattractive, but dated them because of their personality. Now they had some features on them that were attractive so that helped but mainly the face region. It took my ex 8 months before I actually openly liked her. The longer we dated the more physically attractive she appeared, and all her flaws slowly went away. Til the day I found out she cheated on me, then well her personality went out the window, and her ugly looks came back into play real quick. Now, I've also dated girls who had no physical attraction whatsoever, and well I just couldn't do it, they have to be at least a little bit physically attractive,whether its their eyes, their lips, their smile, their chest, their stomach. their butt.. so on and so on. But if you don't find a single thing, there is nothing in my eyes, that will save the relationships. Those kind of people are the ones who become good friends that you can talk to, but not relationships. But you gotta make sure that is clear so you don't lead them on. And by clear, I mean literally tell them. Don't give them obvious hints, because trust me, they aren't obvious to him. Tell yourself this, if you can't be seen in person with him like holding hands and more.. then don't date him. If you can mustard that up... then his looks aren't as bad as you think they are. The fact that you are even asking this question, I would have to say.. don't date him.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • for a girl to find a guy, it's always been personality>looks.

    Looks can be easily fixed by having a nice hair cut, wearing trendy clothes, which "YOU" can help him out (after in a relationship).

    So, looks are not that important.

    0|0
    1|1
  • I personally believe that physical attraction is the difference between a close friend and a partner

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well being intimate with someone is a large part of a relationship, so if you can't do that with him because you don't find him attractive then you probably shouldn't be dating him.

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 9

  • I hate having to argue this so many times.

    Just because you have standards of what you like and don't like DOESN'T MAKE YOU SHALLOW. I mean good God. We all have things we like and don't like, and so long as you don't make fun of the people you don't like, and care at least some about the personality then it's not shallow. If you want I'll be the first one to admit it, and look I'll even leave my screen name to it so that way-

    I don't like fat guys, I don't like overly skinny guys, I don't too hairy guys, I don't like guys with no hair, I want a guy who can pick me up, I want a guy who's got a bit of lean muscle, I want a guy who has facial hair he can pull off, I want a guy with curly hair (don't ask I've always loved curly hair) and I want a guy who cares about how he looks and tries to maintain it.

    Now, just because I have expectations doesn't mean I'm shallow. I care more about his personality than his looks but his looks still matter. Because, I'm not going to lie, I want to have sex with my boyfriend because, if I fall in love with him, it's just one more way to show it. And if there's no physical attraction that won't happen. Not to mention I'll be embarrassed by him in public because I'll feel like I want some one I could be proud of how he looks, I will feel uncomfortable with him alone.

    I'll repeat this once more THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CARING ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE LOOKS. I HATE this stupid standard we have that if we aren't willing to date fat or ugly people we're shallow. That's not true! It's just not! And f*** any one who says it because EVERYONE has standards and EVERYONE has people they're not attracted to and people they wouldn't date. Don't be ashamed of it. Yes he's a great guy but you want some one that you won't feel ashamed cuddling with, who you'll constantly wonder if you could do better, get both looks and personality. I promise there's some one out there who finds him sexy and handsome and wants to date him, you're just not her.

    So relax, you're not shallow. Because you care about personality, just asking this question prove you're not shallow. Don't let any one ever tell you that. Okay? Very few people are actually shallow and you're not one of them. So just tell him that you'd rather not date him. Tell him he's a great guy but you're just not physically attracted to him and, at some point, that does become important.

    3|1
    1|1
  • To my opinion, you should be attracted both physically and psychologically to your lover.

    Be only attracted psychologically with your best friend, and physically to your (excuse the expression) "F**k-buddy", but it needs both to be dating, if you're serious. Or else, you'll be the one miserable one day. Personality should be more important than physicality though. If you believe that the personality is the deal-breaker, and makes the person beautiful, then you shouldn't be caring about it too much. Find your balance and what you want, that should do it. The real question should be asked to yourself: what do you really look for in this relationship?

    Good luck and I hope that helps!

    0|0
    0|0
  • think about this I guess, if you are going to get intimate with him you really need to be physically attracted to him...

    I've personally dated a guy I WASNT attracted too, he was so skinny and not my type (may he rest in peace by the way because he was my best friend too and he passed away) but he had the personality of someone I can't really even explain, he was just an amazing person and I miss him every day...

    and the funny thing was I thought I started to actually love him because he was so good to me, but I realized it wasn't the way I really loved someone...but regardless, just date someone you are physically attracted too so you don't break their heart..you'll be happier in the end too

    1|0
    0|0
  • No.. I did not find my ex attractive... We had a great time together and I grew to love him and find him highly attractive... However you can not expect these results if you find him hideous! A few attractive attributes are necessary.

    1|1
    0|0
    • "A few attractive attributes are necessary."

      I feel that is key. The person doesn't have to be perfect, but he/she has to have SOME qualities attractive to his partner in order for the rel. to work.

    • so tru..

  • Do it maybe he'll turn out to be the guy you're looking for:)

    0|0
    1|0
  • I'm in the same situation. The guy I am with is super nice and cute, but not really my type looks wise. If you like him though, that should be all that matters.

    But looks are important, you need to be able to be physically attracted to him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • .. if you start dating sometimes the person becomes more attractive I say its worth a shot ...

    0|0
    0|0
  • There's no right or wrong in it. If you're happy, stick to him but if you're not don't let him develop feelings for you then you ditch him>> not good.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why don't you just be friends with him? Yes it is leading someone on to get in a relationship knowing you don't find them attractive. What if you meet a guy that you ARE attracted to and has a good personality? There are too many guys out there to date one that you think is ugly. it's not shallow.

    do you think he would want to date you if he didn't find you attractive?

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...